Older Kids and the transition.

[Juvysen]

Well, my older two have been ... uh... not handling the transition as well as I had hoped. They're both clingy, whiney, and somewhat more agressive than before (imo)... any tips on helping them through this?

[Juvysen]

come on don't tell me I'm the only one!!

[Right of Passage]

I don't have any advice. DS 1 & 2 torture each other all day long despite my attempts for otherwise. Unless I get them really engaged in an activity they're a little crazy right now.

[brightskye]

Clingy, whiny and more aggressive, that about sums up my 2 year old since his sister was born. It is sooooooo frustrating. I feel guilty, like I had this brilliant, secure, happy child and I broke him! Now he cries when I get out of bed to go to the bathroom! I have no tips, but I'm hoping someone does.

[Deir]

1ht- i'm with you guys!!!! it helps me just to know my kids (mostly just ds 2-who is 4)are not alone in this. this too shall pass?

[ciga]

I don't have 1st hand experience but when my nephew was born this past august my 2.5 year old niece went awol.

She had been successfully potty training and regressed to staring down my sister while pooping her pants. She also decided her mama was no longer her friend and that her daddy was her BEST friend and took every opportunity to tell my sister that.
On the up side she loves her brother and never took it out on him.
She started kind of coming out of it when Rome was about 6 months but then went straight into a major "testing" phase that still continues and is maybe just a continuation of loosing her place as #1

[Plummeting]

I wish I could help, but my older DD will be SIX next month and still isn't handling it well every day. FTMP I can't complain, but sometimes...ugh! She was sick the other day and when she got well, the baby seemed to not feel good the next day. DD1 decided she was going to run around telling us how happy she was that the baby didn't feel as good as she felt. So clearly my family is not the shining example of how to have a smooth transition. Sigh.

[gardenmommy]

we have good days and bad days. yesterday was good, today, eh, not so much. my older dds have been awful to each other lately. dd2 is covered in nail gouges from dd1. i'm trying to think of an adequate consequnce for that. ds2 is cranky and ornery, but i kinda expect a little acting out around age 3. thankfully, they all seem to love baby, at least most of the time.

[Lilcrunchie]

My two older kids (6 yo DS and almost 3.5 yo DD) have been very lovey with the baby. No problems there really. Except for last night when I left baby on the floor after a dipe change to run the dipe to the washer and then heard the baby erupt into screaming....and DD hid. We talked with her and it came out she had tried to put the baby in her doll stroller (she has asked about it before but never tried it) and "dropped" him. THankfully he was okay but yikes. So she loves on him with her baby fever a little much

We had a tougher transition with my oldest when my 2nd was born. We had 2-3 pretty good weeks and then the novelty kinda wore off for him and he became...challenging...for a while. Then all was well until she became mobile, which honestly is when it got tough and really rocked his world. He didn't like that now she could get into his stuff...knock down his block structures, that kind of thing. On the bright side it provided the impetus for him to learn to play on his own a bit. My rule was that if he was building something like that, etc. he had to do it upstairs or risk having the baby knock it down as I can only police things so much.

My two older kids play together all day which really helps with the baby. However, I suspect we'll see an uptick of sibling rivalry stuff and behavior issues come into play when baby #3 becomes mobile. We also have a major move coming up (great with a newborn, huh?) and I'm wondering if that will trigger some regression and behavior issues in the older kids.

eta: my older two have definitely been fighting plenty...but I'm not sure that's all that different than normal unfortunately. They go in spurts. 3.5 has always been a challenge around here LOL. It is tough when I feel like I should be more hands on but it is tough while nursing. Sometimes I just find I have to put down the baby and deal with what needs my attention, but it is hard, hard, hard to do that.

[mama kk]

Challenging here too. Good days and bad days~ but I think the better days are increasing .
DD (2.5) had a total potty regression for 3 weeks and has become more defiant and saucy. I feel a lot of guilt that she isn't getting enough good attention, but I am banking on the good extra attention she will benefit from having a sibling for the rest of her life.
The good news is that she seems to love DS and never takes out her frustration on him.

[Juvysen]

My kids seem to really love Avery and not take anything out on him, either... but the whining and the tantrums I could do without. *sigh*

[Chryseis]

On the whole the transition has been okay. My 4 year old daughter has mostly enjoyed having the baby around. She does have moments where she's a bit needier than she normally is, but they're few and far between.

My 22 month old son has had more issues. He started out by pretty much ignoring Maggie's existence, but has since moved on to acknowleging her by giving her kisses, or putting blankets on her. However, he has started having a real problem with my nursing her. He has begun to bite me whenever I nurse her. And I don't mean little love bites, we're talking bit giant bruising bites. My forearms and the back of my neck are bruised beyond belief from him. I've been trying to read him books or show him books online while I nurse in addition to spending quality alone time with him. Hopefully things will start to get better.

[Juvysen]

gah! Candace, that doesn't sound fun at all!! Hope he moves past that soon!