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Making plans, getting ready..

post #1 of 15
4/26/10 at 10:49pm
Thread Starter 
What do you guys think about making things/buying special things for your baby you haven't even conceived yet? I keep having the uncontrollable urge to start on a baby blanket and other little things, but I keep hearing people tell me that this is potentially a bad idea. What's your take on it?
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post #2 of 15
4/26/10 at 10:53pm
I couldn't do it myself... but having had a loss before I would always feel like that was for the baby I lost and I couldn't keep it for the next one... so I try not to even buy anything for baby until second trimester at the soonest.

This past week I FINALLY started baby shopping... and I will be 20 weeks tomorrow... so that sort of shows my mindset.

But of course, this is fully a personal choice, if you do not think the presence of a baby item will depress you if it takes you a while to conceive or if, God forbid, you were to miscarry... then go right ahead.
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post #3 of 15
4/27/10 at 12:12am
I'm too superstitious myself. I didn't buy anything for DD until I was 5.5 months along. I did however just buy 2 newborn diapers on a buy one get on free special...so I am seriously hoping I didn't jinx my chances of getting prego again!! I keep searching for used newborn dipes but I'm making myself wait until I'm prego to buy anything else...and perhaps even out of the 1st tri.

Cindy
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post #4 of 15
4/27/10 at 12:18am
Thread Starter 
Darn, you guys are making so much sense.

I'm just a slow blanket knitter trying to get a head start :P
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post #5 of 15
4/27/10 at 12:27am
I have a slightly different history... So, I'm not sure if my thoughts fit in the same as those who ONLY travelled (are travelling) the TTC route. I was undergoing the licensing process to adopt a child in 2007 and collected all sorts of baby and toddler items. I have a crib, highchair, clothing, blankies, toys... Quite an assortment! I was just thinking that I might start adding to the collection again. I've had 2 miscarriages since I acquired everything and it never tainted the baby stuff, though, seeing it shortly after did bring on the tears!

I think if I were to make or get things while pregnant, it might be different. Then the item(s) would be for that baby and a miscarriage might then make those items too difficult to have around. I'm not sure... I didn't make any additions during my short miscarried pregnancies.

I guess that didn't help much...
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post #6 of 15
4/27/10 at 1:09am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevi View Post
I have a slightly different history... So, I'm not sure if my thoughts fit in the same as those who ONLY travelled (are travelling) the TTC route. I was undergoing the licensing process to adopt a child in 2007 and collected all sorts of baby and toddler items. I have a crib, highchair, clothing, blankies, toys... Quite an assortment! I was just thinking that I might start adding to the collection again. I've had 2 miscarriages since I acquired everything and it never tainted the baby stuff, though, seeing it shortly after did bring on the tears!

I think if I were to make or get things while pregnant, it might be different. Then the item(s) would be for that baby and a miscarriage might then make those items too difficult to have around. I'm not sure... I didn't make any additions during my short miscarried pregnancies.

I guess that didn't help much...
No, that's helpful. I kind of agree. I mean, what I plan on making won't be tied to any baby in particular, and kind of makes me feel like I'm doing a little bit more during this TTC wait. I could probably consider it more of a blanket for meditating on fertility and conception rather than on a baby, because knitting is very repetitive and cyclical kind of like TTC. Should there ever be a loss with us, it would feel like more of a reason to press on with that blanket, pick myself up and try again - though I think that at that point, if I had made any huge progress on the project, it could be a rememberance of a little baby that yes, once in fact, existed and began to grow.

