Would you still homebirth..??? - Page 3

[RedOakMomma]

5gifts, thank you for posting more about your feelings and motivation in posting this thread. Like I said, I don't think it would bother me so much without my personal baggage and experiences.

If you think there could be something wrong, even though the tests aren't showing anything, then do yourself the favor of having help with you when this baby is born. Midwife at home or at the hospital--just someone. You don't know what, if any, preventions or help could save the life of a child, but take it from me--if you think something is wrong, and you don't act on it, and something DOES go wrong...it's very hard to work past that. Even in a bad outcome, as there was with James in the end, there is peace in knowing that, as a parent, I did everything I reasonably could to protect him.

I think your baby is probably fine. Really. If things have been going badly for you over the last many months, that could explain a lot of why your mental landscape feels different in this pregnancy than in others. Personally, I've found that there is no real "warning" that happens before tragedy. My three losses have all happened at times in life when everything was sunny, happy, and peaceful. Other times, when I was depressed, or anxious, or worried about the worst? Nuthin. It was just me, consumed with my own worries and trapped in a mental state that wouldn't let up. Didn't mean that something bad was about to happen.

Best of luck to you. Please update us all when the baby is born.

[*MamaJen*]

Do you think you might be a little bit depressed now? Because that might explain the feeling of impending doom.

[zoebird]

it is rather snarky to assert that a diagnostic test is the end all and be all--particularly when we know that there can be false outcomes of those tests, false readings of the information, etc.

while diagnostic tests can be helpful, intuition can tell a person a lot.

for years, my friend had major stomach issues. every diagnostic test came back with nothing. yet she kept seeking out opinions. finally, a doctor told her she was depressed and medicated her for that. but the pain continued.

finally, it was discovered that she had advanced stomach cancer. she died within a year of the diagnosis. "if only it had been caught sooner!" was the chant.

what is ironic is that she told her doctors--including the one who prescribed medication for depression--that she was pretty sure she had a cancer growing, or something serious--but they couldn't find it on any test. so when it was finally discovered--too late--she was pretty ticked with those doctors.

so, diagnostic tests arent' everything. they miss things.

flip side, sometimes they find things that aren't real. one friend was told her child would ahve downs syndrome. she prepped for a downs syndrome baby in every way--learning about it, joining the community, gathering resources. baby was born 100% normal. diagnostic test wasn't accurate.

this is nto to say hold onto feelings of impending doom. or that tests aren't valuable.

btu they aren't the end all and be all. they are part of the picture. if you fear that there is a problem, work to find out what it is or may be--even if that means going with people's instincts on the matter (and a lot of good doctors have good instincts and know of good diagnostic tests to back that up). even if it means just trusting your intuition until you get an answer that makes sense.

and at the end of the day, you make the choices that you make based on the information that you have. you do your best, and that's all you can do.

[honey-lilac]

Didn't read the replies, but I couldn't not reply.

I don't choose where to birth due to any statements I am making or want to make. I think one should birth where one feels comfortable and safe and where they feel they should be. I have had a birth center birth, then a UC, and am planning a homebirth right now - but if it turns out that my baby will be having special needs that make hospital birth seem like a good choice, I would/will be going to the hospital. If I wasn't completely comfortable with the labor setting it would interfere with my ability to labor. If it seemed as if the baby would benefit from extra help at birth, I would want people around me to help - that's what they're there for. Homebirth/UC/etc is for "normal" births, healthy moms and babies, etc. Of course, things happen in the best of situations, we all know that, there are no guarantees - but if I *knew* ahead of time that my child would need resus etc I would be in the hospital. With as many supportive people as possible - supportive doctors, doulas, family, whatever it took to make it as natural/good a birth as possible.

[JennTheMomma]

Originally Posted by thefreckledmama

The bolded part is what I would be especially concerned with. In light of that, I don't think I could homebirth to stand up for the principle that homebirth is safe, with the variables you've outlined.

My personal thoughts on homebirth (and I know not everyone shares them precisely), is that homebirth IS safe, in most situations...but there ARE situations and conditions that birthing in a home setting with a midwife is NOT the best course of action. There ARE legitimate situations where a hospital birth-with midwife or OB-IS what is needed and the appropriate choice.

I think that when getting into the mindset of home birthing to prove principles or make a point when it's not the best/safest option, is when we start venturing into a gray area that then leaves home birth open to more intense scrutiny, giving critics the ammunition they need to argue against it on a widespread level.

I completely agree.

[tireesix]

I felt really weird about my 3rd baby and home birthing, really wasn't sure about any of it and I really didn't connect with her, I was sure something bad was going to happen.

In one sense, everything turned out ok, in another, it didn't. Birth was perfect, at home, unplanned UC, however, 8 days later we were in hospital because she had developed a UTI (although they suspected meningitis). After the hospital event, all my weird feelings settled down. I don't know, maybe my intuition was right??????

Anyway, if you are concerned about the baby, maybe go with the hospital.

[Apple Girl]

I'd go with a hospital birth. If nothing else, it will calm your anxiety about the situation. Since you mention a good rapport with the OB, things will probably be fine.