I've come here before with similar questions about making a move, so if you've read (and responded) before....please bear with me!
I am literally in knots over this. Here is the current situation: I live with my DH and three children about 10 minutes from my hometown. My parents and four siblings all live within 30 miles (along with my 13 nieces and nephews). Two of my sisters live down the street (in different houses, with their spouses). Our kids are all friends, I have a very close family. I don't get much "help" from my parents (in terms of babysitting, etc.), but we don't really need it because my DH works from home and I'm a SAHM...so we're flexible. I like this community for the most part. I've made friends, my kids have made tons of friends, and people are very supportive, helpful, neighborly here. It's more conservative than I am and I don't have any super close friends (besides my sisters) partly because I feel like there are some fundamental differences in our beliefs. On top of that, the schools are not good here. Not horrible, but pretty lacking and kind of rough (some small-time gang issues, etc.). It is also very suburban...nothing to walk to, just strip malls everywhere. We're about 2 hours from DHs family and, well, their awesome ocean-front beach house. That we get to use on our own for at least a week each summer. (Just trying to give you the full picture!)
We moved here on a "temporary" basis 3 years ago to get out of a crime-ridden neighborhood in the city. We've wanted to leave 1) because the cost of living is very high and we are barely making ends meet and 2) I never wanted to live so close to my hometown. Maybe it's stupid, but I feel like I'm seriously disappointing my college-aged self by living here. It is SOOO not what I wanted for so many years. But now...it works, it's easy.
My DH has applied for jobs all over the country for awhile now to keep our options open. Now one of those jobs is coming through. It would mean a move to a wonderful city that meets so many of our dream criteria. He'd be making A LOT more money, the hours would be decent (not as great as working from home, of course, but pretty regular 9-5 with almost no commute). And it would be an interesting, good job for him. We could afford a beautiful home in a walkable neighborhood with more liberal-leaning folks everywhere. The schools are great, the area is beautiful. But, it's about 14 hours away from where we live now. A plane flight.
Part of me wants to move because I feel like our family needs it's own space. We are SO intertwined with my family that it can be suffocating. I love them and we are very close, but I never envisioned living down the street from them. I just pictured more adventure, more change.
But as I type this I see how much we'd be giving up. And I really don't know what to do. My DH feels a lot of pressure to be sure this job is perfect and awesome in order to move the family for it. And I'm just really, really torn. And to add to it, my 5 and 3 year old will be crushed. Literally. They LOVE their cousins and aunts/uncles and g-parents...as in, they scream out with joy anytime someone comes over and ask almost daily to get together.
Does anyone have any advice? Anyone BTDT?
I am literally in knots over this. Here is the current situation: I live with my DH and three children about 10 minutes from my hometown. My parents and four siblings all live within 30 miles (along with my 13 nieces and nephews). Two of my sisters live down the street (in different houses, with their spouses). Our kids are all friends, I have a very close family. I don't get much "help" from my parents (in terms of babysitting, etc.), but we don't really need it because my DH works from home and I'm a SAHM...so we're flexible. I like this community for the most part. I've made friends, my kids have made tons of friends, and people are very supportive, helpful, neighborly here. It's more conservative than I am and I don't have any super close friends (besides my sisters) partly because I feel like there are some fundamental differences in our beliefs. On top of that, the schools are not good here. Not horrible, but pretty lacking and kind of rough (some small-time gang issues, etc.). It is also very suburban...nothing to walk to, just strip malls everywhere. We're about 2 hours from DHs family and, well, their awesome ocean-front beach house. That we get to use on our own for at least a week each summer. (Just trying to give you the full picture!)
We moved here on a "temporary" basis 3 years ago to get out of a crime-ridden neighborhood in the city. We've wanted to leave 1) because the cost of living is very high and we are barely making ends meet and 2) I never wanted to live so close to my hometown. Maybe it's stupid, but I feel like I'm seriously disappointing my college-aged self by living here. It is SOOO not what I wanted for so many years. But now...it works, it's easy.
My DH has applied for jobs all over the country for awhile now to keep our options open. Now one of those jobs is coming through. It would mean a move to a wonderful city that meets so many of our dream criteria. He'd be making A LOT more money, the hours would be decent (not as great as working from home, of course, but pretty regular 9-5 with almost no commute). And it would be an interesting, good job for him. We could afford a beautiful home in a walkable neighborhood with more liberal-leaning folks everywhere. The schools are great, the area is beautiful. But, it's about 14 hours away from where we live now. A plane flight.
Part of me wants to move because I feel like our family needs it's own space. We are SO intertwined with my family that it can be suffocating. I love them and we are very close, but I never envisioned living down the street from them. I just pictured more adventure, more change.
But as I type this I see how much we'd be giving up. And I really don't know what to do. My DH feels a lot of pressure to be sure this job is perfect and awesome in order to move the family for it. And I'm just really, really torn. And to add to it, my 5 and 3 year old will be crushed. Literally. They LOVE their cousins and aunts/uncles and g-parents...as in, they scream out with joy anytime someone comes over and ask almost daily to get together.
Does anyone have any advice? Anyone BTDT?
