When your child returns injured / dirty - Page 2

[Halfasianmomma]

Yep...I also think it's all about CS; I feel that he wants (or "wanted"? I don't know anymore) shared custody so he doesn't have to pay me. Unfortunately, he's poorly informed. Little does he know that based on our salaries, I would only owe him 44$ a month, *and* he'd have to pay half of all expenses for DD.

[justmama]

well.. . . . . . . . . . .YOUR circumstances seem a little different. But if my kids went to their dad's and came home with a bloody nose, I'd just shake my head and say, "what happened this time?" Our kids are pretty rough and tumble and one is really super accident prone(she recently ran into someone's head at the YMCA playing and broke her nose) and so it wouldn't be a huge shock for them to come back injured even if he was RIGHT THERE watching. There are three of them, it's hard to be right next to all three at the playground. But if they were coming home injured or filthy and starving every single time(which mine are not), I would start to wonder how well supervised they were over there. Regarding being dirty though, my ex is a good dad. He really and truly loves our kids and wants the best for them. But he wouldn't notice if they had BLACK feet and super long toenails and grimy faces and hands and ate finger food after playing in the dirt. It just doesnt' occur to him that that might not be good. He showers them regularly but forgets to brush their teeth. But he always feeds them on time and won't leave them bloody or covered in vomit. And he knows his limits. Once someone starts barfing or wheezing, he calls.

[One_Girl]

If she is having a lot of injuries outside of the normal toddler ones then I think you should document them. I think coming home bloody is extreme, but maybe she had just recently bumped herself and she wasn't ready to be cleaned up yet. My dd has only bumped her nose hard enough to make it bleed once and it was very traumatic for her. I don't think that it is horrible that she gets dirty and doesn't change immediately before coming home. My dd went to a wonderful pre-school where she was allowed to explore the world and also frequentley came home dirty, she sometimes is still dirty during the day and we don't always have time to change. I consider getting dirty a sign of having fun and it sounds like she does have fun as long as she starts the day off in clean clothes. If your dd is hungry a lot when she is over there then she may need to know that it is okay to tell him she is hungry, how to tell him she is hungry, she may not like the food, or you may need to document that and find ways to make sure she has food immediately before going there and after coming home.