aggressive toddler, gentle older sister

[neverdoingitagain]

Ugh..what am I going to do with these girls?

I have 2 children, one turning 6 in a couple weeks and a 2 year old. My soon-to-be 6 year old is fairly gentle(now) though she did go through a hitting/throwing stage at the age her sister is in. My 2 year old on the other hand; hits, throws, climbs and jumps on everyone(except her dad. Go figure)

Anyway, I'm finding that almost daily(hourly?) I having to deal with my youngest hitting SOMEONE or throwing stuff at people when she's upset. My oldest will often sit there and take it, all the while crying about her sister hitting her I've told her repeatedly "If Rhiannon hits you or is hurting you, get up and walk away from her. You don't need to take it."

They get along very well when they aren't trying to beat on each other. I'm just not sure how to deal with my youngest aggressiveness. It was so much easier with just one!

[Raine822]

Are there specific triggers to the hitting? I found that addressing the reason for the younger one's hitting is very effective.

My DDs are 19 mos and 2 mos. I have had a similar issue with my 19mo trying to hit or push my 2mo off my lap ect. Because her issue was specifically wanting moms undivided attention I set aside an hour each day to spend 1 on 1 time with her. This has reduced the aggression a lot. When she does hit her sister she is not allowed by her until she calms. (usually happins when both are in my lap and she wants to be the only one) so she is not allowed in mommy's lap for a few minutes when she hits.

[neverdoingitagain]

Specific triggers....
Well, not getting what she wants is a pretty big one She does get upset when her older sister has our attention but she mainly gets upset when she doesn't get what she wants.
For example, she wanted an egg to eat. So I cracked an egg into a bowl and put into the microwave to cook. She got very upset because she wanted her egg NOW! She tried to open the door, started to hit me, push me out of the way and finally grabbed some tissue and threw it at me(ok, I had to really hide my smile at that one ) I figure the next time I'm going to show her the egg so she knows its not hard boiled.
I think another piece of it is her language skills. She's just starting to have a real explosion the past couple weeks but she still has a ways to go.

What can I do about my oldest though? She's big enough to get out of the way when her sister starts attacking her but she.just.won't.do.it