My divorce is final...

[Freedom~Mama]

I got the final stipulated divorce decree in the mail today signed and stamped by the judge. It feels a bit surreal and way more bittersweet than I thought it would. Today is suitably cloudy and dreary. Any ideas on what I could do to cheer myself up? I am very very glad to have it done though and now that chapter of my life is officially closed and I can start moving on...

[doubledutch]

i understand it's bittersweet, but i'm happy for your freedom. maybe there is some symbolic way to honor all the mixed feelings - to do something cleansing, to plant some kind of seeds for your future and to nourish those seeds/dreams.

cleansing may be lighting a candle or throwing something away (that reminds you of him or your old life), or just a literal ritual cleaning of your space (open the windows, wipe down the surfaces, change the sheets). the planting and feeding/water of seeds may be literally that or it might be writing out your hopes and intentions for your future, or initiating something (like opening a bank account, writing a first entry in a new journal, starting a blog, or going somewhere for the first time that you would like to start going regularly, like a park or beach or trail).

or just eat something yummy and give yourself and your girls a big hug.

[Phoenix~Mama]

Do something that you know he wouldn't let you do before. Go be you!!!

[NolaRiordan]

I felt exactly the same way when I got the final paperwork, signed, sealed and filed with the court. Hugs to you. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings-- both happy and sad.

How about calling up some girlfriends and having a nice evening of drinking wine and gabbing?

[Super~Single~Mama]

Congrats! It's bittersweet yes, but I feel like a big congrats is in order!!

[Freedom~Mama]

Thank you very much everyone. So far I have cried, ran some errands and bought some coffee. Now my little one is down for a nap and I am going to maybe take a bath or do something relaxing for awhile before I have to pick up my oldest at school.

[*MamaJen*]

I think all of us should drink a toast in your honor. You really, truly, finally escaped. It took enormous strength and you did it.
It's funny how it can still be bittersweet, even when the reality of it was really bad. I hope you do get to pamper yourself a little bit today, and remind yourself that the reason why you're doing this is because you are worthwhile, and you value yourself, and you value your children.

[MissLotus]

Good for you. I hope the next chapter of your life is beautiful and fulfilling!

[Bad Mama Jama]

i am so happy for you and i remember that feeling when i got divorced. go do something especially for yourself. whatever it is within your means that you may find luxurious or relaxing. you deserve it.

[Theia]

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. I understand the bittersweet, but that itself is an interesting word. The "bitter" part is first, and the "sweet" part is second, yet they are joined into a single word so they occur simultaneously. Don't forget the sweet.

[justmama]

Congratulations. I know it must be hard but congrats are in order because I know from seeing a few of your posts that the situation was NOT healthy and you are so much better off this way even if it hurts. I know I missed the day but I hope that it was healing and you closed that chapter in your life. Today begins new and you can make life what YOU want to make it instead of living for someone else.

[doubledutch]

i've been thinking about this and realized that, even though the reality of your marriage is something you are probably happy to shed, there is still a large loss in terms of the potential marriage, the loving relationship you thought you were entering when you got married. the loss of any dream is painful.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

MissLotus: Good for you. I hope the next chapter of your life is beautiful and fulfilling!