So sad for my son

[lovingmylife]

I have a sweet and loving almost 4.5 year old little boy. He has been through a lot lately. First both of my grandparents died within a month of each other. Then my dhs mom who was 50 and so close with my son died unexpectedly this valentines day. The two of them had the sweetest most loving relationship and he spent so much time with her. Then dhs grandpa died a few weeks ago and they were pretty close. Lately my son has had so much fear about things involving injuries. If he even sees a band-aid, cut, cast, he is overcome with fear and then talks about it all day long. He keeps seeing random people in the store and fears them too. Things like the color of their hair (white and gray) scare him so bad I dont even want to take him anywhere. We do a co op preschool and I am with him the whole time and now all the other moms scare him so badly he doesnt want to go back. Today he told me 4 times that he doesnt like himself. This is tearing me up because it consumes his mine all day and it is so so so obsessive. He says stuff like this over 500 times a day. We talked to his doctor (my son was telling the doctor please help me with my bad memories, please please) We are seeing a child counselor mid may. I am so depressed and heartbroken for my baby. He was even hitting himself in the face over and over to "get rid of the bad thoughts" Also we have a new baby coming any day now. I dont know what to do. I reassure him and give him so much love all day long but nothing is helping him. Please please can anyone help me,

[JessicaS]

I am so sorry for your losses and your sweet boy. It sounds like the only thing that will help is a lot of counseling and time.

[Anglyn]

Did he do those things before or only since the losses? Because a lot of it sounds like it could have a root in some kind of mental disorder, which therapy could help. However, it could also just be the grief.

Everyone he loves dies, so he doesn't love himself, that's the fear talking. Poor baby. So sorry, and with a new baby coming, how horribly stressful for you both!
I hope the therapist works, if it isn't, try another therapist, sometimes it takes a few to find the right fit. Good luck!

[proudmamanow]

I am not a professional by any means, but have read a lot about anxiety because my older dd struggles with it . This sounds to me a lot like anxiety brought on by trauma...maybe PTSD? In any case, there a lot of wonderful resources on anxiety available for parents & kids. I would start with Tamar Chansky's Freeing Your Child From Anxiety. If you look this up on Amazon it will recommend a bunch of other books including some for kids that might be helpful.


Huge ((((((hugs)))))) to you and your little boy. You have both been through so much lately...and all this while pregnant too. You sound like a caring, thoughtful, sensitive mama! Try to make sure you can get some alone time too, if at all possible, as all this can be very hard on parents!

[muttmom92]

Your poor son. That's a lot for him to have to deal with. I don't have anything else to add except that I'm glad you're starting counseling. I just didn't want to read and not reply.

Good luck.

[liliaceae]

Oh I'm so sorry. I'm glad you're seeing a counselor, I agree that will be the best thing you can do for him.

[illumini]

I don't have any advice but I wanted to give you a hug and wish you luck.

[mamadebug]

I am so sorry you guys are going through this. It sounds like anxiety to me.
My son is 5.5 y.o. now, but last year when he was 4.5 y.o., he started really exhibiting a number of symptoms of anxiety. Going to a child psychologist has REALLY helped. At home, we found it helpful to DS to talk about the cause of his anxiety and draw "picture stories" about it. Is there anyway you could get into the therapist sooner? It is so heart breaking to know your little one is carrying all of that inside him. to both of you.