Are we doing enough?? Teen daughter of a friend misinformed?

[earthmommy2]

My friend's daughter was bf, her son was bf, and she even nursed twins. Yet yesterday her teen daughter said to me (we were walking the mall) how disgusted she was, pointing out a nursing mom, for being so "vulgar." I was distraught and of course went into Lactavist mode and reminded her as gently as I could in our situation that it is a normal form to feed your baby and what is best. She proceeded to give me her rant, mind you tried to keep myself together through it, telling me how woman practically walk around with their shirts off when nursing. I was shocked. This coming from a BF kid? And with such rage?? Was I doing enough to teach my kids that this is the proper way to feed your baby?? That this is the most acceptable and most desired food for babies??

THoughts?? I just needed to tell someone...

[Emmeline II]

Perhaps she just wanted to rant and/or get a rise out of you or her mother. I used to do that with my parents .

[Sarah W]

I don't think she's misinformed. I think she's at an age where she's forming her own opinions, dealing with sexuality and her beliefs about her own body. I think at that age insecurities kind of come to a head,t oo.

I don't think it means she thinks BF is wrong or that she eventually won't support BFIP. It is hard to hear it, especially when it flies in the face of everything they've been taught. I think with time, she'll end up coming around.

[Sarah W]

OMG, could I have said the word "think" any more in that post?

[Lineymom]

I hate to say it, but as a teen I might have said the same and I was bf. I used to get so embarassed and actually angry w/ my mom when she mentioned that she bfed me for 18 months (that was way too long, lol) It wasn't until I was nursing my 1st at 2 that I got over it. My goal is to keep my kids from ever batting at eye about nip. I hope I can succeed.

[mamadelbosque]

Originally Posted by Lineymom

I hate to say it, but as a teen I might have said the same and I was bf. I used to get so embarassed and actually angry w/ my mom when she mentioned that she bfed me for 18 months (that was way too long, lol) It wasn't until I was nursing my 1st at 2 that I got over it. My goal is to keep my kids from ever batting at eye about nip. I hope I can succeed.

Yeah that. Only, I nursed till my 4th b-day as my mom likes to remind me... I always found it slightly embarrasing growing up... But, I nip all the time now

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

i think it's probably a teen/older child thing as when younger i was often embarrassed when my mum mentioned i was bf although obviously now i'm complete opposite i'm now bf my 4th lo (2nd beyond 2yrs), i think my problem was i didn't really know much about bf only thing i was ever told was that the reason we have breasts is to bf but she also told me that it really hurt and that i had ruined her breasts i didn't like the idea of this. it wasn't till i had my dd. chloe that i realised i didn't hurt (well not much and only for a couple of days) and bf doesn't ruin breasts, i was a teeny 34 a BBF (before breast feeding) and now am now 38c ( soz tmi)

[proudmomof4]

Originally Posted by Sarah W

OMG, could I have said the word "think" any more in that post?

Hey, nothing wrong with "think" while you're in the process of writing!

Back to the topic: I think (!) along the same lines - this reaction is more about body image and finding one's place, and ultimately dealing with the very mixed messages thrown at women.

She'll probably get there in due time.

[jocelynr]

I was a La Leche kid growing up. Heck, my mom is still an active leader to this day. I never reacted the way that girl did, but I used to make fun of LLL and mom's involvement in it. Sometimes I got embarrassed that other teens would come to my house and see breastfeeding stuff all over the place. Once in college a guy (who was a friend of my sister's boyfriend) got all quiet after peeking in to say hey to mom b/c he actually saw one of her friends nursing a toddler. When we got to the basement, he was like "I saw her boob!!!" We were only slightly embarrassed at that point (getting older, more mature).

Anyway, all that to say that while I didn't react as strongly as that girl, I did get embarrassed about it and picked on my mom a bunch. Now, I'm a leader nursing my almost 21 month old with no end in sight. Gasp, I nurse all the time in public, around my teenage sisters and their friends, at church, etc.

[crunchy_mommy]

Before I had kids I remember seeing my cousin BF her twins & I was shocked that she let her nipple show in front of everyone including *gasp* MEN! Now I have been BF'ing for 15mos & have NIP everywhere (much to my MOM'S embarrassment even though my mom BF all 4 kids!) even walking down the side of the road with a not-as-discreet-as-I'd-like shirt.

My SIL got pregnant as a teen and was grossed out by BF'ing & didn't think she'd want to do it... then she thought she'd try but she was horrified at the thought of getting BF'ing supplies at her shower & refused to register for a breast pump. We'll she's still BF'ing her 9mo & has finally even gotten comfortable enough to BF in front of others at my inlaws' house.

I think teens are just at a funny age where even normal things (like mom dropping you off for soccer practice) are mortifyingly embarassing...

[Annie Mac]

Yup, what everyone else said. Teenagers are funny creatures. When my daughter was a bit younger (like around 13, 14), she said some astonishingly horrible things. Stuff that she NEVER would have picked up at home! But she said it to shock, I think, and to distance herself from her family, which is important in developing independence. She got over it. I bet when this girl gets older, if she has children, she'll nurse them.

[Frootloop]

Originally Posted by Annie Mac

Yup, what everyone else said. Teenagers are funny creatures. When my daughter was a bit younger (like around 13, 14), she said some astonishingly horrible things. Stuff that she NEVER would have picked up at home! But she said it to shock, I think, and to distance herself from her family, which is important in developing independence. She got over it. I bet when this girl gets older, if she has children, she'll nurse them.

My DD just turned 13 and has also said some things recently that have completely thrown me and her stepmom for a loop since I know for a fact that she has never heard anything but positivity in regard to breastfeeding from us. She says it's "absolutely disgusting". Since she's my last child, obviously I've never nursed in front of her, however, her stepmom has nursed two boys with DD around plenty of times and DD didn't seem put off by it in the slightest.

I suspect it's something our DDs will all grow out of. I really think that with DD, at least, it's just an *ewwww, naked bodies are so disgusting* kind of phase that most of us went through. I mean, this is a kid that feels the need to pretend gag every time we walk past a lingerie store with bras and panties on the mannequins lol!

[jildez]

i agree, its a natural stage, i think. i am the oldest of 7 extended bfed children, and i was soo embarassed of it, that said, now i am planning or extended bfing myself.