January 2010 Mamas DDC - Page 3

[jillmamma]

Congrats on the wedding and moving to Germany!

My hair is everywhere too...it was at about this point both other times that I got fed up and got a trim.

I remember my other two started sleeping worse around 4ish months too...not there yet with Marissa as she is 3 months, 1 week.

Amazing that some of you are already close to having teeth! Marissa is doing a lot of drooling, but I am hoping the teeth are a few months off yet.

Last night she said a "word", "uh oh". She has been making vowel sounds for awhile, and I am sure it was a fluke that she said that right after I did, but still funny to think of.

As far as natural parenting goes, I am looked upon as the "odd" one here too for birthing with no drugs/epidural, keeping my DD RF for >4 years, and BF for >4.5 years. Most people though say "she looks so cozy and happy" when I babywear her though.

Although it is tough at times, I am really loving being a mommy of 3. It is amazing watching all of them interact, learn new things, and how much love I can give and receive.

[sunshadow]

Max got sicker and sicker and we ended up at the ER after a trip to urgent care on Saturday. We just got home from 3 nights in the hospital. He is doing much better, but man that was really scary at times.

[nola79]

Sunshadow- that is awful! I'm glad he's home with you now, and I hope he has a speedy and full recovery.

[Mawood]

HELP
I feel bad for posting this but maybe this is a normal postpartum stage???

Olivia is a really sweet and calm baby. She is my first one but I always have worked with children and nannied a lot before I had her. However after three months breastfeeding, co sleeping, babywearing I feel burned out. My body aches and I have a lot of tensions in shoulder and neck, lower back, sometimes that gives me a headache. Sleep doesn't give me relieve at all cause I am breastfeeding in the side laying position and sleep all melted around Olivia. She keeps tucked in all night and uses my nipples as a pacifier a lot. I have been trying all sorts of pacifiers with her she spits them out and roots for my nipple. I love sleeping with her and used to enjoy it but now I wake up in the morning and feel physically exhausted and it starts to become a mentally exhaustion as well. I know acupuncture and/or massage would help me but frankly it is not in the budget since we have to pay those treatments out of pocket. I am sitting here with my tea at 5am, having to get out of bed cause I was so uncomfortable there. Is this just a phase I am going through? Is this attachment parenting that burns me out? I have been having long days cause my husband works long days but he is very supportive, comes home for lunches and takes her then. She really is not a high need baby and I shouldn't be so burned out but my body is really exhausted.

I would have never posted this on facebook!!!

[AfricanQueen99]

Sunshadow - is he 100% now? That would scare me to no end...and I'm not a worrier at all. Healing thoughts to you and Max.

Mawood - yep. Normal. It can really suck. My theory is that nursing needs to be a mutually agreeable relationship between mother and babe. So, Olivia is showing you what she wants (sucking all night long so much that you can't sleep and are miserable) and you aren't getting a balance. Honestly, I'd decide what you want and meet in the middle. For example, Griffin would comfort nurse all night long and I had to stop it as I do not sleep (at all!) when I'm being touched. So I would let him nurse and then physically move his body about 9-12" from mine...we would sleep. He would whine and lather rinse repeat. Over time he figured out that my breasts were off limits for comfort nursing while laying in bed...and stretched out his times for nursing. It took us a while, but we are getting there.

In other words, AP does NOT mean the baby is always ahead of the game. Your feelings are equally as important.

[devasma]

Mawood, that is pretty much why I put Ethan in his crib (which is in my bedroom, so I hear him as he starts to wake up) for most of the night. When he sleeps next to me, I don't get a good sleep, and wake up with a sore back and neck. If you have the space, try what AfricanQueen99 suggested - having Olivia sleep a bit farther from you in bed. It's hard to look after a baby properly when you are so burnt out - she will benefit from you feeling better!

[Mawood]

AfricanQueen, devasma - thanks so much. I really need to establish some slight changes and find a balance. Now that she is 13 1/2 weeks it seems like a good timing too. She is just so used to having me there that she always wakes up shortly after I have moved so it will be a way to go. On top of everything one of my breasts hurts especially today and it feels like a beginning mastitis. I am hoping to turn this one with fluids and vitamin c.

[sunshadow]

Max isn't 100% but he is much better. He has a follow up this afternoon at his pediatricians. He got human metapneumovirus, which we were told is pretty much RSV on crack. He was so bad when I took him to the ER that one nurse told me she thought he has meningitis. They assumed he had bacterial pneumonia because his white blood cell count was high and he had spots on his lungs in the x-ray, but in the end decided it was just the virus. It's an evil virus and I wish it on no one. It hits little babies hard. He was on oxygen and fluids all weekend.

