My DD's been in daycare for the last 4 months. She had a really tough transition for the first month or two, but now she loves going (she's 15 months now). I love the daycare.
DH wants his sister to come work for us as our nanny. She would be available at the beginning of June. His main arguments are that it would be less work for us - we wouldn't need to prepare DD's food for daycare and we wouldn't need to clean the house or prepare our own dinner most nights. He also apparently feels that it's more important for DD to be close to and cared for by a family member.
It breaks my heart to think about pulling DD from daycare. She is loved by the teachers (and she loves them - she knows the sign for "I love you" and does it to them sometimes!), and she's happy around the other kids and I think it's a great environment for her to be in (to be honest, I think it's better for her than when she was home with me).
Add to that the fact that I have never met DH's sister (she seems nice and responsibe from pictures of her and conversations we've had) and she is only working here as a nanny in order to become a permanent resident. She's a trained nurse, but doesn't have any specific training in childcare, not does she have a lot of experience being the sole care provider for a toddler (she's helped look after her other nieces and nephews, etc. but the mom was generally around during the day).
DH and I have been arguing about this for ages - neither one of us is willing to give in. Am I being unreasonable? Why would I want to pull DD from a situation that's so good for her and she seems to happy to be in, just to keep her home all day. I don't see a nanny as being less work for me - then I have to worry about paying her / submitting her taxes, etc. I have to worry more about child development stuff and finding activities for DD to do with the nanny during the day, I have to worry about being sure that the nanny is doing everything I want with her during the day (i.e. no tv and always getting outside for several hours). I have to worry about doing a lot more child-proofing around the house and making a more child-friendly environment for her (it's "decent" right now, but not as good as I would like it to be if she's going to be spending all of her time at home). And so on... There's so much that stresses me out about having a nanny. And the fact that she's a relative... maybe that should make me feel better, but it actually worries me more.
So... is it really that wonderful to have a nanny?? Way less work than daycare? (Honestly, I thought we were doing really well - the house was generally cleaner than before we had DD and we managed to cook dinner most nights and still got a break on the weekends...) Would you pull your kid from a great daycare situation to try out a really good nanny? If things don't work out, I can't just put DD back into daycare... she was on the waiting list for a year and a half...
I'm in agony over this decision, it's causing huge problems from me and DH to the point where I just feel like leaving him. I feel like he doesn't really think hiring his sister is truly the best thing for DD, but he won't admit that. I feel like he just wants to hire her because that's what his parents, sisters, aunts, and culture all expect him to do. While those things are important, they're not as important as DD's happines, in my opinion. Then from his point of view - DD will probably be perfectly happy with his sister, so why not give it a try? It is what we had committed to doing before DD was born, but then his sister wasn't available when I needed to go back to work, so we put DD in daycare. Maybe I'm being unfair, but when my instincts are telling me to keep DD in daycare, it's hard to do anything else.
Sorry this got so long... thanks for reading.
DH wants his sister to come work for us as our nanny. She would be available at the beginning of June. His main arguments are that it would be less work for us - we wouldn't need to prepare DD's food for daycare and we wouldn't need to clean the house or prepare our own dinner most nights. He also apparently feels that it's more important for DD to be close to and cared for by a family member.
It breaks my heart to think about pulling DD from daycare. She is loved by the teachers (and she loves them - she knows the sign for "I love you" and does it to them sometimes!), and she's happy around the other kids and I think it's a great environment for her to be in (to be honest, I think it's better for her than when she was home with me).
Add to that the fact that I have never met DH's sister (she seems nice and responsibe from pictures of her and conversations we've had) and she is only working here as a nanny in order to become a permanent resident. She's a trained nurse, but doesn't have any specific training in childcare, not does she have a lot of experience being the sole care provider for a toddler (she's helped look after her other nieces and nephews, etc. but the mom was generally around during the day).
DH and I have been arguing about this for ages - neither one of us is willing to give in. Am I being unreasonable? Why would I want to pull DD from a situation that's so good for her and she seems to happy to be in, just to keep her home all day. I don't see a nanny as being less work for me - then I have to worry about paying her / submitting her taxes, etc. I have to worry more about child development stuff and finding activities for DD to do with the nanny during the day, I have to worry about being sure that the nanny is doing everything I want with her during the day (i.e. no tv and always getting outside for several hours). I have to worry about doing a lot more child-proofing around the house and making a more child-friendly environment for her (it's "decent" right now, but not as good as I would like it to be if she's going to be spending all of her time at home). And so on... There's so much that stresses me out about having a nanny. And the fact that she's a relative... maybe that should make me feel better, but it actually worries me more.
So... is it really that wonderful to have a nanny?? Way less work than daycare? (Honestly, I thought we were doing really well - the house was generally cleaner than before we had DD and we managed to cook dinner most nights and still got a break on the weekends...) Would you pull your kid from a great daycare situation to try out a really good nanny? If things don't work out, I can't just put DD back into daycare... she was on the waiting list for a year and a half...
I'm in agony over this decision, it's causing huge problems from me and DH to the point where I just feel like leaving him. I feel like he doesn't really think hiring his sister is truly the best thing for DD, but he won't admit that. I feel like he just wants to hire her because that's what his parents, sisters, aunts, and culture all expect him to do. While those things are important, they're not as important as DD's happines, in my opinion. Then from his point of view - DD will probably be perfectly happy with his sister, so why not give it a try? It is what we had committed to doing before DD was born, but then his sister wasn't available when I needed to go back to work, so we put DD in daycare. Maybe I'm being unfair, but when my instincts are telling me to keep DD in daycare, it's hard to do anything else.
Sorry this got so long... thanks for reading.
