hyper sexualized kids

[mommy2two babes]

I am not sure if this is the right section or not for this.
recently there was a new sex-ed cirriculum that was to be taught starting in grade1. They said that todays kids are hyper sexualiized and therefore need to be taught sooner and more.

It kind of made me think why is this?
Is it something that us as parents are doing?
Is it outside influence?

If it is outside influince why cant we stop it at least at a younger age?

Are some parents inadvertantly encouraging her this behavior by exposing thier kids to what they think is popular?

Both this year and lastyear in DD s class ( 3-5yearolds) litttle girls dresses in sexy clothes, wearing backpacks with tv stars aimed at tweens ( hannah montana, suite life, wizards of waverly place ect) listening to music like justin bieber and rhianna. My DD doesn't even know that these things exist. She likes shows like arthur and the music of lazy town and the little people?
this isn't anything I have encouraged nor have I discouraged her from things she likes. I guess I question ( for those without older siblings) how these kids were exposed to this stuff to begin with.

I hope my ramblings make sense

[FishBounce]

I think that, like you said, it's pop culture kinda taking over everyone's common sense. I also think that it is in part the parent's encouraging such things. I know that dh and I have seen several moms dressing their girls up all hoochie like and exclaiming, "Isn't she so sexy? It's so cute!"

Seriously, making a 4 year old "sexy"? How do they not see the problem with that? KWIM?

[seashells]

It's the peer-oriented culture and the media that is trying to engage them.

Kids always want to be "older" so even if Hannah Montana is a pre-teen idol, younger children will emulate her to be more "sophisticated."

Because peers are more peer-oriented these days than parent-oriented, they get their culture horizontally (from each other) than vertically (from their parents and grandparents and other adults in the community). But kids are not that original, they can''t be (they are too young and inexperienced) so instead of coming up with their own culture, they adopt the culture the media assigns to them. And media (TV shows, commercials, etc. - leading to toys, clothing and other consumables) has found great success in encouraging kids to be "older" and "more mature."

[Mama~Love]

I think a large part of it is advertising/merchandising. The other day, I saw TODDLER toys for the move Iron Man 2 coming out. It's what, PG-13? There's no way I'd let a toddler watch that!

I'd really object to sex ed taught in 1st grade too! Maybe that's part of the problem? They are exposed to it so much earlier than ever before, some parents don't care WHAT they watch or listen to.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I feel as though it is a domino effect.

Sex has become complacently advertised/sensationalized, and it has fallen into the category of "sh*t falls downhill" IMHO. The more it is inadvertantly and/or subliminally injected into childrens programming, coupled with the entertainers becoming more and more sexulaized as they get older (I can remember it happening with Janet Jackson when I was a kid, and then Britney Spears when my sister was a kid, and now Miley Cirus, etc etc) SEX has become something that is no longer respected. And it only seems to get worse as the years go on. I fear someday we will be having the birds and the bees conversations with our 4 year olds, when I specifically remmeber that conversation was usually saved for kids in middle school/junior high school. I find it very sad and alarming, but its something I have been trying to wrap my head around. In just a few short years, I will have two boys in the public school system, ( I wish I could change that) and I dread the questions they will be asking at such vulnerable ages, and what things I will not be able to protect them from hearing. It actually scares the sh*t outta me.

[ecoteat]

I agree that our culture is speeding things up too much. There's probably some connection to the earlier ages of physical development and the way the media responds to kids' interest in things more mature than they are (which I think has been the case for some time and is compounded by the physical changes in our bodies). I also agree that because of this current trend in our culture that kids need to be taught awareness of what is normal for their bodies at a younger age. I would assume that calling the curriculum that extends to first grade "sex ed" is misleading. A responsible program would spend its time in the early grades just discussing the kids' own bodies in a non-sexual way. By the time they are old enough to get into the details of reproduction and behavioral expectations, they already have an appreciation for their own bodies. It's probably a pre-emptive encouragement of positive body issues before a kid ends up in a situation where they do something stupid because they don't understand what's happening or they don't value their physical selves.

