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School deleaying - "redshirting". - Page 2

post #21 of 97
We homeschool now, but my 4.5 year old will be school aged for the fall. The cut off is the begining of December, and he has a September 30th birthday. He's tiny, has a speech delay, would still be four at the begining of the school year, and seems to be a bit behind socially and with his fine motor skills. If we were doing public school, I would definitely wait for him for another year. However, my oldest son missed the kindy cut off by about 6 weeks, and I really wish he had been able to go. By the time the next year rolled around, he was bored and eventually he skipped a grade. I think waiting that extra year made school much more challenging and difficult. My dd has a June bday, and while she didn't go to kindergarten at all, I can't imagine having held her back an extra year if we were going the school route. So, I guess my answer is that it really depends very heavily on your individual child. Both of my older kids were very independant at a very young age and very academic minded, while my youngest is much more clingy and emotionally volatile.
post #22 of 97


My daughter has a early Aug birthday the cutoff around here is sometime in December. She struggled through K and is struggling in 1st grade but 4 months into the school year the teachers agreed there was something going on and by Jan/Feb she was evaluated by the school district. For her holding her back wouldn't have done much good she still would have struggled in school. Since they cant officially diagnose she was suggested to have ADHD Inattentive Type, auditory processing deficit, speech and language impairment.
My son has a May birthday and we will not be holding him back either
.
post #23 of 97
My dd's birthday is June 26 with a Sept 1 cut off. I've never considered holding her back; nothing implied it was necessary.

My state doesn't have universal preschool and I was planning on keeping her home until K. But she is dying to go to school, and on days that I stay to deal with ds' discipline issues she cries for an hour when we leave; so I am looking into sending her to a private pre-k because it is what she wants. She would drop me like a hot potato to go to school.
post #24 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
We homeschool now, but my 4.5 year old will be school aged for the fall. The cut off is the begining of December, and he has a September 30th birthday. He's tiny, has a speech delay, would still be four at the begining of the school year, and seems to be a bit behind socially and with his fine motor skills. .... while my youngest is much more clingy and emotionally volatile.
I've bolded that red flags for some sort of special needs/developmental issue. You might want to bring this up with your doctor and request and evaluation if you haven't already.
post #25 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
I've bolded that red flags for some sort of special needs/developmental issue. You might want to bring this up with your doctor and request and evaluation if you haven't already.
Thanks Linda. Yes, we're working on getting a school district eval - specifically for speech, but there are other concerns as well.
post #26 of 97
A lot can change with kids in 4 months, how soon do you have to decide if she's going this year or not? If she asked you about going to K, say mid way through September, could you get her in late?

Go ahead and plan to send her next year, but be open to it working out for her to go this year.

ETA: I went a bit early (Sept 1 cut off, Sept 28 birthday) because I asked to go and I enjoyed it. Looking back, being the youngest kept me closer to level and made it easier to fit in. (I was one of the few kids in elementary school with parents who read for fun.)
post #27 of 97
I would concentrate on what's best for your dd - not what might seem best to the neighbors. There is a boy in our neighborhood who is 2 months older than my twin sons, and they started K just as they turned 5 (made the cutoff by 2 days), while the older neighbor boy waited a year. There was no way he was ready for kindergarten at 5, but a year later, he had matured a LOT, and has thrived ever since.

Another neighbor started her daughter according to the cutoff (she was probably among the youngest in her class, I don't remember her birthday), and she struggled so much in first grade that they moved her to a different school and had her repeat 1st. It was a fabulous solution for her, and didn't struggle in school again. She just plain wasn't ready yet.

A friend of mine has a dd who was born 2 weeks after the cutoff, so she is one of the oldest in her grade. Her parent could have petitioned for her to start early, but they felt waiting a year was in her best interest - not so much at 5/6, because she was VERY ready for K at 5, but their concern was with her being the youngest girl in her grade in middle school.

