Keeping a schedule...

[candelaria80]

Hello all!

I am wondering how many of you keep a good schedule throughout the day. Ours is really starting to frey and I am wondering if I need to pull in the reins a bit. Because DD is older and more adaptable these days we find ourselves out and about a lot, this is pushing back nap times and bed time quite a bit. She used to go down at between 6:30-7:30 every night, but now is pushing it to 8:30-9:30.

I haven't noticed signs of her being over tired yet, but I am wondering if I am setting up bad habits that may bite us later. Do you set up your life/activities around your LO's nap/bed times or do you go with the flow and what have your results been?

Thanks in advance.

[akind1]

We go with the flow, and DS has set his own routine. I prefer to call it a routine and not a schedule since it is really the order of events rather than a time. We are out and about too alot and I am not above interrupting a nap or delaying one if I need to go somewhere. He usually will just go bck to sleep in the car. our day is like this

6-7 wake up, eat
7-8 diaper change play
8-9 or 10 - natural nap - he usually falls back to sleep while playing on the floor
10 - wake up, eat
10-12 or 1 - awake time
1 - eat
1-2 or 3 - sometimes 4! - nap time (this one we lay him down for, unless we are out and he just falls asleep)
4 - eat
4-6 or 7 awake time
7-9 he cluster feeds during this time and eventually
8-10 - sleeps through to 6 or 7, although he may wake up around 3 or 4 for cuddles or to nurse, but not always.

and this follows usually if we are out and about too. Yesterday he slept a lot more because we kept him up late on Friday to go see a band (he was the only baby or child and we got strange looks, but whatever - he slept between sets and was happy the rest of the time - he finally gave up and slept around 11:30)

Every baby is different - some thrive on a really strict schedule, others not so much - I like teaching him to adapt - that he doesn't need to sleep or eat only in this place, under these circumstances, at this time - but maybe I'm not teaching him. perhaps he was born that way?

[SilverFish]

akind1, our day looks almost exactly like this. how old is your baby?

i agree, i like having a loose idea of what will happen during the day, but i want my kids to be adaptable too. i know too many people who end up with sleeping issues as adults because they can't handle noise, light or any kind of disturbance from their regular routine... my DH is one of them.

north american culture is really the only one that insists that children go to bed so early. where i grew up, kids and babies went where their parents went at night and either stayed up or fell asleep as they wanted... and everyone took afternoon naps as needed.

[Peony]

I take it day by day. DS likes a nap around 10am, sometimes I am home other days he naps on the go. Bedtime I usually try to stay with a schedule, between 7-8pm because I work from home and I need all 3 of my kiddos in bed to get anything done!

[texaspeach]

we just go with the flow. eat when hungry, sleep when tired, bathe when dirty. it's less stressful for me than having expectations of when certain things will happen. I found that I was really unhappy when I had an expectation that ds would go to sleep for the night by 7:30 and it just wasn't happening, so I reevaluated my expectations. I feel like as long as he is getting good naps in the day time and therefor enough rest total, the time when he goes to bed at night is unimportant to me.

that said, ds does typically wake up btwn 8 and 9am, nap around 11, 3 and 6 and goes to bed with us around 10 or 11. I don't stay home during naptime unless I need a nap too - ds is happy to nap while worn or in the car.

[nwatt]

We just go with the flow during the day, but always have dinner starting at 6 or 6:15 and then her bedtime routine starting at 7. For awhile she had cut herself down to 2 naps, but now that she is crawling/standing/cruising she has added back in a catnap in the late afternoon. She seems to like to nap every 2-3 hours during the day.

[tzs]

babies are amazing!

i've found that my 7 mo creates her own schedule which is surprisingly on track with that sleep book i read when she was tiny.
i think the author had recommended pushing bedtimes way up (from 10/11pm to 8/9 pm) and i was reluctant thinking i'd lose sleep in the morning. well, i didn;t hav eto make the decision because right at that age point she just started going to bed at 8/9pm.

anyway, i've found that as we've gotten older i've had to become more focused on her "schedule." that i really have to make an effort to be home during the afternoon nap or else she'll just catnap in the car and then not at all at home, not getting enough sleep and then being cranky at night. and if we're not home for her morning nap then she gets overtired and i have a hard time with sleep in the afternoon and it's all downhill. she's definately become less flexible these days.