[brokenheart]

Oh, this bugs me. I have seen it so much and I don't get it at all. My DD is 7. I don't buy her blinged-out clothes, etc. She still is very very much a little girl. However, I see other kids her age who are listening to Ke$ha on their ipods singing "Your Love is my Drug" (I'm not kidding ). I met a grandma at the bookstore on the weekend, and she started talking to me about her 6 year old granddaughter. She was trying to pick out magazines for her. I asked if she'd be interested in the My Little Pony mag, but she said oh no...she's way past that. And she bought a tween mag for a 6 year old!

We don't have television in part because I hate all the pop-culture influence on my child. What I don't understand is why a lot of other parents seem fine with it. Why do they want their kids growing up so fast? I know another mom with a daughter same age as mine (we met when they were newborns). I was a bit shocked to see her daughter now on facebook wearing very grown-up clothing (think really trendy teen) along with jewelry and lipgloss and boots with little heels. Not to be mean, but all I think of when I see that is that she's making her little girl into a pedo's dream. Like Brooke Shield's in Pretty Baby.

[mommy2two babes]

In grade 1 they were to be teaching proper body part names ( I have no problem with that)
By grade 3 gender identity, sexual orientation.
By grade 6 masturbation, vaginal lubrication,
grade 7 anal/ oral sex and birth control

As it stands I wasn't even sure if I should be writing those things here

[mommy2maya]

Well as far as hannah montana and such in the younger kids, it is possible they have older sisters/brothers. When my 9yo was in preschool, she had no idea who any of the hot pop stars or such were. She watched barney and arthur and blues clues. Now, my 4yo has an older brother and an older sister. She is exposed to so much more than they were. I don't think it is a bad thing, it just is. So, I think there is a huge difference when the kid is the oldest or the youngest in the family.

[ecoteat]

Originally Posted by brokenheart

I asked if she'd be interested in the My Little Pony mag, but she said oh no...she's way past that.

I think this bring up another thing... Our culture is always pushing for kids to grow up faster educationally and intellectually, so of course the emotional and developmental stuff gets pushed along with it. Like the continuum of what things interest kids needs to be moved along faster, therefore putting a 6 year old at reading a magazine geared towards 12 year olds. Because faster must be better, right? It's like a competition.

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by mommy2two babes

In grade 1 they were to be teaching proper body part names ( I have no problem with that)
By grade 3 gender identity, sexual orientation.
By grade 6 masturbation, vaginal lubrication,
grade 7 anal/ oral sex and birth control

As it stands I wasn't even sure if I should be writing those things here

Where did you hear that this was specifically what they are talking about? I'm pretty suspicious. I've heard about a new sex ed curriculum that is being used in many places in the country, and it's really just good touch/bad touch in first grade, and they talk mainly about puberty and birth control as they get older. There's an urban legend, or maybe politially motivated deliberate misinformation?, going around about this curriculum, so I'm worried you might have gotten the misinformaton. When people hear "sex ed for first graders" they sometimes get an image in their heads that is contrary to what is actually being taught.

I would contact the school and find out specifically what is being taught before getting too worried.

[mamazee]

I should add that the political motivation is that it isn't an abstinence only based curriculum. I think it's reasonable for people to say that they are uncomfortable with sex ed that discusses birth control and respond to that, but I'm made uncomfortable by scare talk about anal sex being taught in schools.

[LaLaLaLa]

When I was in first grade, I traveled around our neighborhood with a group of kids who were about the same age. Some in kindergarten, first grade, a few in second grade. We peed in the woods and looked at each other's genitals. We played some "doctor" games. Nothing terribly damaging, but stuff that I remember feeling a little uneasy about.

I don't think that children's interest in sex and gender differences has changed much, but I think that parents are more aware and more concerned than the parents of my neighborhood ever were. I think in earlier generations there was potential for a lot more sexual abuse of children simply because none of this was talked about. I'm all in favor of schools talking to my kids about sex and about ownership of their own bodies. I talk to my kids about these things, too, even though they are only 5 and 4.

