advice on starting to transition her to her own bed

[lisavark]

Well, I just bought DD a toddler bed.

I have no expectation that she'll be using it any time soon, but hopefully in the next few years...

I've been talking to DD occasionally over the last couple of months (she's 26 months now) about how when she's old enough and she's ready, someday, she'll sleep in her own bed instead of Mommy's bed. This is along the same lines of how I talk to her about how someday maybe she'll go to school with big kids and ride a yellow school bus, or someday she'll be a grown-up and maybe get married and have a baby in her tummy and have boobies that make milk. Long-term stuff, you know? Anyway, the other day as we were going to bed, DD said to me, "Mommy! I go sleep all by self! In own purple bed!" (Purple is her favorite color.)

Naturally, I thought, well, I better jump on this. Because I really would like to get her out of our bed, or at least night weaned, before we have another baby, and we're kind of holding off on getting pregnant till she seems like she's closer to at least one of those things. But of course she didn't HAVE her own bed. So I found one (a convertible crib/toddler/double bed) on craigslist, and we got it today. Getting an organic mattress for it tomorrow (also from craigslist). Both are barely used (the mattress is from a mom whose two year old son still sleeps with her and never used it...she and I had a good laugh about that when I told her I wanted it for my two year old!) Anyway, so I have no expectation that DD will be sleeping in this bed for even part of the night for a good while. But I figure since she's interested in the idea, I might as well make it available. I opted for the toddler bed rather than another mattress on the floor because she's really into little things that are her size, so I think she'll like it better if it seems like it's sized for her. I'm sure she'll have no problem climbing in and out of it herself.

Whew. Sorry for the long introduction! What I really wanted by posting here was to get feedback on my plan for slowly introducing this whole own-bed thing to her. Here's what I'm thinking:

1. After we have the mattress, I'll take her shopping to pick out her own sheets and blankets for it (all purple, of course ). (I swear I'm doing the nesting I never did when I was pregnant...I never bothered to buy any furniture for her or decorate a nursery...so I'm doing it now. )

2. I'll just let her play on it. I'm guessing she's going to want to pretend to sleep on it since it'll be a fun new toy, so we'll probably do that for quite a while.

3. The bed will stay in our room. I'll probably just ask her occasionally at bedtime if she wants to try to sleep in her own bed. Most likely she will say she wants to but then change her mind after a minute of lying there. I figure she'll keep playing around with the idea of sleeping there like that for a long time...definitely months and maybe a year or so.

4. Eventually maybe she'll fall asleep in her bed? I can't imagine this happening right now.

5. If she wakes in the middle of the night, she can get out of her bed and come into ours, which will be easy since she'll be right there anyway.

6. Someday I suppose she'll want the bed moved into her own room...maybe when she's 13?

So...I'd love thoughts from moms who have done this. Does that sound feasible? Any other fun, gentle transition activities that I haven't thought of? I'm in no hurry to kick her out of our bed, obviously, but it would be nice if she could spend at least part of the night there by the time she's 3-ish.

[foodymama]

My DD is 23 mo. and we have a family bed but DD does have her own toddler bed in her room. I have never tried to have her sleep in it at night because I don't think she is ready yet but she loves playing on her bed and reading books in her bed. I know your DD is older than my DD and I don't know if you are a SAHM or work out of the house or if your DD even still takes naps. But what has worked really well for us is that we started having her sleep in her toddler bed for naps and now she won't even take naps in our bed anymore. She still nurses to sleep for naps and at bed time so I squish in her her little toddler bed with her for nap time. Lol, what a sight!

[Lit Chick]

We just transitioned DS into his big boy bed, and he took to it easily. We have not been co-sleeping for about a year though - he's a boy who needs his space. From our bed to crib took only one night, and then he was so thrilled with the space he never wanted to come back (for a whole night, that is). I think that's why he likes the bed so much - even more room! He has a twin.

The first night, DH slept on the floor until DS was settled - and since then DS has not needed any coddling. We made a very big deal about his bed and his new room, and it is HIS space. Sometimes he will put up a bit of a fight, so we tell him he can do whatever he wants as long as he's in his (very toddler-proofed) room. He'll shut the door and we occasionaly hear him playing for a few minutes before he passes out. I can only imagine what he'll be like as a teenager though since he's already kicking us out of his room. LOL

I also think that the transition was helped by big-bed naps. My parents only have a pack and play, which he outgrew a while ag. He'd been sleeping alone in their king bed for a few months before we made the full night switch.

Another thing - I actually remember when I made a big girl transition. I was already in my own bed, but my mother user to lay with me until I was alseep. When she stopped that, I was majorly bummed (it was a clean, no-warning break) so I self-soothed with a large Raggedy-Ann doll. I cuddled her instead of my mom. If your DS is a cuddle-to-sleep type, perhaps you can get her a special soft toy for her to snuggle with. DS's favorite is a giant elephant (he likes to sleep under it, which is why he prefers stuffed toys to actual mommy and daddy).