To Nap or Not to Nap

[physmom]

This is a WWYD situation. We've been trying to get DD to give up naps. She always seems to need less sleep than most (and she's not showing tired signs during the day either). Anyways, if she takes a nap she normally won't fall sleep until 2/3pm and then sleep for 2-3 hours (she wakes up at 7-8am in the mornings). If she doesn't takes a nap she'll go down early like 6pm (the very latest is 8 but I'm pretty sure she was teething that day) and if she does take a nap she won't go to sleep until 10 pm. So it's 13-14 hours of sleep a day vs. 11-13 hours of sleep if she does take a nap (but normally closer to 11).

So it seems like a no-brainer, right? Skip the nap and just have her sleep more at night? The only issue is that sometimes she doesn't make it until 6pm and goes to bed a little before 5 (like last night) and then decides 3 am is the new wake up time . She'll eventually go back to bed but not for a good 2 hours. It's not everyday but it definitely does happen.

Also, when she sleeps more at night she's SUPER HYPER. Like non-stop craziness (actually she's normally very active but I'm talking lightning speed active). Is this just because she's finally getting enough sleep? I'm not sure if I can handle it!

[ellemenope]

I have to reply because your DD reminds me so much of my DD at that age!

I too have a child who seems to have boundless energy during the day. She seemed to have been born with an adult sleep schedule. At 5 weeks, she started sleeping 12 hours through the night and the nap struggles began. Sleep signals? What are those? I don't know. I didn't believe they existed until I met my neice.

At 13 months, DD never seemed to need a nap. Or, if she did, it was like at 6:00pm. (More of a bedtime than a naptime)

Luckily, I felt internal pressure to not give up the nap. I personally felt up until some arbitrary age children needed naps. So, even though she went many days with no naps and was perfectly fine; even though she would not even seem tired or cranky at 9:00pm, and the no nap days made bedtime easier, I NEVER COMMITTED TO GIVING UP NAPS.

Here's what I did (what i had to do): At around 13 months I began tricking her into taking a nap earlier in the day. My best weapon, the ergo. I found that I could get her to nap insanely early, only a couple of hours after she woke up that morning.

She did not think she was ready for a nap. She would be perfectly happy to play all day. But, I scooped her up and threw her on my back. I played her music and danced around. She fell asleep within 15 minutes.

Now, she only sleeps for about an hour. But, then she is perfect the rest of the day. Doesn't fall asleep in the car, can go all night.

Maybe this was only for my piece of mind. I don't know. But, I will tell you at 21 months (just a couple of weeks ago,) she developed a more mature emotional range, if you will. I have noticed when she is tired she can get very offended and meltdown easier.

If she doesn't get a nap now I could look at her wrong, and she will just get upset and run into a corner and cry. So, naps have become VITAL.

Bottom line: I guess I was afraid that, even though I wasn't seeing it, she might have not been as well rested in the afternoon when she skipped the nap. I wanted her to be firing on all cylinders all day long.

You can certainly try no napping it for weeks, even months, and always go back to the nap. You know your child best. I experimented for weeks before I figured things out. And, then they change, and its back to the drawing board...good luck!

I love hearing about your little girl. She is awesome!

[kdtmom2be]

At 18 months? I'd be pushing for the nap. But, like PP said, get her to nap earlier. Have lunch early, like 11 or 11:30, then lay in bed and read a book, then nurse if you're still nursing, nice and quiet and dark if possible... you know, all the "sleepy-time" cues. With a full tummy and some mommy-love she should be convinced of sleeping pretty quickly. Then, she should be up early enough from her nap to go to bed at a reasonable time.

[~cassie~]

I would try to enforce the nap as well. Can you wake her extra early and then try and put her down right after lunch and not let her sleep past 2-3pm? Maybe one day let her take a late nap and then put her to bed at 10 or so, wake up at 5am, then put down for an earlier nap and hopefully you can reset the schedule a bit. I've found after a week or two of doing that helps get them back on a 'normal' napping schedule if they get off it.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by ellemenope

I love hearing about your little girl. She is awesome!

Ah, thanks!!!


About trying to get an earlier nap in. We've REALLY, REALLY tried this!! We've tried having completely calm mornings, or completely busy ones with lots of outdoor activities. We've tried going on long walks (both in our carrier or stroller). We've tried waking her up earlier. And also making sure she eats a ton too. We open all the windows in the mornings to get a lot of sunshine in and then when we try and get her to take a nap we use black out curtains and a sound machine. We've also tried reading to hear and pretending we were asleep to calm her down. Nothing seems to work!

I finally came to the conclusion that she just doesn't need that early nap after trying a long, long time to get her to take one. It really stinks because all of her playmates take early naps so we've had to miss out on a lot with them.



As for yesterday. We got a 30 minute nap in the carrier at about 3pm because we were out running errands. Just that alone was enough to keep her awake until almost 9pm at night (vs. between 5-6 when she doesn't get a nap)! Ahh!! Although, it turns out she's got another molar coming so that's not helping things either. AND DH is gone this week and the days that she is up late enough to talk to him (he can only talk after 5:30/6) she is really, really energized and won't fall asleep (and keeps asking to talk to him some more on skype). I think that really might be part of the problem when he's not traveling too. She waits for him to come home from work and then she gets so much energy from just seeing him at night that she really has a hard time settling down to fall asleep.

[alegna]

I'd follow her lead. Sounds like she really needs a nap- that's really young to not have one at all. My kids have always had later bed times and it works out okay.

-Angela

[mlh]

I am not sure what the proper way to handle this would be...but, I can tell you what I do. I had the same thing going on (and still do) with my 3 yr old. At around 2.5 I started taking away her naps because she wouldn't go to bed until 9 or 10. Without a nap I can put her to bed at 7 which is the same time her older sister goes to bed and this works better for the family. There are days when she falls asleep in the car or on the couch and I call these her catch up days. We do have the times when she is really tired about 5 pm and we have to keep her entertained to keep her from falling asleep...which can go against your instincts but for the sake of a sane household, we make her hold off. Then there are the days when we know we will all be up later than usual and I have her take naps on these days. So, yes follow her lead, but also do what is going to make you and her comfortable and the day flow the best.

[physmom]

I meant to update this earlier but I've been busy lately. Anyways, I think we've come to the conclusion that the problem is because of DH!

No, he's no bad guy but DD LOVES her dad and wants to be awake every second that he's home. So during the weekdays she doesn't nap because she's not going to see him much anyways and on the weekend she always seems to nap and then stays up until 10pm . He was gone for work last week and without fail the days she got to talk to him on skype she was up really late (and kept asking to talk to him again and again!) no matter how much of a nap she got in prior to that.

On the weekends when he's home she's a COMPLETELY different child and tends to be a lot fussier (probably because it's impossible to get her to sleep!).

Anybody have any thoughts on how to help her sleep even when DH is home????

[DanielleT]

My DH works away ALOT but when he's home i ensure that nothing changes...we maintain the same routine whether he's home or not that way my DD (2yrs) knows what to expect regardless of where her dad is and she too gets to talk to her dad via phone or skype but it's more like 7pm so not to disrupt bedtime routines...now about the daytime naps well sometimes she wants to nap and other days she doesn't but i enforce a early afternoon nap/relax time...if she doesn't sleep then so be it maybe she doesn't need it that day other days she does and both are ok....i can't force her to actually sleep but kids (as do adults) need some time in the day just to chill and relax, re-energize....Some kids just dont' need as much sleep than others!