Anyone deal with RO/Paternity Suit/Jail father?

[crazyeight]

My son was born 17 days ago. My exbf was released from prison 16 days ago. I have a RO and would like to continue having my address protected and him not allowed near my school, house, self unless explicitly told it's ok by me. ds2 is the only child that is his and he was in prison for DV with a weapon. I am not afraid that he is going to abuse me physically or the kids HOWEVER I do not feel comfortable with ANY sort of unsupervised visitation; whether it is sometimes by me or by a neutral 3rd party.

I know that he will try to contact me and he has written me letters however I have never responded. We will have to communicate and I don't feel afraid of him anymore...can I still have an RO? He is on probation but I am not sure of the exact conditions however I do believe that even without the RO he has been told/condition of probation is that he is not supposed to contact me even without the RO?

Anyway...I am with legal aid so that whenever the actual paperwork gets started I have someone to help me fill it out and not get hosed however what do i do now? Do i make a new RO that will have these new guidelines? Can i find out the specific details of his probation (i am also curious if hes on supervised prob, whether he's being drug tested etc)? Will it be better to show that I am not withholding a child from their father or better to continue keeping my distance? Should I wait for him to file paperwork b/c I really have not done any research on it yet and i'm up to my ears in court crap already (divorce).

Any questions/clarification can be had...didn't want to write a novel when it wasn't needed!

[lucysmom]

First, congratulations on your baby!

So, I take it that your divorce is from a different former partner than this guy?

You most likely should initiate a court proceeding (whatever it is called in your jurisdiction -- your legal aid attorney should be able to guide you here or actually represent you) to determine the arrangement with your new baby's dad. It is highly likely that there is a no contact order in place as a condition of probation in the DV case on which he just got released. Yes, you should be able to find that out readily from the court -- those are public records. A no contact order is pretty routine practice for defendants convicted of DV offenses nationally. You should still check to make sure though.

If you start a family law case to establish a parenting plan for your new baby, it is also highly likely that, with a finding of DV, the court will order supervised visits until he has completed treatment, or fulfilled other conditions; and may grant you sole decision-making regarding the baby, and possibly other provisions that will make it less problematic to deal with your ex in your baby's life. (Caveat that I know nothing about Arizona law, but that is pretty standard nationally.)

[crazyeight]

yes different parent than my divorce.

from what my exbf's mom tells me he is going to pretty easy to deal with for now. that he says he is just going to do whatever it takes to be able to see his son.

i'm going to try and get to the court house tomorrow (today is just shaping up to be a bad day!) and get my RO modified for communication. i'm hoping this will be easy and a.) still give me a protected address so when we do the paperwork for ds2 i still don't have to put my info down and b.) also legally allow him to have communication with me even though he has been ordered (assumably) not to contact me at all b/c technically if his probation officer doesn't like him and found out he and i were talking they could send him back. i do NOT want that in any way shape or form get twisted around to ME being the one "ripping him away from his son" or using him etc.

i'll have to relook him up on our countys website but i may have to call around to get specifics on his probation details.

also i called legal aid to ask them some of this and basically they told me i need to talk to my lawyer they assigned me (even though that lawyer is for my DIVORCE case not this case and i fear he could charge me for this...) to ask if i can even start this paperwork for ds2 (in az law it IS assumed that any child born within 10 months of a divorce is the exh HOWEVER i am not assuming, nor did i even attempt to put exh as the father so i think it's a moot point) but really i HAVE to be allowed to do this paperwork i would think cause if not then i would be technically withholding a child from his parent (when he files paperwork/asks for visitation i mean)!