Evening Fussiness - Page 3

[Unconventional1]

I also wanted to add that if you do have a baby with these sensitivities, it can take a week to start seeing results, and 2-4 weeks before they are totally okay. Dairy proteins take an average of 3-4 weeks to fully leave the breast milk, so if you eliminate something give it time!

[bubbamummy]

it's so good to read all these replies and see that its 'normal'. DS was never fussy, he would seriously go days without crying at all. Molly, however is a different story. Last night she screamed for 3 hrs, with a scrunched up red face. I began to really wonder if something was dreadfully wrong with her. I even took her temp a few times. She rooted around searching for the boob, when I offered it she screamed harder she acted like my breastmilk was bleach.

I sent DH out to WalMart at 11:30pm to get some gas medicine but when he got back we were both asleep and she was fine the rest of the night - waking once at 2:30am to eat and that was it.

[smeisnotapirate]

I had another dairy and soy-intolerant infant (my DS). Took 3 long weeks on NO dairy or soy to figure it out. Only then did we realize he was allergic (badly) to nuts. I agree that it's much more common than it may seem. Keeping a food/symptom diary is a great idea and can only help you. If you don't find a pattern, then at least you can say with a good amount of certainty that it's NOT a food issue.

And I love the earplug idea. No solution will work instantly, and you need to keep your sanity to see it through. I've often turned up my iPod (with headphones in) and rocked DS in my chair.

Also, it took me a long time to realize that my DH was using the fact that DS was breastfed as an excuse to escape the tough parenting moments. DS would start to scream, DH would drop him in my lap and say "he needs to nurse!" regardless of what was going on, and then he'd disappear. Make sure that your DH isn't doing that. My DH had a really tough time transitioning to this loud, high-needs child we have, and it took some very stern words and me laying down the law to get him to really step up. Not saying that it's what your DH is doing, Jess, just that you need to make sure that he's not footing off the work of soothing on you because he feels helpless. I remember DH saying "I can't do anything for him because all he ever wants is the boob!" because he felt so helpless to soothe DS.

[jsh7809]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

Also, it took me a long time to realize that my DH was using the fact that DS was breastfed as an excuse to escape the tough parenting moments. DS would start to scream, DH would drop him in my lap and say "he needs to nurse!" regardless of what was going on, and then he'd disappear. Make sure that your DH isn't doing that. My DH had a really tough time transitioning to this loud, high-needs child we have, and it took some very stern words and me laying down the law to get him to really step up. Not saying that it's what your DH is doing, Jess, just that you need to make sure that he's not footing off the work of soothing on you because he feels helpless. I remember DH saying "I can't do anything for him because all he ever wants is the boob!" because he felt so helpless to soothe DS.

Aaah, totally! I know he doesn't mean it in a bad way but it does seem like part of the stress has been because I'm either breastfeeding a crying baby or the peaceful napping baby is with her father. Now that I'm spending a day on my own with her I'm realizing that although I was getting breaks from her, DH would either just swaddle the heck out of her and she would conk out, or after a bit of crying he would give her back to me for nursing. This was because BOTH of us were like "okay, I guess she needs to nurse again?" but it was still so exhausting.
I am very curious about seeing if a food is upsetting her but I'm so wiped and struggling just to feed myself. Almost every single thing I eat has dairy so that is a likely culprit if she's sensitive - but I honestly can't imagine trying to completely switch to a dairy free diet in the height of this other huge life change. I guess that means the crying can't be that bad?

I just wish I knew what "normal" newborns do, what "normal" crying and fussiness is. She pretty much always calms down if I nurse or walk her or sling her. But then she spends most of that calm time asleep.
I am learning to stop being so weirdly obsessive about if she's doing what she's "supposed" to be doing and just chill out and appreciate the sleeping calm however it comes!

[jsh7809]

Ladies, can y'all tell me again that this gets easier? She's only 16 days old today but the evening fussies are wearing me out after only a week and a half. Every day starting at 5 or even 4pm it's just cry cry cry, then something (usually boob or swaddle or sling) will calm her down for maybe 5 minutes, then cry again. UGH!!

[DoulaAlicia]

Originally Posted by jsh7809

Ladies, can y'all tell me again that this gets easier? She's only 16 days old today but the evening fussies are wearing me out after only a week and a half. Every day starting at 5 or even 4pm it's just cry cry cry, then something (usually boob or swaddle or sling) will calm her down for maybe 5 minutes, then cry again. UGH!!

