41 weeks and getting nervous

[Mama2010]

This is my first baby and I am currently 41 weeks. I have a home birth midwife and a set of midwives I see at my OBGYN's as medical backup.

My home birth midwife is amazing and I trust her completely. She doesn't seem concerned at all that labor hasn't started and from everything I have read/heard I know I shouldn't be that worried either as sometimes babies need to cook longer (especially with first time Moms). My concern is my OBGYN's midwives wanted to see me if I go a week over so I have an appointment with them tomorrow. I am so scared that they are going to want to induce. I am scared that they will scare me with all the things that could happen if I continue to 42 weeks and will try to intimidate me into an induction. Obviously if that is what is best for the baby and I then I would do it but considering they haven't been supportive of home birth I am afraid they will take this opportunity to try and stop it.

I don't know why I am writing this really, I guess I just want some reassurance that he will come out because I feel SO far away from labor. I have tried everything I can think of. I walk miles and miles everyday, have lots of sex, have eaten all the foods people tell you to eat, nipple stimulation, bouncing on my birth ball, dancing, etc. and nothing. I have tons of Braxton hicks and every now and then I will get cramping but nothing beyond that. Is there anything else I can do? I feel like at this point I have tried everything and it's just up to him when he decides to come. I was in tears last night worried about this. I just feel like I have this clock hanging over my head and I don't know how not to worry over this.

[HappyMommy2]

Cancel that OB appt! If you are nervous, go see your HB midwife.

If the OB keeps calling, just keep stalling. If they pressure you, agree to an appt 2-3 days away... and then have some kind of emergency that requires you to reschedule a day or two later after that. Repeat as necessary.

41 weeks is average according to my midwife and her clients' experiences! 41 weeks is not 42 weeks. And 42 weeks is still ok! After 43 weeks, then you can start to worry.

My first was 10 days after 40 weeks and my second was 42 weeks exactly. Notice I did not say "late"... they were on time according to their own needs.

Good luck mama!!

[BathrobeGoddess]

All my kids have been born between 10-17 days "late" My last baby, I was very worried about risking out of my vbac at home because I would have been really pressured for a repeat c in the hospital. I had very aggressive acupuncture done ever day for three days...I do think it helped!

[DirtRoadMama]

I agree with HappyMommy2 about how to handle those appointments.

Or, you can go to that appointment, agree to a scheduled induction, and then start putting off the induction. Personally, I'd not go with choice #2, since you have a fear that they will try to force you into something, and people can smell fear.

Again, I agree with Happy. Call your HB midwife for some reassurance! Do you have a doula? If so, maybe she could help you relax a little bit. If not, how about some relaxation yoga, some scented oils, or a swim in an indoor pool (at a local hotel?)? Maybe you could take what I call a "pretty mama day". Get your hair trimmed, get a mani and pedi, and something very calorie laden to snack on... Anything to help you relax. For me, as soon as I was truly enjoying my last hours of "freedom", the time seemed to fly by.

My DD was born at 41 weeks and 3 days. She was just under 8 pounds. Her placenta was HUGE and perfectly healthy.

[Halfasianmomma]

Ditto on what the pp said. My DD was born at 42 wks + 1, a healthy 6 pounds 15 ounces. I just stalled and stalled, kept telling myself that DD wasn't ready (or that *I* wasn't ready!).

I also tried a whole bunch of stuff to get her to come out, and nothing worked. I didn't try acupuncture though, and I regret that. I ended up giving into an induction (ruptured my water and when that didn't work, a 3.5 hr course of pit, i.e. HELL), and though it went relatively smoothly, and DD was out about 14 hrs later, I still wonder to this day what would have happened if I had just been more stubborn/patient.

[Mama2010]

I would cancel the appointment (heck I didn't even want to make it in the first place) but my HB midwife thinks it is a good idea to go at 41 weeks and have the biophysical profile done just to make sure everything is going well. She said if they try to push an induction to stand strong and tell them I refuse to do that until 42 weeks. If I make it to 42 weeks my HB midwife will try a home induction as she doesn't like for her patients to go over that. Obviously I would like to avoid any type of induction.

