Pre-bedtime chaos... - Page 2

[crunchy_mommy]

DS has never slept through the night (except one time when he was sick). Up until 9-10mos old he woke every 45-90mins, and then around 11mos when we switched to the later bed time he started sleeping 2-6 hours straight.

He sleeps in the room with us. He will ONLY sleep if I am right beside him (so no putting him to bed & then sneaking out). When he wakes at night he gets a little fussy but goes right back to sleep (often without having ever opened his eyes) as long as I nurse him. If I try to let him settle himself or DH tries to calm him etc. he won't go back to sleep, he'll just scream until I nurse him & then it takes a lot more nursing to get him back to sleep.

We give him a bath if he's really wound up (but it's not every night). Then we do snack, stories, DH does diaper & brush teeth, lights out, nurse to sleep. Only often though there is no "sleep" after that, unless we time everything just right. If he's not tired yet (or if he's overtired) then he just stays awake indefinitely. And he doesn't get tired at the same time every night. Some nights it's 10pm but more often it's 11-11:30pm that he'll actually fall asleep.

The storyboard idea is great & he does have pretty good comprehension but I'm not sure he'd really grasp this abstract concept quite yet. He doesn't understand what "sleep" is, or what "tired" is. I will definitely have to talk to him more about it during the day.

Now he is napping once again (3:30pm)... his earlier nap was only an hour or so. Often he takes shorter naps than he should and I'm not quite sure why. He'll wake up happy but I know he should've slept longer, but he won't go back to sleep (I try rocking, humming, nursing, singing, etc. but he's just UP at that point). I could see only letting him take 1 nap IF it was a good 1.5-2 hours or longer, but if he's only napping an hour or so, then that's just not enough rest to get him through the day.

First thing in the morning we open all the blinds, get a new diaper, have breakfast (though he's not really into breakfast, he only has a bite or two, he really only eats dinner)... then I shower & we usually go somewhere (story hour or the playground or errands). I guess although we don't really have strict routines & I don't even actually think of it as a routine, we do tend to do the same things in the same order day after day, morning and night.

[marispel]

Hmm. I'm not very crunchy at all and I get in trouble for some of my mainstream comments, but I like this support group and so I continue on and try to be careful of other mama's and their beliefs.

At 15 months I remember my DS going through a "i'm not ready to sleep phase". He sleeps in his own crib and he would just play and talk and jump and what not for 10-30 minutes. When he started fussing we would go to him with a bottle and sing/rock and hope that he would fall asleep. It was just a "phase" for him.

We set up a bedtime routine for him very early in his life. Every night around 7:30 we start his bath. DH does his bath while I get his room ready...it's a wonderful time for them to bond too. He plays a bit in the bath...sometimes we use soap, sometimes not..just depends on the day, but he always gets a bath as part of our routine! Then we go jammies, diapers and soft music. The lights are dim and he drinks a bottle while I read a few books to him. Then he goes in his crib to settle. If he jumps up for play time, he plays in his crib. If he fusses, then we rub his back and try to get him to lay down, but he stays in his crib. He is usually tired and so it's just working out the last bit of energy.

NOW...I will say, that there are days when DS only naps for an hour...but unless he is sick, he doesn't nap after 3pm. If he went down late for a nap then we'll adjust as needed, but we really try to stick to the 3pm.

After reading your posts...it just seems like you are all over the place with naps, nighttime sleeping, nursing, co-sleeping. DS seems like he is running the show. IDK - at 15 months - I would think he is capable of STTN as long as he is getting his calories in during the day...he shouldn't need to nurse at night. It seems like a habit to me that could need a little changing (ooops...that's not crunchy..but my honest opinion).

Sorry for the long response.

[crunchy_mommy]

LOL it's OK, I didn't even realize I was "crunchy" until I spent a lot of time on a mainstream parenting board!

Originally Posted by marispel

After reading your posts...it just seems like you are all over the place with naps, nighttime sleeping, nursing, co-sleeping. DS seems like he is running the show.

Hahahaa yup you got that right!!!

He was a very very difficult baby & (obviously) is still a difficult toddler, though less so. I quickly fell into doing whatever it takes to make him happy (or, at least happier) and that was all well & good but I do feel like we are a little... chaotic. I'm OK with him running the show to some extent but I don't think the chaos is good for any of us. I expected him to fall into a routine by now on his own, and he sort of has (finally) but only in terms of predictability, not so much "do this at this time" type of routine.

I'm not sure he could sleep through the night because he really doesn't eat a whole lot of solids & he's very active. But he definitely doesn't need to be waking every 45 minutes.

I have a lot of trouble with routines because I am a very black & white person. If he always needed a nap at, say, 1-3pm, I wouldn't be able to ever do anything during that time. I guess what I'm saying is, if I have a routine I can't be flexible, and I know that sounds ridiculous... Then you throw work into the mix & there's a whole 'nother set of problems.

I think I'm just confusing myself the more I think about this. :sigh

He is still sleeping, it's 5:30pm, so I'm not holding out on an early bedtime tonight.

Maybe I'm just not the right kind of parent for him.

[marispel]

Could eating be the culprit here? If he isn't eating enough during the day, that would cause night wakings and fussiness. Isee your a vegan - is DS a vegan too? What are meals like and snacks?

[crunchy_mommy]

He really only eats normal amounts for dinner. I can get him to eat a couple of bites of breakfast & lunch, and often he'll have a few small snacks, but nothing substantial, he's just not overly interested (though he is slowly eating more). And yes, he is vegan.

Anyway, it seems he is sick now. I think our trouble over the last few days is more related to that than anything else. He was up all night with a fever, poor baby.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

He really only eats normal amounts for dinner. I can get him to eat a couple of bites of breakfast & lunch, and often he'll have a few small snacks, but nothing substantial, he's just not overly interested (though he is slowly eating more). And yes, he is vegan.

Anyway, it seems he is sick now. I think our trouble over the last few days is more related to that than anything else. He was up all night with a fever, poor baby.

Hmm... I think I'd really try and increase his food intake. I know what you're saying because DD was similar. She really didn't eat much of any solids until she hit a year (and that is mostly because she LOVES eggs and that's when we introduced them).

If you're vegan, try and increase "heavier" more filling foods like avocados, sweet potatoes, beans, nut butters, etc. Maybe get creative and try different ways of cooking them so he'll eat more. I know with DD she can be pretty picky about certain ways things are cooked (like she won't eat raw spinach because it's too hard for her to chew but she loves cooked spinach with sauce). We've had to experiment a lot and some nights she doesn't eat the same as us. But that's mostly because she doesn't know how to chew everything (like the afore mentioned spinach, which we eat A LOT).

Also, I "trick" her by giving healthy sweets every now and then (pb cookies with bananas in them instead of sugar and I sneak in stuff like oatmeal, flaxseed meal, coconut etc.).

Also, yeah, if he's sick it's sooo not the time to start! I'm sorry he's feeling so poorly. DD's sleep is all over the place when she's sick or teething.

[crunchy_mommy]

Well he will eat pretty much anything, he just isn't interested earlier in the day. He loves beans, potatoes, bananas, apples, avocado, chili, PB, hummus, seriously I've never seen him NOT want a particular food. But he nurses frequently in the morning... I think he just prefers nursing than eating solid food at that time of day. He is very solid so I'm not too worried about his eating... I'm sure when he's ready he will increase his intake more.

But yeah, I am putting everything on hold anyway 'til he's feeling better. He's spent more time sleeping than awake yesterday & so far today. He's burning up, I hate when he's sick, I feel so bad for him.