Kindy presentation - would you allow your chid to participate?

[SunshineJ]

We received a letter home last week from the school's guidance counselor about what she was working with regarding the kindergartener kids this session. They had spent their time that day talking about the whole "good touch/bad touch" information. Meh, not thrilled as we've already covered that, but in the scope of having their elementary guidance counselor talk about it DH and I are fine with it. This could be crucial information for some children and we recognize and respect that. However, included in the letter was the tidbit that the following day there would be a representative from the Sexual Assault Crisis Center coming to talk to the children as well. We chose to keep dd out of the presentation until we had more information about this, which was provided later in the week. The letter we got later states "The focus of the program for K-4 is to make students aware of sexual assault/abuse and give them the tools they need to keep themselves safe".

Thoughts?

[Limabean1975]

I would want to know exactly what they are going to talk about, what kind of language they will use, etc. Perhaps you can directly contact the Crisis Centre to find out more detail?

[liliaceae]

I wouldn't.

[eepster]

I'd need more info. Though it's important for kids to know that they are in control of their bodies, it is often done poorly. I'd want to know about the instructors qualifications and approach.

[choli]

I would definitely want my child to attend, and can't think of any reason why i might not.

[WantRice]

Just keep in mind that all the other children who are attending will be talking about it in the classroom and on the playground. It might be better for your child to hear things directly from the teachers and the Crisis Center rep than only from the other kids.

[lauren]

I'd rather have my child aware of this information than not aware. Many children will not hear about this at home.

[feminist~mama]

Is there any way you could attend the presentation too? That way you'd know what was talked about and could clarify/refute if needed!

[peaceful_mama]

hmmmm I would need more info than that. I am big on not making my kids scared of *everything*....that said, I have told them *myself* the proper words for their parts, and that these are parts that should stay inside their clothes and not be touched by other people. I've left it at that--after all, what else do they need to know? I don't want it going on as play between children *or* as something an adult might ask...

[JL83]

Because of second hand information and it likely being followed up on by the teacher, I'd want my child to attend.

BUT... If at all possible, I would want to attend too to find out what she's being taught.

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by lauren

I'd rather have my child aware of this information than not aware. Many children will not hear about this at home.

I agree with this, however, to be honest I'm not sure having someone from the Sexual Assault Crisis Center is really the best approach, kwim? Our dd has the age appropriate information she needs on this one, but I realize not every child does. We totally have no issue with the in-class presentation from the guidance counselor and think it's important for children to be aware of such things. DH suspects they're coming into the school to look for children who exhibit signs of sexual abuse, and while I'm thinking that's probably a bit paranoid, if something obvious jumped out at them I'm sure they'd notice (and I'd certainly HOPE that they would!). Part of the problem I'm having with it is that I don't know that people coming from a Sexual Abuse Crisis Center, ones who deal with some of the ugliest of ugly in violent acts, is really the best person to present this type of information to my children, kwim? Then again, the people who are doing this may never deal with that side of things, or be very "child friendly" in their approach. At this point I don't know. I do think I'll be contacting the school or center to get more information before deciding to let her attend.

[Aubergine68]

The Sexual Assault Center locally, which I have volunteered with, has abuse prevention education as part of their mandate. They provide counselling and support to victims of abuse, and abuse-prevention education programs for children, for teens and for adults. Most of the educational budget/staff time is directed towards programs for children and young people.

I would honestly have no concerns about having my children attend such a presentation, assuming that it is age-appropriate, as it would be here. I really want them to be part of a culture in which sexual abuse, assault, harrassment etc. is recognized and not tolerated and I believe that such programs do help to move society in that direction.


ETA the centre in my town actually changed the name of the center so Sexual Assault Centre was not the main title, just because they did feel that many who were not familiar with their work were put off by imagining that all they did was crisis work and that therefore the centre could have nothing to offer them.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

Part of the problem I'm having with it is that I don't know that people coming from a Sexual Abuse Crisis Center, ones who deal with some of the ugliest of ugly in violent acts, is really the best person to present this type of information to my children, kwim? Then again, the people who are doing this may never deal with that side of things, or be very "child friendly" in their approach.

It's most likely someone who has a GREAT deal of training and experience with children: some one who works as a counselor with children who've been sexually assaulted, moms of kids who've sexual assaulted, adult survivors of childhood sexual assault.

It's most likely some one who deals "with that side of things" every single day.

[aslyn]

no I wouldn't..Our family has already been down this road with a very close friend/extended family member and it was extremely painful for all of us..my kids all learned then about the good touch/bad touch and our bodies are our own..I think its up to parents to talk to their kids at the younger ages.

[GoBecGo]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

I agree with this, however, to be honest I'm not sure having someone from the Sexual Assault Crisis Center is really the best approach, kwim? Our dd has the age appropriate information she needs on this one, but I realize not every child does. We totally have no issue with the in-class presentation from the guidance counselor and think it's important for children to be aware of such things. DH suspects they're coming into the school to look for children who exhibit signs of sexual abuse, and while I'm thinking that's probably a bit paranoid, if something obvious jumped out at them I'm sure they'd notice (and I'd certainly HOPE that they would!). Part of the problem I'm having with it is that I don't know that people coming from a Sexual Abuse Crisis Center, ones who deal with some of the ugliest of ugly in violent acts, is really the best person to present this type of information to my children, kwim? Then again, the people who are doing this may never deal with that side of things, or be very "child friendly" in their approach. At this point I don't know. I do think I'll be contacting the school or center to get more information before deciding to let her attend.

Who would be better? Someone who has no real knowledge or experience but relies on a curriculum? I'm not sure i get the objection to people who know a whole lot about sexual crime educating kids on how to protect themselves...? I mean, if it's part of their remit they're very likely to have training on HOW to educate kids in an age-appropriate way - you should be able to check that out. At the very least i'd contact the centre and find out what is going to be discussed with the kids before i decided anything. I would only prevent my DD from going if i felt it was scaremongering in tone in a way which was unacceptable to me (actually rape is pretty scary and not telling them about it won't lessen the blow if it happens to them).

Maybe your husband is right. I don't think that's a bad thing either.

I too want my kids to grow up in a society which recognises, discusses and refuses to tolerate sexual crimes. I don't see how not talking to our kids about it can let us achieve that.

[rabrog]

I can't think of anything I would keep my child from that happens in the school in a classroom setting. Their friends will be talking about it and I will not have DC feel like the odd child out because they were not present and don't know the information as it was presented.

If there is something I was concerned about, I'd sit in on the presentation.

Jenn

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo

I too want my kids to grow up in a society which recognizes, discusses and refuses to tolerate sexual crimes. I don't see how not talking to our kids about it can let us achieve that.

But it has been discussed...

1. The OP has discussed this with her child, then
2. the teacher discussed this with her child, then
3. the guidance counselor has discussed this with her child, now
4. the Sexual Assault Crisis Center want to discuss it with her child.

Her child seems to be "aware"; there can come a point at which awareness becomes anxiety.