I see knitting, and all my projects I come up with, as kind of a way to document what I've done, where I've been. I remember sweaters I've knit while on vacation, conversations I've had while working on a pair of socks - that kind of thing, using my knitting to comfort in hard times or to keep my nervous hands busy. Painful or not, it's all a part of the process for me, I suppose.
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post #7 of 15
4/27/10 at 3:03am
Yes, not all the memories from my brief pregnancies are sad... I have all of the pregnancy tests and I think I have the OPKs from both as well. I keep them as momentos.
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post #8 of 15
4/27/10 at 9:03am
I somehow collect more things while not pregnant than when pregnant.
Especially newborn diapers, a current obsession.
I think it's a way to be optimistic about TTC, like it turns "if I get pregnant" into "when I get pregnant". Not a bad thing IMO. Of course, having had a MC at 13 weeks this winter, it kind of sucks to have a newborn stash of diapers ready to go but hopefully I'll have someone to use them on soon enough.
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post #9 of 15
4/27/10 at 10:57am
I have to work hard to resist the urge to buy things for my non-existent baby! At Walmart, the baby section is directly across from the groceries, and I often find myself drifting over just to take a peek... But I've resolved not to buy anything not only until I'm pregnant, but until I'm at least 3 months along.
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post #10 of 15
4/27/10 at 11:13am
I haven't bought anything - I don't want it to take up space, especially since it will probably take us awhile with my infrequent ovulation. I am itching to start knitting, but the thing holding me back there is that there are people I know in real life on my Rav friends list and I don't want to announce anything yet. LOL
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post #11 of 15
4/27/10 at 11:27am

I think its a great idea

A blanket is a great idea in my mind!! I would use it like you said as kind of a couping mechanism while waiting and then TTC. I know for people with new disabilities and handicaps they actally try to teach them techniques like knitting or doing crossword puzzels. Its a way to keep you mind on track and get a routine going. Like you said if you keep that blanket as symbol for waiting and TTC I think it actally might help you through this long trial.


On another note I just started TTC and charting last week and I went to a few garage sales and bought some onsies(in each gender).......................I know I really should not have done but I did put them in a box in my storage closet out of sight. I always tell people to wait to buy stuff because so many of us have had or will have miscarriages but I always start buying early, i just cant help myself.
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post #12 of 15
4/27/10 at 1:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spinnerette View Post
No, that's helpful. I kind of agree. I mean, what I plan on making won't be tied to any baby in particular, and kind of makes me feel like I'm doing a little bit more during this TTC wait. I could probably consider it more of a blanket for meditating on fertility and conception rather than on a baby, because knitting is very repetitive and cyclical kind of like TTC. Should there ever be a loss with us, it would feel like more of a reason to press on with that blanket, pick myself up and try again - though I think that at that point, if I had made any huge progress on the project, it could be a rememberance of a little baby that yes, once in fact, existed and began to grow.
This.
I've had three losses and a healthy baby and I've just got tell you that hoping, dreaming and planning for something good to happen doesn't make bad things happen.
Why not work on your blanket and think about your hopes for a little one?
During my last pregnancy I bought a beautiful new sling to replace my dingy old one. Buying that sling didn't make me lose the baby. It represents the hope that one day I'll be lovingly carrying a newborn in it and amidst that joy I'll be able to remember that lost little one who DID exist, however briefly.
Wishing you much joy in this journey, mama-to-be!
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post #13 of 15
4/27/10 at 5:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by finnegansmom View Post
I think it's a way to be optimistic about TTC, like it turns "if I get pregnant" into "when I get pregnant".

i realy like this! thanks
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post #14 of 15
4/27/10 at 6:06pm
I think if you want to make/buy something for your future little one you should. I knit a pair of baby booties the month we decided to TTC (first time). 15 months went by before we got pregnant. When we finally got a positive test, I left the booties hanging on the door for DH when he got home.

Knitting baby items while TTC was a great way to channel my anxiety and/or disappointment each month.
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post #15 of 15
4/28/10 at 12:29am
I'm one who has prepared for a new baby before pregnant, and with my nearly 3 yr old son and 2 m/cs, I would still do it again for next time. I am not the superstitious type, but love feeling like I'm preparing for this huge change I'm hoping is coming. This time, I don't need much (since DS is still so young and we kept most things), but I'm not not acquiring things... My first m/c was before my son, and he wore a certain sweater that was my first baby purchase regularly, and when he did it reminded me how much he was wanted and loved and what a gift he is. Nothing sad about it -- connected to the items, that is. But I can see how for some people this would be a hard process with all of the unknowns out there. Good luck with your decision.
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