I feel like my body is trying to start labor with the braxton hicks and occasional cramping but it's just not there yet. I am finding it really hard to be patient and just trust my body at this point. Maybe I do need a relaxing day full of pampering myself.

[DirtRoadMama]

Oh, my, it does sound like you are getting more outside pressure than your first post seemed to say. Awww, that sucks!

If you don't want your HB midwife to induce you at 42 weeks, then just don't let her! Who gives a flying flip how long anyone, other than your baby, wants or doesn't want to go over? I'm sorry, but the phrasing of "my HB midwife will try a home induction" just ticks me off to no end (the bold, italic, underlining was mine).

It's YOUR body, sweetpea. It's YOUR baby. NOBODY can make you do anything. Just keep on refusing consent, refusing consent, refusing consent, if that is what you want to do.

Geez, and people wonder why women can get so stressed out about the end of their pregnancy.

[alegna]

Babies come when ready. My dd (1st kid) was 41 weeks 3 days. My ds (2nd kid) was 43 weeks 5 days. Both safely at home.

-Angela

[Mama2Kayla]

Another late birther here. My first was induced @ 42 weeks and was 8lbs 1oz. I was uninformed and thought I had to listen to my OB. My second was with a HB midwife and he came at 42 weeks and 6 days and was an even 9lbs... no problems

Stay strong. Drink lots of water, rest and enjoy these last few days. Once the baby comes, you're going to be plenty busy

[AustinMom]

One thing I would suggest, not to go into labor although it often does that, but for when you do it's the most comfortable, is to check on baby's positioning, not just head down, but make sure he/she is on the left side (optimal, as babies usually rotate clock-wise in the pelvis and have a hard time rotating when they are on the right due to the liver being in the way and needing extra rotations to get to face against your back) and the baby's head FULLY on the cervix, as in not asynclitic, which happens a lot, and can cause LONG LONG labors and LONG LONG pushing, and little progress, and usually results in a CS due to "failure to progress"/"exhaustion".

Talk to your MW about this and visit spinningbabies.com. If you are having a lot of braxton hicks it may easily turn to real labor after that due to the baby being fully on the cervix. It may be a way of your body "testing" to see if things are lined up, and then waiting when they are not. Just a thought, but it doesn't hurt, and will only help.

[Mama2010]

Well my appointment was disappointing. I was checked for dilation and I was 1 cm and my cervix was still hard. So she says she doesn't think I will go into labor on my own and she really sees this ending with an induction. Awesome. So I left that appointment in tears because I felt like she was saying it wasn't going to happen. Good news is baby is healthy and looking great. They have no problem "letting" me go to 42 weeks.

So I called my HB midwife very upset and she was really great and made me feel much better. We are going to talk about my options on Monday at my appointment.

I also lost my mucus plug yesterday so I am hoping that means he might be coming soon.

I know I could refuse the induction but I am scared of being denied care by my OBGYN's office if I do that. Plus could that affect whether my insurance pays if I have to go to the hospital? Like going against medical advice? DH and I have talked about asking if we can just do NSTs and frequent monitoring and as long as baby is healthy being allowed to continue without being induced. I just don't know what to do. I don't see this baby coming anytime soon and it seems stupid to be induced based on a date rather than the health of the baby.

[alegna]

You do NOT have to submit to an induction and your insurance will still cover you.

Your body, your baby, your call.

Remember, you're not even OVERDUE until 42 weeks 1 day.



-Angela

[Childbirth_Fanatic]

Just know this. Babys will always come on their own. There isnt a NEED for an induction if you have a happy healthy baby inside you.

[Belle]

Originally Posted by Mama2010

I was checked for dilation and I was 1 cm and my cervix was still hard. So she says she doesn't think I will go into labor on my own and she really sees this ending with an induction. Awesome.

This doesn't mean that you won't go into labor. It means that at that particular moment the baby was not ready to come out. It means that an induction at that moment would not likely be successful because you were not ready yet.

My homebirth midwives don't even do VEs because they don't really give you useful information about when the baby is coming. Your baby could be born tommorow or at 42+5. Your baby will come when he is ready.

