I think I want another baby...

[madskye]

We currently have 1 DD, who just turned five. I work 30 hours, mostly from home, but with some travel and a few days a month in "the city" about 90 minutes from us. I am a consultant on retainer, so my health benefits are through my husbands job. My main client is based in Europe, and I don't even know what they do for maternity or how what the expectation would be of what I would do if I were to get preg and give birth. I love this job and don't want to lose it--I want to be able to work from home, in my field, and be home in the afternoons and mornings for DD to fit with her school schedule. I feel like it's going to be even more important as she gets older and more peer influenced.

When I had DD, my brain turned to Swiss cheese and it took about a year to get back to being mentally sharp.

I also had DD in daycare that we loved when she was an infant, but the babyroom caregiver there has retired, so I would be back at square one. And I work from home now, so maybe I would look for another option.

DD is going to kindy in the Fall, so I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as far as paying $800 per month for daycare...do I want to sign up for 5 more years of daycare?

DD is also a big girl now, and we can do things again. I'm not tired anymore! I just lost a load of weight last year....

Am I nuts? I know DH wants another, too. I think we would have had one two years ago, but he was briefly laid off in 2007 and it kind of freaked us out and made us put a lot of plans on hold.

Anyone else want a baby? Anyone else going for it? Anyone else as conflicted about it as me? Last time, I got pregnant first try, but now I am 41 and it might be very different process.

[akind1]

I don't think you are nuts! I am not exactly in the same boat you are in (DS is 5 months old, not 5 years old) but I get how you feel. I work full time, but am able to do 3 days at home and 2 in the office. working on being able to fully telecommute. DH does some freelance work but is mostly a SAHD. We don't have DS in daycare at all, and if we did need childcare I think I'd lean towards an in-home daycare situation, myself.

Since you do work at home, is it possible to have the baby at home with you while you work? Especially when he or she is small, and basically eats, sleeps, and poops? It has been very easy to keep DS with me while I'm WAH - he isn't mobile yet - once he is, it may be another story! Or are there any less expensive, but more viable options for childcare?

And it may take longer to fall pregnant, but you might right away again, I think what you may end up doing is deciding whether you would be ok mentally and emotionally if your DD was your only child, and if you would feel dissappointed or incomplete if you didn't at least try for one more.

For me, it's the second. I love DS dearly of course, and maybe because I do, I want more to love on! I would be really sad, I don't know if I'd be exactly devastated, but close, if I were unable to have any more. but some people would be perfectly fine with just 1.

[lyterae]

I'm in the same boat, we can't afford the dual daycare so at this point I figure I have to wait until at least fall of this year (DD starts Kindergarten in Fall 2011) so that when the baby arrived our daycare costs would be manageable. Granted we are also trying to dig ourselves out of debt and we are considering waiting until that is "done" first.. Either way, DD will most likely be 5 or 6 before she is a big sister.

We had never intended to have children that far apart but our dd was a "surprise", this is now about the time in our lives we had expected to have children.

[biophdmom]

i totally have baby fever right now. my dd is 28 mo though and would still be in daycare for another 3 years! i work full time but don't get paid much as new phd (postdoc'ing in academia). The idea of paying for two in daycare is scaring me off a second but i don't want to wait until she's 5 and going to kindergarten!! dh has been talking about a second for a while too but financially i'm nervous!