S/O: What don't you want your public school presenting to your DC

[eepster]

Both the thread about the military band and the thread about kindergarten sexual assault educational presentation got me thinking that much of this is about a deeper issue. It's about what we feel is being presented inaccurately or biasedly to our children. This touches on a bunch of other threads we've had in the past, too. It touches on religious content in schools; saying the pledge of allegiance; celebrating certain holidays; providing health checks, screenings, and vax; what is thought to be healthy food; and many other things. If you start getting into some of the concerns over academic practices (sight reading vs phonics, or evolution vs creation) it gets really complex.

It is amazing that public schools function all things considered.

I'm kind of wondering what has been presented at your DC's school that you wish hadn't been or that you had been notified about.


I'll start off with being somewhat annoyed that a dentist came to DS's school without my knowing. We use Welleda children's toothpaste that has no saccharine, fluoride or sodium laureth sulfate (which triggers DS's eczema) in it. He was given a small tube of conventional toothpaste that he was excited about and used before I realized he'd taken it upstairs to the bathroom.

I just wish the school had told me ahead of time that a dentist would be doing a presentation.

[Linda on the move]

I'm very mellow about things. I want my kids to exposed to different points of view. Our school has always been respectful, but I like the diversity of opinion.

[raksmama]

I hate it when they bring fast foods into school!
I know some kids brings it in and that can not be controlled, but my sons school has a pancake breakfast once a year and the pancakes are from McDonalds! next eyar they will sell pop in my son's middle.

[Llyra]

I want commercial advertising kept out of the schools.

I'm not so worried about health/lifestyle/sexuality education. If my kids are presented at school with misinformation, we can address that easily enough at home and through the church. We believe in comprehensive, liberal sex education, so we don't really conflict with the schools on that point. I don't worry too much either about patriotic stuff, or about teaching kids about holidays from a multicultural perspective. But I would be seriously annoyed at any religious content that seemed to be promoting one particular brand of religion. I also would have a problem with any health screening or vaccination or anything like that that occurred without my knowledge or consent.

But I think the thing about public schools is that they're public, and they are therefore going to present children with the most "mainstream" perspective on nearly every issue and topic. I think that to a certain extent, that's unavoidable.

But allowing corporate advertising into the schools, and letting corporate agendas rule the curriculum, and offering corporate-sponsored food programs, seriously annoys me.

[mommy2maya]

Originally Posted by jalilah

I hate it when they bring fast foods into school!
I know some kids brings it in and that can not be controlled, but my sons school has a pancake breakfast once a year and the pancakes are from McDonalds! next eyar they will sell pop in my son's middle.

I can't see complaining about a once a YEAR option. There are some schools that have fast food options daily or weekly. Once a year is a treat, and would not bother me at all. It is when it is a regular occurrence and moves from treat to everyday item that would get me upset.

[SoCaliMommy]

I don't think the school should offer vaccine clinics like they did for the H1N1 vax when it came out, sorry but closing off a whole area after school for people for form a giant line and sending fliers home about how everyone needs the vaccine is crossing a line, If people want it they can either use their health insurance or go to a low cost health clinic someplace to get it.

Other than that i'm pretty much okay with what goes on at my daughter's school.

[SunshineJ]

Honestly I'm pretty ok with most things, but like in the case of sexual abuse education in kindy, I want to know what they're telling my child. As a kid I came home and told my grandma EVERYTHING that happened during the day. After having my own 2, I've realized what a complete anomoly that was - my kids don't tell me much of anything and it drives me nuts! Plus, to be honest, the perceptions and memories of a 5 and 7 year old aren't always accurate. Chances are, if I'm given decent information about what's going on, I'm probably not going to have an issue with it. I don't think vaccinations should be provided in the school, and I don't think any health screenings should either - though I have no issue with providing information on how to obtain such screenings and services for families that are low income.

[CallMeMommy]

I can't see complaining about anything (DS is only in kindy) except DARE and giving out my children's names to military recruiters in high school. Those two things my children will NOT be participating in. I'm also a little peeved that they sent home Boy Scout sign-up info it's not a hill I want to die on so I'm not doing anything about it, just explaining to DS why we won't be participating.

[ecoteat]

Religion. I was outraged when my friend's daughter came home from kindergarten explaining the resurrection around Easter. When pressed about what she actually learned and from whom, she drew a picture of a crucified Jesus (with a big smile on his face!), which she certainly hadn't seen at home.

I know that's not a problem for a lot of people, but for this atheist mama, while I want dd to be aware of the religious influence in our culture, *I* want to know what she's being taught about it. And then there's the obvious church vs. state issue. But that doesn't mean there isn't some religious instruction happening in public schools.

[sewingmommy]

Honestly if I was worried about what my kid would learn at school I wouldn't send him/her to school

[AFWife]

This is why we're choosing to homeschool.

I don't like elementary school children being taught sexual education/orientation. Even the sexual abuse thing bothers me. A friend had an issue at her nephew's school over it. Her nephew was told, "If ANYONE touches you where your bathing suit covers it's ABUSE." Her daughter went to school the next year and she told the counselor that she was NOT okay with that kind of presentation because she still helped her daughter bathe.
She also had an issue with her daughter being taught about tattling. Her daughter came to the conclusion that unless she was physically assaulted she wasn't supposed to tell. So, being shown someone's private parts was not a reason to tell a teacher. She now homeschools.

Personally, I went to a private school until 3rd and a Christian charter school until half of 6th. Religion was part of class for most of it.