[cocoanib]

Hey Mama, I know how you feel!
My DD was my first and was recently born at 41 plus 4.
My MW wasn't worried, but the back up doctor required NST's after 41 wks. I kept stalling, because I didn't want a clock over my head either. I started labor at 41 plus 2 and was able to skip my appointment, thank God.
Try not to stress. They did say that baby was healthy and that's great news for you and little one. The baby will come when they're ready. Keep us posted!

[AustinMom]

First off, your insurance will cover still, don't worry about that, they don't look at whether or not you take medical advice.

Second, a vaginal exam doesn't tell much, as previous poster said, most MWs don't do them, as they know they don't tell much prenatally. We were 3 cm at 39 weeks and didn't go into labor till 41+3. Some moms are opposite (most moms, I was quite atypical) they don't start dilating till a good fews hours into early labor of continuous contractions every 5-10 min apart, or anywhere inbetween.

Third, I pulled this off ICAN-online.org
"Professional ethical guidelines state that a physician may only drop you from his care after giving you 30 days notice. This means that if you are within 30 days of your likely delivery date, your care provider cannot terminate your care. In addition, if you are pregnant and are outside of that 30 day time frame, your provider must give you a referral and ensure you are transferred to a specific provider. Physicians who fail to meet these guidelines may be charged with patient abandonment, which is grounds for malpractice and constitutes a violation of ethical conduct that could result in loss of licensure." So no, they can't drop you just because you refuse indcution. Don't worry about that.

It's so good you are going with your instincts as a mom about waiting for baby. I wouldn't worry too much till you get to 42 weeks, and then I'd go in for a NST. Until then, start counting baby movements at the same time of day everyday after the same activity (like laying down for bed after dinner at night) Count how long it takes for baby to get to 10 movements. It may take an hr or 2 minutes. If at any point the baby starts moving significantly less, like taking 2 minutes to taking 1 hr the next day, 2 hrs the next, etc. Then I'd call your MW and let her know.

I think you mentioned you are a first time mom, and I'm pretty sure statistically first time moms go 11 days past their EDD. So I' wouldn't worry at all.

[emnic77]

Agree with all of the above. Cervix checks tell you NOTHING. Nothing. I walked around for over a month 3cm dilated with my first....the OB told me at 37ish weeks that I would be having the baby that week - she wasn't born until 41+3 days. Cervix checks are virtually useless, except to stress out a mama and give dr's a reason to talk about induction.

You're not "overdue" until you hit 42 weeks. Both of mine have been born between 41 and 42 weeks. My due date is tomorrow, and I'm not expecting ANY action until at least a week from now. Do kick counts, but I would avoid that back up doctor until 42 weeks, since she already assumes you're an induction case.

Hang in there, and go get a massage or something and have a good cry. If you're super stressed out about being late, it'll just make it harder for your body to go into labor.

[Terrilein]

Originally Posted by Mama2010

I was checked for dilation and I was 1 cm and my cervix was still hard. So she says she doesn't think I will go into labor on my own and she really sees this ending with an induction.

I agree with the previous posters - it doesn't mean a thing!!! With my dd, I went into labor on the same day that my OB/Gyn informed me that I wasn't dilated at all and my cervix was still very firm. Being dilated or not seems completely irrelevant in that light when it comes to impending birth.

[AustinMom]

Originally Posted by emnic77

Hang in there, and go get a massage or something and have a good cry. If you're super stressed out about being late, it'll just make it harder for your body to go into labor.

TOTALLY second the good cry. I have those every now and then and I have to say it really releases a lot of pent up energy. It helped with morning sickness, back pain, indigestion, etc, and all in between. It's been scientifically proven that our emotions effect the composition of our cells and physical makeup, so if you have energy that needs to be released, it can cause all kinds of stress, emotions, stalling labor etc. I hope to cry through my whole labor!

[at_the_hip]

I have to say that I am not one of those women who start laboring at 3-4 cm. I have a firm, posterior cervix and with #1 I was not even dilated a fingertip. The day I went into labor (my water broke that same evening), I was in for a NST and was checked to find out the above - firm, hard cervix...no dilation at ALL. Yet I delivered by the following day! Some women don't dilate/efface a lot before labor but it is no indication of when baby will come. Trusting in your body is the best thing you can do. I can say that for me personally, genetics must come into play because everyone I know in the family has delivered late - and the ones who were induced had csections. That is enough incentive for me to wait!!