that said, i try to keep a balance. if i can schedule my day around her naps i will. but if there's something we need to be at at a set time then we adapt. if we're going to a late dinner she can sleep in the stroller and it's not the end of the world. i figure i have to enjoy whatever flexibility we have while we can. it;s easy to tote around a napping babe but you can't do it with a 5 year old and expect them to be happy campers

[Megan73]

I'm going to be the odd mama out but I think it really depends on the kid.
I expected that my son would just fall asleep in the sling wherever I was but after the newborn period - maybe six months? - I found that he fit the 2-3-4 rule and that he was much happier if I made it happen.
He'd wake up at 7, need a two-hour nap two hours later, nap again three hours later for two hours, then go to bed four hours after waking from the second nap.
Even at 21 months, he naps at 12:30 every day for 2.5 hours and is saying "nap, nap" by 7:00 or 7:30 and nurses right down.
All this to say that we do set up our lives around naps and bedtime - and I get some rolled eyes from people about it - but it works for us.

[colsxjack]

We are kind of a mix. We set a schedule based on our DD's natural cycle.
She wakes between 7-8am
Has a nap about 2 hours after waking. Usually for 40 minutes, but one in a while will go for 1.5hrs.
Then she has a nap at 2-3pm. Or 4 hours from waking from other nap.
Then we start the sleep routine about 7:30 and she is down about 8pm.

We are always home for her morning nap. We are usually home for her afternoon nap, but not always. She will sleep in the carrier. If we are not home for the afternoon nap then we have to stay out until she is done sleeping. We cannot wake her half way through her nap and get her back to sleep.
She will not go to sleep on her own. But when we are out we can get her to sleep with a bit of rocking and sushing. Yesterday I got her to sleep in the middle of a convention centre with hundreds of people walking around and tons of noise. Then she slept on me for 40 minutes while we walk around.

It is not too easy to get her to sleep at a dinner party. But on those nights we just put her to bed later than usual.

[candelaria80]

Originally Posted by tzs

anyway, i've found that as we've gotten older i've had to become more focused on her "schedule." that i really have to make an effort to be home during the afternoon nap or else she'll just catnap in the car and then not at all at home, not getting enough sleep and then being cranky at night. and if we're not home for her morning nap then she gets overtired and i have a hard time with sleep in the afternoon and it's all downhill. she's definately become less flexible these days.

This is what is starting to happen with us. I feel like she is missing out on sleep because she is constantly cat napping, here was our day:

7:00 - woke up, nursed and went for a walk at the beach. She slpt in the stroller for about 45 min. to an hour UNTIL we had to wake her to put her in her car seat.

9:30 - 12:00 - trip to Trader Joes, bath, another feeding, play time, will not go back to sleep

12:00 - 12:45 - another feeding, trip to VONS, leave for the afternoon to family's home, 45 minutes away - slept on the way UNTIL we woke her again getting her out of the car.

12:45 - 5:00 - play time with the family (no chance of sleep )

5:00 - another feeding, on the road home and another 45 minute nap, but tired enough that we successfully made the transfer ...still napping now (6:00)

Now my question is, do we let her sleep as long as she needs now even though it is technically only an hour from her bedtime? My worry is that she will wake up refreshed and ready for action at 10:00 or so? I guess we will see.
Thanks for all the replies and the "routines", it has really helped.

[candelaria80]

Originally Posted by akind1

We go with the flow, and DS has set his own routine. I prefer to call it a routine and not a schedule since it is really the order of events rather than a time. We are out and about too alot and I am not above interrupting a nap or delaying one if I need to go somewhere. He usually will just go bck to sleep in the car. our day is like this

6-7 wake up, eat
7-8 diaper change play
8-9 or 10 - natural nap - he usually falls back to sleep while playing on the floor
10 - wake up, eat
10-12 or 1 - awake time
1 - eat
1-2 or 3 - sometimes 4! - nap time (this one we lay him down for, unless we are out and he just falls asleep)
4 - eat
4-6 or 7 awake time
7-9 he cluster feeds during this time and eventually
8-10 - sleeps through to 6 or 7, although he may wake up around 3 or 4 for cuddles or to nurse, but not always.

and this follows usually if we are out and about too. Yesterday he slept a lot more because we kept him up late on Friday to go see a band (he was the only baby or child and we got strange looks, but whatever - he slept between sets and was happy the rest of the time - he finally gave up and slept around 11:30)

Every baby is different - some thrive on a really strict schedule, others not so much - I like teaching him to adapt - that he doesn't need to sleep or eat only in this place, under these circumstances, at this time - but maybe I'm not teaching him. perhaps he was born that way?