We also talk a lot about gender identity and sexuality, especially since we attend a church that has a very specific welcoming policy toward gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people. DD's and DS's Sunday school classes have kids who have two moms, and we've discussed why that is and what people mean by the words gay and lesbian. I have no idea what my kids' sexual orientation will turn out to be when they are adults, and I think it's important that they get the message from birth that whoever they are, it is always okay with me and DH. I hope these are the messages they'd get in a school curriculum, too.

I don't see parents around here trying to get their kids to grow up too fast or to be sexy. In fact, I see pushing back the sex ed curriculum to kindergarten as having the opposite affect. If someone had been telling me in kindergarten that my private parts were private and I should expect others to respect that, maybe I wouldn't have been pulled into as many doctor games as I was. As a child who was unaware of exactly what was going on, and who wasn't taught the words to back out, it was difficult to refuse.

If kids had been getting the message from early childhood that being gay was okay, maybe kids wouldn't have been paralyzed into inaction by the fear of being labeled gay. Or wouldn't be terrorized by other kids for being too effeminate or too masculine.

I'm all on board with early sex ed.

[Tjej]

Well, I'm in Canada, but on public radio last week they were talking about extending the cirriculum for sex ed to 1st grade starting with proper body part names. They didn't give the details about later grades.

I don't mind proper names for parts, but I guess I think that "sex ed" for 1st graders is a bit much. It's a little muddy for me because I am actively trying to raise my kids in a less media influenced more "innocent" environment than I grew up in. I think I turned out okay and I'm not mad at my parents or anything, but I also think there could be real positive differences in a childhood that is more "innocent". I also think that kids are generally saturated in a media environment that has really untrue/non-positive messages about sex and sexuality, and it is the lies about sex and sexuality that are in the pop culture that I especially want to avoid.

Tjej

ETA: And I meant to say that when I was a kid anyway, sex ed was always light years behind what I already knew anyways. I think it started in grade 4 - with the boys and girls separate and all that. I can't remember a time I didn't know all about sex's details.

[dawningmama]

I'm with LaLaLaLa. I don't think kids are any more interested in their private parts and sex now than they were a generation ago or more. We just talk about it more now. Some babies/toddlers masturbate/self-gratify and some kids don't do that until they are much older. I think it's dangerous not to acknowledge that children are sexual beings and at very young ages are naturally curious about their bodies and what other bodies look like. There has to be a safe and clear way for us to talk about it---to teach them body autonomy and basic biological anatomy without fearing that such information will somehow damage them or make them less innocent. If anything, I think giving kids the knowledge and information and language gives them even more power to know and understand that their bodies are their own and that they should share them only if and when they are ready and want to. IMO, lack of that knowledge and personal power can lead to kids being able to be coerced into sexually abusive relationships.

I don't have any problems with the sex ed schedule outlined above. My eldest is in 7th grade and he knows all that. We've been teaching sex-ed pretty much his whole life, just as we taught other things like how to hard boil an egg or long division---mostly when he brought it up and in age-appropriate language and a matter-of-fact way.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by FishBounce

I know that dh and I have seen several moms dressing their girls up all hoochie like and exclaiming, "Isn't she so sexy? It's so cute!"

*blink* For real? That's just WEIRD. Who would want their daughter to be "sexy" at any pre-adult age? I mean mine is still a baby, but even as a teenager I wouldn't be thrilled about her exuding sex, you know? I guess it's just odd to want to see your child in a sexual way.

Originally Posted by mommy2two babes

In grade 1 they were to be teaching proper body part names ( I have no problem with that)
By grade 3 gender identity, sexual orientation.
By grade 6 masturbation, vaginal lubrication,
grade 7 anal/ oral sex and birth control

As it stands I wasn't even sure if I should be writing those things here

I don't think I'd have a problem with any of that (the grade 6 and 7 may sound too young, but really if they are in public school, they are hearing about those things from their friends at grade 6 and 7-- at least I was, and that was nearly 15 years ago-- so they may as well be well-informed about it rather than getting garbled views from other kids).