Bottom line - every kid is different, and what works really well for one child would be a nightmare for another. You know your child best.
post #28 of 97
BTW, I think the term "redshirting" in this case applies to parents who hold their kids back so that they will be bigger and stronger to play sports in school.
post #29 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
My birthday is August 17 and so this is just based on my personal experience. It was really hard always being the youngest one in my class. I always felt a beat behind, socially, and I never really felt like I fit in. I was often friends either with people younger or older than me, but rarely had friends in my own age group. My parents had a choice to hold me back or put me in, but I had taught myself to read so they felt like they had to enroll me. My dad still to this day says he wishes he hadn't.
I had the exact same experience, Aug 13th B-day! I was always the "baby" tagging along, from elem to high school, it was always the same, it was very difficult in high school being the youngest. I ended up being exposed and doing things that I certainly should not of been doing at barely 14 years of age. This is always what I tell parents, just don't think about your child right now but in ten years.
post #30 of 97
Oh! I should add that I went to an IB/International studies magnet high school (kids got accepted there based on the international studies program and then could choose to enter the IB program in their Jr year). So that stacked the deck towards lots of geeky kids who weren't into the cliquey popularity stuff that can make it hard to be the youngest.
post #31 of 97
I have the opposite problem.. a year behind you though.

My 3 year old has a November birthday and a Dec cutoff. Since he was ONE people said "oh, you'll hold him back and start K at 5" like it was a fact.

AUGUST boys are held back for no other reason than "Oh, I don't want him to be the last to get his drivers license"

It's odd. My son is remarkably bright and I've asked his preschool teacher to tell me next winter what she thinks.. her reply "I held My son back, I believe in waiting but He'll be ready"

I still don't know what I'll do but I'm annoyed at the attitude that I get when I even consider sending him "Oh, but you CAN'T"

the sad part is that since no one else does, I probably can't... everyone in K is older these days.

I'm guessing the Developmental K program will be our choice... as his pre-school is so non-academic and small that he'll outgrow it for sure
post #32 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by lerlerler View Post
the sad part is that since no one else does, I probably can't... everyone in K is older these days.
I wouldn't say that you can't just b/c other people aren't. In the same way that the OP wants to do something that she feels isn't the norm, you can choose to do the same -- that which isn't popular.

I know that it feels like your child will be at a disadvantage if he is so much younger, but if he is able, he will likely keep up. Our oldest is much younger than her peers having started K just before her 5th bd and skipped a grade in an areas where it is popular to wait to start even girls with bds near hers. She is a great student, so being younger doesn't always mean being behind academically for an able child.
post #33 of 97
I wouldn't assume "everyone" is holding back just because some are verbal about it. My younger dd has a Nov bday (Dec cut-off). I asked our principal about the incoming kindergarten classes for fall -- if there were other young ones, or all were red-shirted. She looked at the numbers and found 20 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2005. There were 9 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2004 (held back). The rest were somewhere in between.
post #34 of 97
http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/200309/DelayingKEntry.pdf
Quote:
Conclusions
Families concerned about their child’s maturity and whether to enroll their child in kindergarten when he or she is eligible have often been advised to give the child the gift of time. Research does not support this practice. In fact, delaying kindergarten entry often has negative effects. Families need to consider that by holding their child out, they may in fact be depriving the child of important opportunities for learning—what Graue and DiPerna (2000) refer to as theft of opportunity.
I recommend reading the whole article, it is very informative.

Since you want advice from people who have personal experience with this, I say send her on time. I happen to have a very unique perspective on this. I have a September b-day. I started school in a state with a late cut off, so I was the youngest in the class. I was very happy as the youngest in the class. However, when my family moved to a new state with an earlier cut off (and a 1st grade cut off) I was made to repeat kindergarten as the oldest in class. I was quite miserable, and had issue through out school, till I was 18 and old enough to just drop out of highschool without parental permission.
post #35 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancingmama View Post
I wouldn't assume "everyone" is holding back just because some are verbal about it. My younger dd has a Nov bday (Dec cut-off). I asked our principal about the incoming kindergarten classes for fall -- if there were other young ones, or all were red-shirted. She looked at the numbers and found 20 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2005. There were 9 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2004 (held back). The rest were somewhere in between.
Our school does a lot of graphing exercises around kids ages and birthdays. Spending a few minutes in the hallways in the school, and I can say the rate of redshirting in my daughter's school is about 1/3. A full 1/3 of kids are held back a year, and this is in a place with a relatively early cutoff (Sept).