Jess, you are in a tough place.....truly. And with so many others there with you. This is your first baby and she's crying a lot. You have every right to be "concerned" but let me tell you that this will be ok. I know right now it may seem like you are in a fog and you can not see your way out. I've felt like that postpartum before. It can be very upsetting and challenge your ideas and expectations. Remember this journey is that....twists, turns, dead ends. Lots of people can give you advice about reflux, colic, normal baby stuff but only YOU, this baby's Mama can figure out what works best for you. I think you have lots of information about what you can do but maybe you need to find your own unique way, maybe none of us are "right"!

Just know that you are strong, you can do this, your baby loves you, and you love your baby. Your intuition is usually SO much stronger than your DH when it comes to meeting the needs of your baby so listen to yourself. You are Mommy.

For example.....my baby has reflux and gas. My last one had it too. I've read all sorts of information and listened to lots of people. But this time solving things in a different way.....spreading out feedings to at least two hours has really helped this time. Even though stuff I read said make meals smaller and closer together. So I'm not feeding on demand most of the day which sucks for my theory! But works for my DS4. At night being propped up doesn't work so well like it is supposed to...he sleeps better next to me and on his back mostly even with reflux!? My point is, EXPERIMENT!!

You will find something you are ok with. And I bet by month 4 or 5 things will be MUCHHHHH easier. Also reform expectations. Expect to have challenging evenings for a while.....

I also strongly suggest cutting dairy out but TOTALLY understand you feel too overwhelmed to do so. I've done it this time as well for the last 2 or 3 weeks. But I manage to have toast or cereal with rice milk or eggs for breakfast, a sandwich or salad for lunch and meat/veggies for dinner or rice/beans/chicken...whatever. It's not as hard as you think if you just take it one meal at a time. You could start to do it slowly...cut it out of one meal then move on to the next the following day or the following week whatever works for you. I remember dealing with fussiness for 5 months last time so I'm a bit better this time about cutting out dairy. So far it hasn't worked too great....but we are still on antibiotics from my multiple infections since the birth and I'm thinking those might be bothering tummy too.

You can do it!!

[Shazer]

When DD was a baby, I had to cut out dairy. She did fine for the first two weeks of life and then turned into monster baby for a few nights. Cutting out dairy made a night and day difference. Later on, I had to cut out all starches, most legumes, grains, and nuts. So dairy was relatively easy to eliminate. Rice milk is a great alternative, and quite easy to make. Quite a lot of the mothers who frequent the traditional foods forum have dairy free families and might be able to give you some advice as well.

Anyway, to you mothers with the evening fussiness, I extend hugs to you. It can be so exhausting.

[jsh7809]

Thanks, ladies! I am going to try cutting out dairy, and stick to it for a week at least... I feel like I can manage a week. Nevermind that 90% of the food in our house has dairy in it - we need to go shopping anyway!
I was trying so hard to spread her feeding times out to at least 1.5 hours or 2 hours but I can't even imagine how to do it because of the screaming... I can't figure out any other way to comfort this baby than to nurse her! Argh.
Now I'm thinking also her little butt might be irritated, it looks pretty red. I wish there were just answers for this baby and what she needs... I appreciate all of the help and support! I realize there aren't necessarily solutions and answers like an equation, but it is so hard to trust myself and to try to figure out one thing at a time, as we can.

[rhiOrion]

we've got a case od frantic evening screamies right now. arms flailing everywhere. poor her. poor me- her nails are sharp!

[LenaC]

Yes, ouch, sharp baby nails. We are trying no dairy here too, although I slip up here and there. He emptied the entire content of his stomach twice today. I keep changing both of our outfits. He seems all right in the evenings, with some fussies, but I just let him go on the boob, and he falls asleep most of the time. DS1 would not go down easy like that. I know what you are dealing with Jess! I remember all I could do was get through the day, and by the end of it, I was sitting on the couch waiting for DH to get home to hand baby off cause I was pushed to my limits.

I'm really thinking reflux now. Any natural solutions, something other than taking prescribed meds? Poor little baby is spitting up so much...I'm kind of even thinking of giving up wheat and seeing if that helps. Orange juice also seemed to make things worse this morning, but it could've been just a coincidence. So hard to tell!