There is a line between HyperSexual (think 12-year-olds dressed as Britney Spears) and Victorian. Really I think that acknowledging sex and being factual about it (as referenced above-- teaching children proper names for organs, explaining about sexual orientation, and then in pre-teen years having more information) is a lot better than the "sex is dirty or forbidden" attitude. I'd rather talk to my kids about it myself, but if some parents aren't able to do that, it would be good for the kids to get the information SOMEWHERE from an authoritative source that won't glamorize it.

[ecoteat]

Originally Posted by mommy2two babes

In grade 1 they were to be teaching proper body part names ( I have no problem with that)
By grade 3 gender identity, sexual orientation.
By grade 6 masturbation, vaginal lubrication,
grade 7 anal/ oral sex and birth control

As it stands I wasn't even sure if I should be writing those things here

I just taught a unit on human reproduction to my 6th-8th grade students. We definitely talked about all those things. Well, not so much about oral sex, but it did come up. I approached it more from a biological function perspective than a societal perspective, though. But if I'm going to do a good job teaching about how a female's body changes through her cycle, including how her vagina and cervix make things really hospitable to sperm when she's ovulating, of course we're going to talk about vaginal lubrication! That's just straight biology. The kids WANT to talk about this stuff (most of them, anyway) by that age with adults they trust. If the teacher is open and willing to answer questions, the kids will ask if they can masturbate too much or if you need a condom for anal sex or what a vibrator is. A lot of them have been dying to have the opportunity to get answers for a long time. Appropriate sex ed in school tries to counter the sexualization of kids in our society by empowering kids to not be ashamed of their body functions and to advocate for themselves.

[dawningmama]

Originally Posted by ecoteat

Appropriate sex ed in school tries to counter the sexualization of kids in our society by empowering kids to not be ashamed of their body functions and to advocate for themselves.

Ahhh, this is what I was stumbling towards in my long winded post. Thanks for writing something so eloquent and clear, ecoteat. This is exactly why I am pro-sex ed.

[Jessy1019]

Originally Posted by mommy2two babes

In grade 1 they were to be teaching proper body part names ( I have no problem with that)
By grade 3 gender identity, sexual orientation.
By grade 6 masturbation, vaginal lubrication,
grade 7 anal/ oral sex and birth control

As it stands I wasn't even sure if I should be writing those things here

*That's* something you think is too extreme? That seems like basic knowledge about one's body, the way it works, and how to protect yourself.

We've always treated sex ed as a continuing conversation. My kids know the mechanics of sex, they know about same-sex relationships, they know about masturbation (how can you NOT have this talk when they're little and touching themselves all the time?), and they know about different types of birth control, as well as abortion. We answer their questions as they ask -- I want them to think of sex as a very normal, healthy thing.

We don't censor tv/movies/music, and that's led to some great discussions that brought up things that wouldn't have come up in our day-to-day lives as readily.

That said, my kids aren't hyper-sexualized at all. They have knowledge about recreational and reproductive sex, but it doesn't mean they want to be doing it. It does mean they're going to be prepared when the time comes, though, and hopefully that they are less likely to fall prey to ridiculous puritanical views on the subject.

[mommy2two babes]

Originally Posted by mamazee

Where did you hear that this was specifically what they are talking about? I'm pretty suspicious. I've heard about a new sex ed curriculum that is being used in many places in the country, and it's really just good touch/bad touch in first grade, and they talk mainly about puberty and birth control as they get older. There's an urban legend, or maybe politially motivated deliberate misinformation?, going around about this curriculum, so I'm worried you might have gotten the misinformaton. When people hear "sex ed for first graders" they sometimes get an image in their heads that is contrary to what is actually being taught.

I would contact the school and find out specifically what is being taught before getting too worried.

Unfortunatly not an urban legend. I am in Canada and it is now a moot anyays as they have decided not to start it come september.
Parents and religious groups were outraged.

here is a link
http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/can...-91641909.html