Apart from screaming 'stop whining'..

[lovesea]

...how do you deal with the constant whining? DS is nearly 4 and seems to never stop. He seems to be constantly either in tears or on the verge of tears. The other day at the park, as he had yet another crying fit, I looked around at all the other kids playing happily and thought to myself 'what's wrong with him? Why can't he just play like the other kids?'

[minkajane]

I feel your pain. DS is 5 and we still have days like this. It seems like the whining gets a lot worse when he's going through a growth spurt. Wish I knew what to tell ya, except that the good days generally outnumber the bad now. It just doesn't seem that way sometimes because the bad days kinda cluster together.

[deditus]

We are working on the "I Can Problem Solve" program by Myrna B. Shure to help my shy, anxious dd learn to use her words. There are age specific books with exercises that are mainly geared towards schools, but she also has lots of information in the book Raising A Thinking Child.

[momtoTnT]

Well....I tell my kids that "I don't speak whine" - they need to speak to me in their regular voice. When that fails, I sometimes whine back, which they think is hilarious - they also agree it doesn't sound very nice to their ears.

[reezley]

My 3 year old often uses a whine or yelp as his first attempt to communicate, and it's getting kind of old! He can talk perfectly well (for a 3yo anyway) but he sometimes doesn't remember he can talk now or something! I often say "I just can't understand that voice. Can you use real words please?" or "I don't know what that sound means. Can you tell me what you need?"

My other thought about your son's general mood is to wonder if he's tired, getting to bed early enough? Still needs a nap sometimes? Just a thought, no idea what your sleep schedule is like obviously.

[AllisonR]

I just very naturally say "what did you say?" or "I can't understand what you are saying" or "I can't hear your words when you whine." I mean I really act as if I really can not understand a word they say, and I continue with whatever I was doing. If they are having a really hard time, I hold their hand, or pick them up and hug them.... and say "I''m really sorry, but when you whine, I can't understand you at all. What are you saying?"

It works wonders. My 5yo and 3yo will take a deep breath and repeat themselves in a better voice. Occasionally it takes two or three tries of me saying "what?" but usually it only takes once. BTW, it was another MDC momma who suggested this, and it works great!

[attached2ethan]

My 4yo gets like this mainly when he's overtired, so I'd definitely check the bedtime and wake time to make sure your little one is getting enough sleep...other days he's perfectly happy and content. But man, when he's feeling whiny, it can drive me up the wall.

I do exactly what the others mentioned- very casually and calmly keep repeating that I cannot understand what he is saying in the whiny voice. Sometimes I demonstrate what a whiny voice sounds like versus a regular tone, and he seems to respond well to that when he's not too upset. If he's really upset and cannot calm down, I look at him or hold him and remind him that I really WANT to hear what he's saying, but I just cannot until he calms down. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't- but sticking to it has curbed our whining a LOT. He just wants to be heard, and I make it clear that I'm glad to hear as long as I'm not being screamed at.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Treyson'sMommy

Well....I tell my kids that "I don't speak whine" - they need to speak to me in their regular voice.

This. I never answered a whiny request. Ever. Cause it would set a pattern in motion that "that's what works with mom".