Do YOU enforce non-enforced dress codes? Should ! - Page 2

[philomom]

Originally Posted by EFmom

The dress code I enforce.

Our schools have a very sensible and reasonable dress code. I happen to think uniforms in public schools are an opressive abomination, and I think that by enforcing the eminently reasonable dress code, I do my part to keep the uniform enthusiasts from gaining ground.

So, while every other girl in junior high may wear Daisy Dukes (according to my dd), she may not, and her shorts need to cover her behind.

I've been very firm and very consistent about this from the get-go. So while dd will try to push the envelope when the seasons initially change, she gets nowhere with me, and she stops whining after a day or two. It's actually pretty stress-free.

You stole my post! I do something very similar with my kids. Also, I find that bringing up the enforcing of the dress code to the principal helps a lot. They can talk to all the teachers at the staff meetings and such. School is for learning. Not for showing off your "assets".

[EFmom]

Originally Posted by lerlerler

FYI. our public school is the only district in the country with a district wide uniform policy (there was gang trouble 20 years ago and it stopped a lot of violence - WAY better area now but the policy never left) and while as a libertarian I HATE HATE HATE the idea? As a Mom? It's kind of nice... navy bottoms (any) navy or white tops (any collared) ANY shoes/tights/hair bows/leg warmers... No logos at all.

It's fun to see the way the kids accessorize and show their personalities within these parameters...

Navy tulle skirts and white frilly tops with tye dye leggings, pink giant hairbow and mismatched high tops? Good!

Bermudas and a boys polo with track shoes? also good.

I hated the idea but now I really like it

Yes, it's a legal thing and the FIRST thing I did was look to see where the law lie. I found the (very non-publicized) form that allows a parent to "opt-out" of the uniform code.. and only after I found the form could I make peace with the concept - but no one opts out.

So come to the dark side.... the kids in the salvation army clothes look no different from the kids from the yacht club.... unless they want to. We have a very diverse school and it really takes the stigma away

(the middle schoolers wear black bottoms and the high schoolers wear khaki)

Nope, not ever. You can keep the dark side. I'm sure some parents like them, you included. I think they are unconscionable.

I went to a horrible catholic elementary school that had uniforms. It was demeaning. The kids still managed to work in status symbols, so I'm not buying for a minute that stigmas magically disappear. I can dress my kids very reasonably buy shopping intelligently without having to make them feel like clones, thankyouverymuch.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by lerlerler

we've tried every possible sock option and fiber - but the "turn 'em inside out" thing may be worth a go.

And i KNEW I'd get a few SPD or "sensory issue" posts but other than socks? Nothing!!

All foods- any texture/temperature are OK
All clothes - even her horribly polyester soccer jersey that makes my skin crawl just looking at it....

Shoes she will willingly wear - but remove at the earliest convinient moment... there's always a pile of shoes in the car and the bike trailer the MINUTE she gets out of school they are off...

She just likes her toes....

Since it's only a sock (and to a milder degree shoe) thing and she has no other sensory issues, I would wonder if she really has a foot issue. It might be that her feet just get really hot, or sweaty, or she has athlete's foot, etc.

[WaitingForKiddos]

No idea how to help you but as a kid I freaked out at socks and most shoes. I grew out of it...mostly. Now my socks have to be the funky ones with prints and I wear mostly sandals and Converse. So, shell be able to function as an adult no matter if she wears socks or not.

[limabean]

I just wanted to mention that they sell convertible tights like these, that have a hemmed hole in the bottom of the foot so that you can wear them as footed or footless tights. They don't bunch up like footed tights with the toes cut off do. That might be a good option for dance, so that she can pull them up and down depending on the teacher instead of having to change completely.

[karne]

This doesn't help you in any way, but I wanted to say that at my dd's jr. high the kids seem to barely be able to contain themselves when it comes to socks and shoes. Basically, as soon as the temos are above fifty degrees there is an outbrak of sandals, flip flops, sockless feet, etc. Probably not the best choice for school, but I know my dd cannot wait to get out of socks and shoes and into flip flops!

Also, our dance studio allows barefoot dance.

[Ornery]

If I were in your situation and I knew my dd didn't have any sensory issues, I would talk with the teachers and ask them how important that rule is. If it is important to them, I would ask them to talk with my dd. I find in some situations that another adult talking to my child can stop battles between us.

Again, that is only for my child because I know for my child it would not be about sensory issues.

I feel for you as I have an ongoing discussion with my dd about open toed shoes. They are not allowed at her school (even though it seems like every other child there wears them) and she loves wearing them. We've compromised and on the last day of school she will wear a pair.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I would definitely have her ped. check to be sure there isn't a medical reason that socks/shoes feel uncomfortable for her, as well as investigate the possibility of a sensory issue. You may be able to fix the root cause of the problem, which is much better, IMHO, than just dealing with the "rule" issue.

Then I think I would clarify with the schools just how important this is. If they shrug, then I would say they are her feet and her choice. But I also wouldn't have much sympathy for blisters and smelly shoes. If the teachers do think its important, then I would work with them on an enforcement plan that can be uniformly applied to all of the children.

[lnitti]

you know, they are her feet. I don't think you should force her to wear socks.

I am a huge fan of natural consequences as age appropriate.

If it is cold and my kids don't want to wear their coat, I don't make them. I do take the coat in case they change their mind.

I say let her go sock-less and bear the consequences.

If the consequence it getting dirtier stinkier feet (and thus needed to clean them everyday - shower, bath, etc), that is fine. In my house, I would say if your feet are filthy, you need to clean them before you can walk all over the house - just as we take shoes off inside.

if the consequence is blisters from ballet or whatever, then she will have to deal with that pain and I would tell her it is less likely to happen with the footed tights.

Another consequence that may happen is her teacher or ballet instructor calling her on the broken rule. I'd have an extra pair of socks or tights with her (or at school) so she can rectify the situation.

I would also encourage her to explain to her teacher that wearing socks on her feet is uncomfortable and see if there may be a work around. You may want to approach the teachers yourself to see how strict the rule is and what you can do.