divorce hearing vs trail?

[organicpapayamama]

ok a little background. My divorce has been going on for WAY too long mostly because 1. i was pregnant at the time with DS and we needed to wait for him to be born and get a social and a legal name to do the whole custody child support thing. and 2. my stbx was just avoiding me and making everything difficult.

so we agreed to everything, its uncontested and we did the divorce on our own to save money on lawyers. we had a hearing last week because even though we both agree that I dont want him to pay child support the judge doesnt agree. Thats fine, ill do what ever the judge wants us to do in that regard. (please no lectures on why I should want child support or how my child deserves it...) So this hearing last week was to discuss that. my stbx was not required to show but he told me he would just in case the judge wanted to ask him questions and finally just get this over and done with. I agreed. Long story short he didnt show to the hearing so the judge scheduled a trail date for in about a month where it was mandatory for both he and I to show up.

my question is why was this last court date called a hearing and the next one a trial? are they the same thing? Is it a bigger deal? does it just indicate that its going to be the FINAL meeting and hopefully it will be done after that? I just hear the word trial and think of a jury and a big court room and someone going to jail. what does this mean? I know it just for child support and Im going to finally accept it because I cant justify him not paying even though I dont want it, but the term Trial has me scared.

[NolaRiordan]

I don't know. We only had a "conference" and a "hearing." Both of which were pretty similar and only lasted a few minutes. I would call the court if I were you and ask what the difference is. Usually you can find a clerk who can answer your questions.

[Goodmom2008]

In all likelihood, the reason for the hearing is because the judge isn't going to let the father off the hook when it comes to financially supporting the kids. And rightfully so.

It doesn't matter if you don't want the child support. It's not for you. It's for the kids. If you don't need the money, put it away in a savings account for when they go to college.

[lucysmom]

PP, the OP asked for no lectures on the child support issue ...

OP, my guess is that, while you both want to settle the case, the judge is using the trial as the ultimate leverage to get your ex to the table to actually resolve the outstanding issues. Legal cases go to trial. The only way off that track is for both parties to voluntarily settle the case short of trial, and settle means sign all the necessary papers, reach complete agreement on the terms, etc. Judge probably has little choice but to allow the case to go back on the default track, which is trial unless you guys take it off that track by completing a settlement of all the issues short of trial.

Any idea why your X didn't show, though?

Good luck!

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by lucysmom

PP, the OP asked for no lectures on the child support issue ...

OP, my guess is that, while you both want to settle the case, the judge is using the trial as the ultimate leverage to get your ex to the table to actually resolve the outstanding issues. Legal cases go to trial. The only way off that track is for both parties to voluntarily settle the case short of trial, and settle means sign all the necessary papers, reach complete agreement on the terms, etc. Judge probably has little choice but to allow the case to go back on the default track, which is trial unless you guys take it off that track by completing a settlement of all the issues short of trial.

Any idea why your X didn't show, though?

Good luck!

thanks! Yes I know this was all based on the child support issue, nothing else. as mentioned before we both agreed on no support but the judge doesnt agree so to get this done with we will both agree to paying child support if it what will make our divorce final.

as for why he didnt show... *sigh* I have to tell you first off that its going to be the most idiotic story you will ever hear so hold on. As mentioned originally it was not mandatory for him and I really dont like seeing him. But a couple days before the hearing I thought that even though I didnt like seeing him it would be better for him to show in case something like this came up where the judge wanted him to be there. I asked him and he agreed to come to speed up the process. So its the hearing date and Im there and hes not there. Im surprised and then the judge schedules a new trail date. I had left my phone in the car because the last time I was there, there was a no phone rule. This time I could have brought it in but would have had to turn it off in the courtroom anyway. So I walk back to the car and check my phone and I see that I have a text from my stbx. He says hes here at the courthouse. I call him and here is hour our conversation went:

me: hey... what do you mean you are here? where were you?
him: im sitting outside
me: what the heck? you missed our hearing?
him: huh?
me: you remember the hearing? the one at 8:30 am? the one that you are here for? why didnt you go in? where are you?
him: uh...Im sitting outside the courtroom.
me: are you serious? you came all the way here to the courthouse and you didnt think you had to go INSIDE the courtroom for your own hearing? WHAT?!!?!
him: well you said you didnt like seeing me
me: Yea, your not exactly my favorite person in the world but I asked you to come to speed this up, of course we need to see each other INSIDE the courtroom
him: ohhh.... so what now
me: so now we have to come back on ____ date and its mandatory that we both show. You will get something in the mail notifying you of this.
him: ok

Im mean seriously.... what a

[Avani]

The judge probably feels he will have to make the final decision so a trial is just a fancy word for looking over both sides and coming to a final agreement so it can be over with. Hearings can just keep going on and on. I'm still waiting for my divorce, three + years later and we are still doing hearing after hearing.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Avani

The judge probably feels he will have to make the final decision so a trial is just a fancy word for looking over both sides and coming to a final agreement so it can be over with. Hearings can just keep going on and on. I'm still waiting for my divorce, three + years later and we are still doing hearing after hearing.

yup I hear ya. I filed for divorce back in 2007.

[BabyBearsMummy]

organicpapayamama my ex did the same thing. While my lawyer and I were in the courtroom trying to get the issue dealt with my ex sat in the hallway outside looking blank.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by BabyBearsMummy

organicpapayamama my ex did the same thing. While my lawyer and I were in the courtroom trying to get the issue dealt with my ex sat in the hallway outside looking blank.

omg... how can they be so oblivious? do we know how to pick em or what? lol

[Sharlla]

Hmm, IDK We only went before the judge once and that was after the 30 day waiting period after you file. The judge asked us several questions and the whole thing was over in 10 mins. Maybe you have to go back because he didn't show up to the first one?

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Sharlla

Hmm, IDK We only went before the judge once and that was after the 30 day waiting period after you file. The judge asked us several questions and the whole thing was over in 10 mins. Maybe you have to go back because he didn't show up to the first one?

thats exactly why we are going back. I was just wondering why one was termed a hearing and this new one a trial. from what I have found online the two terms are used interchangeably.