If you're going to cover the basics of most religions I see no problem with it in public schools. In the case of the girl being taught about Easter I'm on the fence.

[CallMeMommy]

Originally Posted by sewingmommy

Honestly if I was worried about what my kid would learn at school I wouldn't send him/her to school

That's a really dismissive statement for those of us who work outside the home full-time (either by choice or necessity) and have no options other than public school.

[Tigerchild]

There's nothing that I've seen in any school that we've not discussed at home first. I'm sure it will happen eventually, but to be blunt, I consider it part and parcel of choosing to send my child to a public school. All curriculum units are posted for all to see on the annoying district webpage (it's clunky, but eventually you can find it). I can immediately get access to all non-academic educational units by asking the goddess of the school, the office manager. I never assumed that I could be passive about stuff like that.

I guess I just assume more than other people that when I send my kids out of the home, I also expect that they will get exposure to ideas that I disagree with, which will put me in the sometimes uncomfortable position of having to talk to them about it. Almost all of the annoying things I have had to deal with have come from other students (Like the kid who told my DD that gay people were bad and liked to hurt children, so that's why they can't get married). Of course, I live in an area that reflects my values. If I lived in, say, and area that wanted to portray America as being divinely excused from practicing genocide because God gave us this country, and wanted to put a Bill Gothard youth seminar in the school--admittedly, I'd go to war.

[amcal]

Originally Posted by ecoteat

Religion. I was outraged when my friend's daughter came home from kindergarten explaining the resurrection around Easter. When pressed about what she actually learned and from whom, she drew a picture of a crucified Jesus (with a big smile on his face!), which she certainly hadn't seen at home.

I know that's not a problem for a lot of people, but for this atheist mama, while I want dd to be aware of the religious influence in our culture, *I* want to know what she's being taught about it. And then there's the obvious church vs. state issue. But that doesn't mean there isn't some religious instruction happening in public schools.

This is an interesting perspective. Because, Easter is about the Resurrection. Without the Resurrection, there would be no Easter.

As a Christian mama with kids in public school, I hate seeing Easter being about bunnies and eggs. I'd rather they skip it all together.

To the OP - I hate how they teach nutrition based on the government food pyramid. My kids know the food pyramid isn't a healthy representation of diet. But, it still drives me batty.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by amcal

This is an interesting perspective. Because, Easter is about the Resurrection. Without the Resurrection, there would be no Easter.

As a Christian mama with kids in public school, I hate seeing Easter being about bunnies and eggs. I'd rather they skip it all together.

I guess they could combine it with the pagan fertility stuff...*shrug* That's the only way (other than cutting it out totally) that it's "fair"

[Sarah W]

I think that there are very few things that I would want to keep out of my child's school I think that exposure to other POV, even ones I don't agree with will benefit my child in the long run.

[CatsCradle]

I guess I just assume more than other people that when I send my kids out of the home, I also expect that they will get exposure to ideas that I disagree with, which will put me in the sometimes uncomfortable position of having to talk to them about it.

Same here. I'm learning that this is the hardest part about parenting: instilling one's own values in one's child despite the mixed signals in the outside world. I believe my DD is exposed to more objectional things just walking down the street in my neighborhood than she will ever be exposed to in school. While discussions with her about these things may be hard, ultimately DH and are responsible for how she processes the information received from various sources. I can't think in terms of compartmentalized parenting (i.e. my parenting stops at the front door and I have no power over her learning until she returns home). If there is no line of communication between the parent and child regarding tough issues, then I can see how things that might be objectional to some parents would pose a problem if those things are being taught in school. But, I strongly believe that my role as a parent is to not shield DD from certain information, but to provide her with a basis as to why I think those things are objectionable. Hopefully as she matures, she will learn to make value judgments in the same way.

I frankly worry more about what she learns from her friends than what she learns in school. Peer pressure (even from neighborhood kids) is, IMO, a much different animal. DH and I have our work cut out for us!

[whiddle]

I don't really object to learning anything as long as it's taught truthfully.

[EFmom]

The D.A.R.E. program. Study after study has shown it to be useless at best. It actually has to be an opt-in program, but most schools disregard that. We keep our kids out.

Most health-related stuff. I don't mind them teaching factual stuff, but I don't want them practicing medicine on my kids. So things like taking BMIs or checking for scoliosis bother me greatly, and we opt out wherever possible. We have a perfectly good pediatrician, with whom we have a relationship. I don't want my kids to feel like they have to let anybody who wants to measure or touch them, etc.

"Patriotism." Because how schools define patriotism and how we define it are two entirely different things.

I also object to corporate influences, the military or police in schools and anything religious other than strictly studying comparative religion.

History is still taught almost entirely from the point of dead white European men, and is wildly inaccurate.

[seashells]

Corporate influence is my real biggie, and that covers the food too.

I support sex ed but I could see there being approaches to it that I would not agree with. But I think I'm fairly mainstream on that, it would have to be an approach that most people would disagree with.

Stranger-danger is not something I particularly like, because my DD is young and it complicates what I teach her. If she were, I dunno, 8 or 10 I think it would be easier for me to say "They teach X at school, but we believe Y." But at age 4 I want DD to understand better about how to use her judgement to choose an adult to help her if needed, and it does really get confusing since she's taught "stranger danger" in other places. (She doesn't even go to school, I'm talking about the YMCA and the library).

I don't like public school encouraging peer orientation but I suspect that's different from the original topic.