Detaching 2.5yo Magnet Child from My Leg?

[ElsieLC]

Anyone have suggestions for helping a sensitive child let go of me and bid me farewell? I'd like to continue leaving her with friends or the very-well-supervised playgroup that we've been attending her whole life. Just for a couple hours.

For the last month, she's had a hard time saying goodbye. Then she either soldiers through the playdate, looking as though she's trying to be brave, or she sits and just looks sad for 45 minutes.

I know it's a normal developmental stage. But for some reason it's *really* stressful for me (partly because I can't count on being able to leave).

[ElsieLC]

Anyone? Any miracle cures for clingy kids, or suggestions on when this phase will pass?

[jillian+1]

Well, you could try talking about it ahead of time. I think if you're going to try and leave her, you should really commit to that, so there's no uncertainty. "Tomorrow morning, we're going to A and B's house, and you're going to play with B, and I'm going to go to my appointment. Then, I'm going to come back, and we can play for a while and then go home, to our house." Repeat ad nauseam. Once you get there, give her plenty of warnings when you're going to leave: 10 minutes, 5 minutes, etc. Then, of course, you have to actually leave when you said you would.

Then, when you come back, you say, "I came back! I said I would come back, and I came back! I always come back."

I would say watch how -you- are responding to leaving her. Certainly mirror her concerns back ("aw, you don't want me to leave, huh?"), but don't get worked up yourself, or that will make her even more anxious.

You may want to cut back on how much you leave her, just for the time being, if it's stressful for her and thereby stressful for you. I mean, these things only last so long, right? Anyway, you're not scarring her or anything; you're not leaving her with strangers, and you're not even leaving her for that long. She might be grumpy but she'll be OK.