Thanks for sharing your routine, it actually is a lot like ours when we are home.
I also like the idea of adaptability, I think it is such an under-valued trait to have and teach (if it can be taught, another disscussion I suppose). I do however, struggle with what I have always heard, that children thrive on predictability and routine.
I have seen both extremes gone wrong (IMO) though, so I guess it is all about balance.
thanks again!

[JordanKX]

We have a routine, but i like to think that it came from DS naturally. I'm totally flexible with what he wants to do - I don't put him down at a specific time, it just happens that pretty much every day at 10:30, he starts getting cranky and wants a nap. Because I work from home, I try to schedule my outings during his awake time, just because he naps so much better when he's home. He'll sleep being worn, but rarely I'm somewhere that I can wear him for an hour.
If anything is going on with company, naps and going to sleep are out. He is super social and Will.Not.Sleep if people are awake having fun in the next room.

Normally something like...
8am - wake up, lazy play
9am - bkfst, floor play or morning walk around
10:30-11:30 - nap
11:30on.... whatever. Shopping. yard-work. play play play.
3:00 - 4:00 - nap
4pm... more whatever play play play.
6:00 - dinner, evening walk
7:30 - bath, books, bed
and he'll wake up around 2am and again about 4 or 5 to eat.

[akind1]

for who asked - DS is 5 months old

and I am not sure if adaptability can be taught, but I know for a fact that being over-scheduled and unadaptable can be and I don't think it is a good thing!

He really set his own schedule/routine, I just try to observe it. for a few days he was going down at 8 pm and waking at 4 am and would NOT go back to sleep. Thankfully (For me!) he went back to going to bed around 9-10, this gets us to 5:30 or 6, which is far more reasonable. We are usually so busy in the evenings I haven't really got a bedtime routine going, except for nursing to sleep. I really want one (for my sake, he doesn't seem to need it - yet) - like reading a story, etc.

he doesn't like to sleep in company either. but if he's behind a closed door, he doesn't seem to mind!

[tzs]

Originally Posted by candelaria80

This is what is starting to happen with us. I feel like she is missing out on sleep because she is constantly cat napping, here was our day:

7:00 - woke up, nursed and went for a walk at the beach. She slpt in the stroller for about 45 min. to an hour UNTIL we had to wake her to put her in her car seat.

9:30 - 12:00 - trip to Trader Joes, bath, another feeding, play time, will not go back to sleep

12:00 - 12:45 - another feeding, trip to VONS, leave for the afternoon to family's home, 45 minutes away - slept on the way UNTIL we woke her again getting her out of the car.

12:45 - 5:00 - play time with the family (no chance of sleep )

5:00 - another feeding, on the road home and another 45 minute nap, but tired enough that we successfully made the transfer ...still napping now (6:00)

Now my question is, do we let her sleep as long as she needs now even though it is technically only an hour from her bedtime? My worry is that she will wake up refreshed and ready for action at 10:00 or so? I guess we will see.
Thanks for all the replies and the "routines", it has really helped.

yeah, see that's the thing. she'll nap anywhere but it's the interuptions that are the problem (moving to the carseat, stopping a drive...) yesterday i found myself wondering if i shouldn;t just drive around some more so she could keep sleeping.
i guess if we have a couple "bad" days like that where she's not getting good naps then i'll make an effort to be home more on a subsequent day if she's slipping.
because on one hand i want to be flexible but on the other hand i don't want her sleep to get so messed up that she starts waking up a ton at night (and it's happened. after a recent road trip she went back to waking every 2 hours for like a week. i really had to pull up the reins on the nap routine for a while and we were back to sleeping at night.) it's always a cost-benefit thing for me. like, is it worth it for me to have a crappy night of sleep or not. yk?

