please help my son is making me crazy

[mamaflutter]

I really need some help here my son is making me crazy! He is going to be 10 next month and has had a crazy year. He is going trough quite a transition rite now and I know that. He has moved back home with me after less than a year with his dad. Where he had no actual disipline unless you count his dad hitting him. He walked all over his grandmother and now thinks he can do that to me. If I try to disipline him he says he's gonna cut himself or break his ankle or break his sisters toys. The other day he spit in my face. I was in shock! You tell him to do something simple and its like asking him to climb everest. Last night he threw a full on tantrum, I mean drooling on himself hyperventling crying moaning on the floor tantrum. Y you ask because I told him he had to sleep in bed not in the livingroom. I am exsasperated I just don't know what to do with him.
He was diagnosed with adhd and tried mmeds for a wile but dose not like how he feels. He would cheak them and hide them arround the house. When he did take them he did much better in school and was calmer at home. In the time he was with his dad he has compleatly gone down hill. He was on the verge of being expled due to behavioral probs. He has droped down to a first grade reading level. I'm worried about my kid I just don't know what to do any advice please.
I worry so much and get so stressed I am concerned about my health as well. My bp was up at my last ob visit never before has my bp been high. So please advise me how do I get him to chill so the house can chill? Thanks in advance for any tips or advice.
Candi 26 mom 2 mj,9 juje,4 and baby girl due aug

[mtiger]

Personally? I would suggest a visit to his pediatrician as well as a therapist.

[weliveintheforest]

What is his diet and sleep like? I would focus on those first, and go from there. The previous poster is probably right that seeing his dr and a counsellor would be extremely beneficial.

a couple of food links:
http://www.feingold.org/
http://www.healthcastle.com/adhd_diet.shtml
http://www.amazon.com/N-D-D-Book-Nut.../dp/0316043443

sleep links:
http://www.parentchildhelp.com/
http://www.4-adhd.com/article1.html

I hope you can find some good support

[mamaflutter]

Mtiger, that's what I plan on we are just waiting on insurance. He just got back here last monday. I am hoping they get him added on quick so we can get that process started. I want to know what I can do now to effect some change. Any ideas please.
Candi

[karne]

First things first. You need to take care of yourself. You can't help anyone if you end up sick or in danger w/ high blood pressure, etc. So, you might want to have a plan in your mind for how you are going to de-escalate, de-compress, what ever you may call it, when things get rough. Who will you call? What support do you have?

Secondly, this does not sound like a situation that's going to get better overnight. Your ds is in crisis. As bad as his world was before he got to you, it was still his world. He sounds like he has some issues, but on top of that, he now has to figure out a new way of relating to you and being in your world with your limits and reasonable expectations. While it would be wonderful if he could smoothly transition to this, the reality sounds more like he is going to seriously push some boundaries and test you with all he has.

You can't do this alone. While you are waiting on his insurance it would be helpful to get yourself to a family therapist. Your ds needs to know that you are there for him, and that you have personal and family boundaries-you need help to establish this and support as you create this for your family. If you need a referral check with the school counselor.

[Kindermama]

Rescue Remedy for both of you, a homeopathic visit with a well-trained homeopath complete with consistent follow-ups and counseling are my recommendations! Sorry you are going through such a tough time :