Is that it?

[MissSJ]

Picture this: It's your child's birthday party and dc finishes opening gifts. Upon finishing dc looks disappointed and says "Is that it?" This is said in front of the guests whose gifts dc just opened. This is said in a way that seems as if dc is not happy with the gifts he/she received or as if dc was hoping to get something that dc didn't receive.

What do you do? Has this happened in your family? If so, how did you react?

This recently happened at the birthday party of a family member and I started wondering what my reaction would be if one of my boys did this. Initially I think I would be surprised, horrified, embarrassed and unsure of how to address it.

[woodchick]

I would probably say something like, "looks like it! Why don't you thank everyone and let's go get some cake!"

I wouldn't want to draw any more attention to it or make a huge deal of it.

[MissSJ]

Good point to not draw attention to it and to be matter of fact. If it were obvious that this was said because dc was disappointed in the gifts that were given would you address it later?

[KatWrangler]

What Rebecca said.

Yep, or I would make an announcement and move the party forward. Like to refreshments or a game.

Kids are going to do that. Just have to say to yourself "Well that was embarrassing." and move on.

[woodchick]

Originally Posted by MissSJ

Good point to not draw attention to it and to be matter of fact. If it were obvious that this was said because dc was disappointed in the gifts that were given would you address it later?

I think if it came up again, say while we were cleaning up or "assessing the loot", I would try and talk about being grateful for the gifts given and maybe encourage not saying anything next time.

But most likely it was said in the heat of the moment and birthday child probably didn't mean any harm by it. I might make a point to talk about etiquette in the week or so before the next gift getting opportunity, though.

[lolar2]

My friend played "birthday party" with her daughter several times before the fourth birthday party, to rehearse the proper behavior. She said it helped (this is a long-distance friend so I wasn't at the party).

[NiteNicole]

I have noticed during parties or fun things, sometimes my daughter will get caught up in checking to see if the fun is over. She's not really asking because she's disappointed, she's just seeing if there's time left on the clock, so to speak.

[MissSJ]

Originally Posted by lolar2

My friend played "birthday party" with her daughter several times before the fourth birthday party, to rehearse the proper behavior. She said it helped (this is a long-distance friend so I wasn't at the party).

I like this idea for younger kids. I guess along these lines I like the idea of talking about the importance of expressing thanks and being grateful for gifts you receive even if you had something else in mind.

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

I have noticed during parties or fun things, sometimes my daughter will get caught up in checking to see if the fun is over. She's not really asking because she's disappointed, she's just seeing if there's time left on the clock, so to speak.

I can definitely see this happening with a young child. The family member I am referring to turned 12 so I don't believe that was the case.

[zeldamomma]

Originally Posted by MissSJ

I can definitely see this happening with a young child. The family member I am referring to turned 12 so I don't believe that was the case.

As a guest, I would try to remember that it's hard to be 12, and that a 12 year old is still a kid, and try not give a single act too much weight.

As a parent, if my 12 year old did that, we would be having a LOOONG talk about how a careless phrase can hurt people's feelings, and about how they would feel if they had been the gift giver. And I'd consider what else was going on in his/her life, and whether this was a reflection of her being stressed, or just self-centered.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by woodchick

I would probably say something like, "looks like it! Why don't you thank everyone and let's go get some cake!"

I would do this and I may laugh with my guests about it later since our guests tend to have children the same age who have also been through the stage where things just pop out of their mouths. It is better to laugh than cry.

[mumkimum]

My dd has said this at present-opening occasions - she's still young (she's 3.5) so I think her saying it has was about wondering 'is this done or not?'.

When it happened I just said 'yes, that's all the presents' and then started clapping and saying 'yea! woo hoo!' and stuff, so as to celebrate finishing opening the gifts. So now we have the habit of doing that after opening presents.

[MissSJ]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I would do this and I may laugh with my guests about it later since our guests tend to have children the same age who have also been through the stage where things just pop out of their mouths. It is better to laugh than cry.

so true! I still go through that stage sometimes

[MissSJ]

Originally Posted by zeldamomma

As a guest, I would try to remember that it's hard to be 12, and that a 12 year old is still a kid, and try not give a single act too much weight.

As a parent, if my 12 year old did that, we would be having a LOOONG talk about how a careless phrase can hurt people's feelings, and about how they would feel if they had been the gift giver. And I'd consider what else was going on in his/her life, and whether this was a reflection of her being stressed, or just self-centered.

You are right it is hard to be 12. This 12 year old, who I don't know very well, seems to be a sweet kid. I was just trying to figure out what I would do if one of my boys said this in the same way. Now I'm realizing it doesn't have to be made into a big deal and kids say things without thinking. This poses a good opportunity to talk about gratitude and other's feelings.

Thanks MDC mamas for helping me put this in perspective

[Just1More]

I prep my kids ahead of time, too. I offer suggestions about what they could say, and run them through sticky scenerios. It really seemed to help with dd.

[mumsafari]

I think it is quite 'forgivable' if any adult were to hear that. After all, kids will be kids. However, it is good ask him to thanks everyone for presents and distract your child with other things and just move on