Having a bad day, bad month, bad year!

[Tummy]

I am tired!


My wonderful partner bought me a half day spa retreat last year, for Mother's day. I HAVE TO USE IT now or its unusable! I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO A STUPID SPA! I do not want to be pampered, I want to lay in bed and be alone! that would be nice, to have a day of doing nothing in my own home!

So I finally made an apt for the spa... Called and asked my gf is she would come over to watch my girls while I went. Made the apt late in the afternoon so she would not have to chase around the baby the entire time I was gone, it would be nap time. My friend has a newborn baby, trying to make it easier on her to help me out.

My partner has been pissed off that I have not used this GC for the spa YET. Has told me over and over he will take off work, will stay home with the kids so I *can go*.

Well, I found out at 8:30 this am that my gf cannot come over, that she now has a 3 mo old at her house that she is watching. The school called her to pick up her Kgardner cause she is in the clinic with a 101+ fever, she has a 4 yr old at home and says it is okay for me to bring my girls over also.
So that is a newborn (6wks old), 3 mo old, 4yr old, 6yr old PLUS my 22 mo old and 5yr old. That is a lot of kids!!!!

I tried to call the spa and X my apt, they informed me cause I did not give 24hr notice that the administration would have to contact me about my GC. WTF!

I have been crying all damn day (really been crying for 3 days straight, and no It is NOT that time of the month!!!). I do not want to go to a stupid spa. I do not want a stupid facial, manicure, pedicure hour massage, lunch OR ANYTHING! I have never had any of the before mentioned things, and I do NOT FREAKING WANT THEM NOW! I do not want to be pampered!

I feel 'obligated' to go to this stupid spa because my partner bought me a $300 GC to have these services. He thought this would be good for me to be pampered, good for me to get away and have some time for myself. I know his intentions were 100% genuine, but damn it, I do NOT want to go to a spa! I do not feel I deserve a single one of these services! I am not going to enjoy them! I will probably cry through every moment of it anyway, how enjoyable will that be!?!??!

UGH, sorry, I just really needed to get all of that out. Now, I am going to pack the girls up, take them to my gf house so she can be overwhelmed with so many kids, just so I can go to a stupid spa and worry about my gf's sanity and the kids for the next 5 hours!!!!

[Everrgreen]

It sounds like you DEFINITELY do deserve this! I'm assuming you've already left, but I hope that you can enjoy your time as much as possible. Your gf will do fine with all the babies, it's just one afternoon. And hopefully you will come home a new refreshed and relaxed mommy!

Now, if you really truly don't like spas, maybe you can tell your dp that and he can get you something different this year. But I think it is nice to take an afternoon for yourself

[lolar2]

I'm not clear on something here.... Is it that you don't feel "good enough" for those services, or is it that you don't like them, period?

To me, I don't like spa services, except sometimes massages. When I get a manicure or pedicure or a facial, I don't consider that "doing something for myself" or "feeling pampered." I consider it "grooming myself to fit societal expectations." Basically to look neat and well-groomed for work. So to me, it's a boring and necessary (and sometimes painful, if we're talking about waxing or pedicures) part of work. Honestly if DH gave me something like that as a "gift," I'd say, "What, I don't look good enough to you?" Unless I'd already asked for it because money was tight and I wanted the grooming stuff to do double-duty with the gift budget. And he knows me well enough to know that. If you feel like I do, you should probably tell your partner.

But many people really do feel relaxed and pampered when they go to a spa. My mom enjoys it, I know that. If you do, and if you think you really would enjoy it, then your partner who is nagging you to go, needs to make it possible by watching the kids!

[Drummer's Wife]

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[mama2toomany]

Sounds like you have a lot going on, and maybe having to deal with some heavy depression too. I hope you get the time you need to just do what you want to do.

[Tummy]

Thank you for moving this thread... who ever did so.

I went. Was not this mind blowing expierence that I beieve my partner expected it to be, but I already knew it would not be.

I have never had any of these 'services' before. I did tell him not to bother wasting the $ next time, HOWEVER, I did enjoy the facial, it was great!

I was completely disenchanted with the pedi and mani! Asked the lady for 'french manicure', she used a white pencil- wiped it on the underside of my nails, OH-FREAKING AFTER SHE RE-SHAPED MY NAILS FROM SQUARE TO ROUND/POINTED AND THEY ARE ALL LOPSIDED!!!, she then used a top coat, that is NOT a french manicure damn it!

"She insisted" on color on my toes, so I went with a really pretty green. As 'she' was helping put my flip flops back on my feet 'she' swiped two nails, I walked out with them like that!

Another thing, my partner paid for a 4 hour day which was to include lunch or dinner, depending on the hours I went, I was not even offered a damn cracker!



I do not/did not feel I 'deserved' any of this, and I did not truly 'enjoy' myself... it was nice, but not all that!

[lolar2]

Blech, you're right-- for $300 you deserved a LOT better than that!