Car seat trouble

[babyulu]

Hello,

My baby is so easy and happy, except for in his car seat. He is about 6 and a half months, and is rear facing. I don't like using this word, but he hates his car seat. To the point where I barely leave the house because of it. He loses it beyond control in it and it is installed right and a pretty nice seat!

Everyone has told me their kids changed and were fine in the car as soon as they were forward facing. I need to be able to go places and do things with him for my and his sanity. I can't just be stuck home.

Is it absolutely wrong and dangerous to put his forward facing soon, like in the next month or two? I have heard that there is some pretty great seats with neck support and stuff. I know people who put their kids forward facing at 9 months because the babies hated the seat so much, and it pretty much fixed it.

Don't know what to do. Thanks!

[Ruthe]

First, a Great piece on carseat safety .. when to forward face (and it's not 1 year/20 pounds anymore! even though that is still legal - it is NOT the recommendation anymore - for easy to understand, simple reasons about the way force is applied to your child while forward facing as opposed to the much safer rear facing.)
http://breezymama.com/2010/04/19/rea...when-to-do-it/

So the real problem is, how do you get through this car0seat hating phase?
The first thing to realize is that he will get over it to some extent. Talk to him, play music in the car, keep soft toys out in the car (that he ONLY plays with in the car) and be matter-of-fact and firm about the car seat. Now, and also as he gets older, he will take many of his cues from you about what is normal and acceptable. If you sigh and have resentful feelings when strapping him into his (rear facing) car seat, he will pick up that vibe.
There is no guarantee he'd be happier if restrained forward facing (once the novelty wore off) so it's possible you'd be sacrificing safety for no reason at all.

[BeagleMommy]

My first was a lot like this until we got rid of the Graco infant bucket seat and got a Britax Boulevard. She was still rear facing, of course, but on the trip home from my friend's (state trooper who installed it for me) she fell asleep for the first time in the car since she was a few days old! By the way, she was about 5 months when we got the new car seat.
The other thing I can suggest is Bach's rescue remedy for you and baby if you are comfortable with that.
Hang in there! Now, at three, the only place I can reliably get this same child to nap is in the car seat!

[mamadelbosque]

My DS1 was the same way - from the day we brought him home from the hospital he screamed the entire time he was in the carseat. We turned him FF @15 months. I have mixed feelings about that - it worked, he did stop screaming, but it was a huge safety compromise... and I turned him back around RF ~26 or 27 months shortly before ds2 was born... he's now 37 months and still happilly rear facing. Do *NOT* under any circumstances turn your dc before a year - thats illegal, and extremely, extremely, extremely unsafe and dangerous. After that, well, its still very unsafe and dangerous before about 2-3 to turn them ff.

Car rides with a screaming baby suck, its true. But its bearable, and it will pass... they will get over it. Good luck!!

[littlegreenlady]

My now 6 month old DS also had a very strong aversion to his car seat and did not hesitate to let me know how much.

here are some things that helped us:

- car only soft toys (this is were he discovered tags)
- a mirror so I could see him (helped me relax)
- making him comfortable before strapping him in (dry diaper, blocked sun, not too hot/cold, full belly, made sure his clothes weren't bunched or in some other way bothering him, same with the straps)

- singing. I repeat his one favorite song until he is calm then try something different (also helps me relax, and he can hear my voice so he knows I'm still there)

- keep at it. I forced myself to leave the house regularly no matter how hard it was. We took a short drive to the park, then I wrapped him on me for a nice walk (again helping us both relax). Then I'd feed him, check his diaper, and we drove back home.

- for longer drives being ok with pulling over to reboot.


I hope you are able to find a safe way to make car time a little less intense.

[sapphire_chan]

Also, keep a box of toys next to you and hand them back one at a time. If you give him all the toys at once he's likely to toss them away all at once and have no toys.

[Llyra]

Is he still in an infant seat? Like the bucket style one, that detaches from a base? Reason I ask is that my kids all hated their bucket seats. When I moved them from the bucket to a convertible, they all settled down and started to fall asleep in the car. DS especially was a car seat SCREAMER. I'd seen him go for HOURS on long trips, and it was horrible. Moving him to a convertible didn't make him love the car, but it helped a lot. The position baby is in in a convertible is different, plus the baby rides higher up in most seats, so they can see more.

Putting baby in a convertible doesn't mean moving him to forward-facing. Having an infant at that age forward-facing is illegal, first of all, and reckless as far as safety goes. Kids should ideally rear-face as long as you can find a seat that will accommodate them rear-facing-- into the third year at the very least.

[Critty]

My DD (11months) is really starting to hate her bucket seat. We bought the Snug Ride 32 thinking it would last longer for her (she is 21.5 pounds), but she is now crying every time we go in the car. We are going to buy her a convertible seat (Britax) this week, a lot of reviews I have read said once people switched, the babies were much happier.

Please rear face as long as possible. There are so horrifying crash test videos on YouTube that should almost make you want to rear face the drivers seat! Ha! But seriously, they are eye opening. Safety is more important that happiness in the car.

[*MamaJen*]

What kind of car seat is it? My baby HATED his Chicco Keyfit car seat and screamed bloody murder in it, then he started breaking out in a rash. Turned out he was actually allergic to the fabric. As soon as we put a cover on it, he was totally happy in it. Another friend just had a similar experience with her baby. Apparently some of the shiny, glossy car seat fabrics can really irritate a baby's skin.

[freckledgirl]

My guy hates it too, but I'm going to keep him rear facing for as long as possible. This freaked me out:

http://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildre...t-least-age-2/

I give him a pacifier and keep a bunch more up front with me to put in his mouth at red lights if he drops his and is crying, I pass toys to him, and I sing songs. He often fusses or cries, but I'd rather hear him cry than worry about him being seriously injured in an accident due to a forward facing seat.

Hopefully your LO will grow out of it soon! Mine has at least gotten better.

[maptome]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Also, keep a box of toys next to you and hand them back one at a time. If you give him all the toys at once he's likely to toss them away all at once and have no toys.

We use a giant container of toys. I've bought a bunch of toys just so we can have a lot for car rides. It has helped me immensely.

[lifeguard]

Ds went through a rough period with his carseat around 6-8 months. He would just scream & scream. It was heartbreaking & with our living situation at the time we were often on the highway for 30 minutes twice a day so we had no choice but to put him in his seat.

We used a soother. It has been the only time we've used a soother & that ds would actually accept. Sometimes it took several tries (reaching over the seat with my arm) to get him to take it but once he would it helped immensely.

The mirror so you can see them really helped too imo. I don't think he could really see me but I found it comforting to be able to see him. Sometimes he sounded much more upset than he actually appeared (ds is very expressive in his face so this was important to me).

I agree with pp that trying a different rfing seat might help. When we got the truefit as a second seat several months ago I was surprised at how much more comfy it appeared than the convertible we were already using. And once I put him in someone else's carseat & he screamed the whole time (this was months later) - the only thing I can figure is he was uncomfortable.