My daughter is amongst the youngest in her class. In second grade, there are girls with breast buds. In the second grade. At the end of kindergarten, you could not distinguish who was who academically on anything except maybe handwriting. At the end of second grade, you can't tell at all on either academic or social grounds. This is consistent with large studies that find little to no benefit distinguishable by the end of the third grade. That means my kid is operating >1 year ahead of that 1/3 on a calendar basis.
post #36 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancingmama View Post
She looked at the numbers and found 20 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2005. There were 9 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2004 (held back). The rest were somewhere in between.
What jumped out at me in your post is the number of months considered the "gray" area for starting school. It's a 6 month spread!

In my perfect world, kids whose birthdays fall 30 days either side of the cut off would be evaluted by the school and the school could recommend each child should start or delay. There are difference in how kids mature and a 1 day cut off seems silly to me.

However, with the current system, it's a 2 year spread. Kids whose B-days are 6 months before the cutoff have parents holding them back and kids who b-day are months after the cut off want them pushed forward.

It's just silly.
post #37 of 97
Timely thread. I am in a similiar boat, my dd turns 5 in July. She actually goes to preschool and seems to be fine but lately both my dh & I are starting to feel that she may not be ready for school this fall. I have an older child who is 18 so the idea that my kid wouldn't start school when the time came had never crossed my mind.

Yet as bright and articulate (every one including current PS teachers as well as her former daycare teachers have commented on her verbal skills) as she is it seems like she is just not ready to as another poster in this thread put it, sit down and get to the task of doing school work right now.

We are maybe a tad different than many here in that dd has been in childcare of some form since 13 mos. Yet this past year we pulled her from ft daycare and put her in a 9 hr a week preschool and having the extra time with her has been great. She is thriving and its been good and I can't help thinking that an additional year could be beneficial.

As it stands right now she will be going through the kindergarten screening in a few weeks but I can't say I have made a decision yet.
post #38 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by dancingmama View Post
I wouldn't assume "everyone" is holding back just because some are verbal about it. My younger dd has a Nov bday (Dec cut-off). I asked our principal about the incoming kindergarten classes for fall -- if there were other young ones, or all were red-shirted. She looked at the numbers and found 20 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2005. There were 9 kids with bdays spanning July through Dec 2004 (held back). The rest were somewhere in between.
Yep, that's a good idea,you can call your local schools and see what the trend is. Like I said, in Atlanta, in town, the wealthier families all seemed to hold their kids back from starting school to give them a leg up on sports and academics.
post #39 of 97
The earliest age they accept your child isnt THE age they HAVE to go. This term "red shirting" bothers me.

The law in my state says that they have to be in school by age 6 ( that fall) and first grade. I'm following the law. Just because I COULD have put my child in school does not mean that its in her best interest.

ODD is much more prepared and knows quite a bit of what she needs , was not pushed and it was mostly self directed. She would have been 5 for a month before starting last year and was no where ear ready.

So far no regrets! HTH

ETA: I kinda compare this term to breastfeeding age guidelines when someone says nurse "up to one year" and reads it "only one year".
post #40 of 97
Our school district has a January 31st cutoff. My daughter was born at the end of December. She is the youngest in her class, but not by a lot as she had several classmates turn 5 in October and November, as well as a handful that turned 6 in January/February/March. It depends a lot on the individual child, and I think blanket holding-kids-back is as bad as automatic enrollment with no regard to the child's abilities.

It's only May. Talk to the teachers and find out what they expect kids to be capable of at the beginning of school. Even if your child isn't up-to-standards yet, she has plenty of time to get there.
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