[mamadelbosque]

DS2 has to tag along with whatever ds1 & I have planned... playgroups, storytime, etc. he naps in the carseat, or while I hold him (mostly this), so where we are doesn't really matter. DS1 is in the midst of dropping his nap - he naps probably 3-5 days of the week, and the rest he goes without... DS2 has no schedule as yet, what-so-ever... mostly he's asleep by 9pm or so, but sometiems not.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by tzs

babies are amazing!

i've found that my 7 mo creates her own schedule which is surprisingly on track with that sleep book i read when she was tiny.
i think the author had recommended pushing bedtimes way up (from 10/11pm to 8/9 pm) and i was reluctant thinking i'd lose sleep in the morning. well, i didn;t hav eto make the decision because right at that age point she just started going to bed at 8/9pm.

anyway, i've found that as we've gotten older i've had to become more focused on her "schedule." that i really have to make an effort to be home during the afternoon nap or else she'll just catnap in the car and then not at all at home, not getting enough sleep and then being cranky at night. and if we're not home for her morning nap then she gets overtired and i have a hard time with sleep in the afternoon and it's all downhill. she's definately become less flexible these days.

that said, i try to keep a balance. if i can schedule my day around her naps i will. but if there's something we need to be at at a set time then we adapt. if we're going to a late dinner she can sleep in the stroller and it's not the end of the world. i figure i have to enjoy whatever flexibility we have while we can. it;s easy to tote around a napping babe but you can't do it with a 5 year old and expect them to be happy campers

What is the name of the sleep book that you read?

[jillmamma]

Originally Posted by mamadelbosque

DS2 has to tag along with whatever ds1 & I have planned... playgroups, storytime, etc. he naps in the carseat, or while I hold him (mostly this), so where we are doesn't really matter. DS1 is in the midst of dropping his nap - he naps probably 3-5 days of the week, and the rest he goes without... DS2 has no schedule as yet, what-so-ever... mostly he's asleep by 9pm or so, but sometiems not.

My Marissa has to do the same thing with 2 older siblings. She is only 3 months, so we don't have much of a schedule yet, except that at night she is usually out for the night at 10:30, wakes at 2:30, then again at 6:00 to eat. Daytime, though, no real pattern yet that I have recognized. Amazing how these ones with the big brothers/sisters learn to sleep anywhere!

[candelaria80]

Originally Posted by tzs

yeah, see that's the thing. she'll nap anywhere but it's the interuptions that are the problem (moving to the carseat, stopping a drive...) yesterday i found myself wondering if i shouldn;t just drive around some more so she could keep sleeping.
i guess if we have a couple "bad" days like that where she's not getting good naps then i'll make an effort to be home more on a subsequent day if she's slipping.
because on one hand i want to be flexible but on the other hand i don't want her sleep to get so messed up that she starts waking up a ton at night (and it's happened. after a recent road trip she went back to waking every 2 hours for like a week. i really had to pull up the reins on the nap routine for a while and we were back to sleeping at night.) it's always a cost-benefit thing for me. like, is it worth it for me to have a crappy night of sleep or not. yk?

That's exactly what we did today, only one outing (after her morning nap) and now home for the day.
I do the same thing, BTW when she falls asleep outside the house, I have walked around the park for 2 hours before so she could get a good nap in.

[tzs]

Originally Posted by busymama77

What is the name of the sleep book that you read?

well, i've gotten banned before for mentioning it b/c apparently it's pro CIO. i honestly didn't know b/c at the age i read it for it only talked about timing of naps and timing of bedtimes. it's too bad b/c the timing of naps the book recommends saved us. my babe had not taken a real nap to speak of before we started doing a morning nap 1.5-2 hours after waking.

now that i've read further just for my own info (we've got no real issues right now) once you get into the older months the guy does start talking about CIO. i really think you can take the good science from the book and make your own decision to ignore the CIO but oh well.

[Critty]

We used to just go with the flow, but now DD is older (11 months) we have had to reign in the spontaneity and just follow her lead. We still put her down when she is tired, no scheduled nap time, but she usually has a short nap in the morning, a longer one in the aft and goes to sleep between 7:30 and 8 and wakes up just before 8 a.m.

If we venture outside of that schedule, she will be out of whack for a few days. So we try to be flexible, but still give her the structure she needs.