Did I create a nap monster (and advice welcome)?

[chisub]

My DS just turned 17 months. He goes to bed at night like a champ and STTN since he was about 13 months, which I never thought would happen! He has never been a good napper, about 25 min. average (ugh!).

Well, about 2-3 months ago I realized that if I rocked and napped with him in the recliner in his room he would nap for at least 90 min. up to 3 hours!!! Obviously it's not a case of my child not needing as much sleep as other kids if he can sleep this long with me vs. his 20-30 min. naps in his crib.

I used to be able to rock him and then transition him to his crib, but now he FREAKS if I attempt it and clings to me like crazy. I'm actually OK with this most of the time, but it's hard when I need to go to the bathroom really bad and have to decide whether to cut the nap short or hold it until I can't take it anymore. Then I start to resent this habit and the fact that I don't have 30 seconds to myself until he goes to bed for the night (which obviously I don't want to have those feelings about my child or my role as a mother).

I'm starting to think that I want to attempt to get him to nap by himself, but I don't even know where to begin. Then I'm concerned that even if I do get him to nap by himself we'll be back at the 25 min. "naps", which aren't good either. HELP!!!

[Emmery'sMom]

Does he still STTN when he's only had a 25 min nap? Is he beside himself the rest of the day if he hasn't slept long enough? Those would be deciding factors for me because if my DD STTN I would be thrilled even if she only took 25 minute naps.

[weliveintheforest]

Maybe you can change the conditions in his room when you do the transfer. Do you rock him in his room? Maybe running a fan or something for white noise will help him notice the movement less.
I find with my son there is a window where I can move him, and it's right after he has stopped twitching, but before he is in a deep sleep.

[Wendlynnn]

I also rock/nurse and transfer for naps. There is definitely a moment where it is successful and if I do it too soon, dd will wake up. I usually wait 10 minutes after falling asleep to transfer. I read that rocking slowly while carrying them helps, as is setting them down feet first and leaving your hands under them for a few moments. Also read that 20 minutes asleep is when they transition to a deeper sleep. I hate the days where it takes me 3 "tries" to get her down.

[crunchy_mommy]

I'm in a similar situation, DS will only nap on my lap (always has), and has never let me transfer him to his bed once he's asleep, and if he falls asleep any other way, he doesn't stay asleep more than 30mins. So usually when he's ready for a nap, I go to the bathroom, get anything I might need (drink/snack), and grab my laptop. Most of the time I'm working while he's sleeping but weekends etc. I get to just spend the whole time doing stuff online (going to this site, watcing shows on hulu, etc.) I think if you think of that as *your* time to read, go online, etc. and make sure you're prepared with whatever you need, you can still enjoy naptime instead of resenting it.

[chisub]

I used to think that he wasn't much different if he only napped a little, but then I saw how he could be with consistently longer naps. He still STTN if he has a long nap, so in that I am lucky *knock on wood*.

Crunchy, I think I need to find another place for us to nap together. While our recliner is very wide and super comfy, I keep the room to dark to read and he lays on top of me so the laptop isn't an option. When we were on vacation 2 weeks ago and then just last week at my parents' house he fell asleep first and then I went to lay down with him in bed and was able to go on the computer after a couple minutes. I need to find a similar set up in our house I think, right? LOL, plus I swear I have the bladder of an 80 year-old woman so I always have to pee!

[crunchy_mommy]

LOL!! I can't help you with your bladder but yes, try a different place for naptime. We have our mattress on the floor (which I guess isn't really relevant but anyway...) I put a couple pillows behind me. Then I have DS lay on the boppy in my lap & I have the laptop propped up on several pillows in front of us (I also have a laptop stand that's on the idea of a breakfast-in-bed type of tray for my work computer but the pillows are fine too)... Took some adjusting to not being able to move & fidget like I was used to doing but I've gotten used to it.

You could also use a book light to read in the recliner I think they sell them at the $ store.

OH also you could try to nurse him down side-lying and then prop yourself up a bit to read/use the computer. Not as comfy to me but usually when I do that I can sneak to the bathroom if I'm super quick & come right back.