[smokeylo]

Originally Posted by Mawood

HELP
I feel bad for posting this but maybe this is a normal postpartum stage???

I feel burned out. My body aches and I have a lot of tensions in shoulder and neck, lower back, sometimes that gives me a headache. Sleep doesn't give me relieve at all cause I am breastfeeding in the side laying position and sleep all melted around Olivia.\

Yes, I experience the same thing a lot! Holly doesn't sleep against me, but on a flat pad next to me, which is nice.

A hot bath or a heated rice sock should help the tension in your neck/back. Try taking ibuprofen at night to really help yourself relax. Hang in there!

[CrunchyMamaToBe]

Sunshadow, sorry to hear Max has been ill! How scary! I hope he is fully recovered soon.

Mawood, I would third the recommendation to try and put a little space between you and your baby when you are sleeping. It might take a while for her to get the hang of it, but you need your rest, too!

When my first was this age, I hated cosleeping. And I would never have posted about it (unless maybe I did and don't remember because I was so sleep-deprived...). I used to leave my baby and my DP asleep and sleep on the sofa because he (the baby) was such a wiggly, noisy sleeper. We had a sidecar crib arrangement, but he would wiggle wiggle wiggle his way over next to me and nurse/flap/squirm/snore and I had the hardest time sleeping. But I had in my head that we *had* to cosleep. Looking back, I think we would have all slept a little better if he'd been in a separate bassinet/crib in the room.

Baby E sleeps part of the night in her cosleeper (and part with me in bed), which keeps her far enough from me that her kicks and wiggles don't wake me. She is a 'better sleeper' overall, but I also think that having her in her own little sleeping space for several hours each night means I am much more well rested than when my son was three months old.

Last night we had a really hard time with Ella. I think she was overtired, and she screamed for over an hour through dinner time. My DP and I had to take turns with her upstairs so that we could eat and help our DS eat. She went hoarse, it was heartbreaking. But then, after I woke her to feed & change/potty her at 10:30, she slept until 5:30. I would not make that bargain again, but seven hours of sleep in a row was sure nice...

[boigrrrlwonder]

Originally Posted by MEcatlady17

It makes me sad to think of how fast DD is growing and changing. I still can't believe she isn't a newborn anymore . I try so hard to live in the moment and soaked in all the new baby deliciousness, but I still can't believe that it is over and she will never be that tiny and new again. That being said, I love all the new and cute things she can do and am excited about the time to come.
.

I definitely feel this way too. Plus my daughter keeps asking when she's going to get a baby sister (we had a boy)... I keep telling her definitely not before she weans!

Things are going. I'm having my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, so it means that big sis is gonna camp out watching TV and eating junk food and the baby sit all day in the bounce chair at my parents' place while I recover. I'm nervous about it - if I wasn't nursing, I'd probably have the surgeon put me to sleep.

We're still trying EC. With two kids, I still feel like I don't catch as much as I'd like, but I keep telling myself that in a diapering culture, any is good. A lot of the La Leche League founders didn't breastfeed for a year, so if I have a lot of misses, well - it is what it is.

[geo_girl]

I applaud all of you ladies who co-sleep.

I simply can't do it. I need my space to sleep.

Margaret is coming into her own. She is emerging from her colick, and we have lots of smiles, happy interactions, and she is starting to sleep better.

I'm even starting to think about another baby. I don't think that it will happen (for many reasons), but I'm starting to engage mentally again in real life.

perhaps there was a bit of PPD too, but now I'm starting to feel a bit like myself again.

cheers,
charlene

[PoetryLover]

I'm finding that my days (most of them) are going more smoothly now that I have learned to recognize when Malachi needs to nap. When he starts to get a little fussy, I swaddle him and nurse him down. (He tends to nap longer when he is swaddled. However, we had a couple really hot days when I did not feel comfortable swaddling him and his naps suffered because of it. His little arms always wake him up.) It sounds so silly, but before I learned to recognize when he was tired, he only took small cat naps during the day and could be quite fussy. Yet I couldn't get him to nap because by that point he was really worked up. Now he takes 2-3 really good naps a day usually. That gives me time to shower and do a little around the home. And when he is awake he is generally much happier.

...It surprises me sometimes the people who suggest cry it out as a way to get my son to nap, saying he'll learn to self-soothe. He'll learn to self-soothe from my example of tending to his needs and being the soothing presence during his early years. Cry it out just seems so harsh to me. Not that my son never cries. Sometimes I can't get to him immediately, but it's always my goal to get to him as soon as I can and it's NEVER my intention to let him cry it out to "teach him a lesson." My goodness! {Rant over.}

[lellian]

Hi Mamas,

Do you mind if I join your group? My LO was due Dec 24th, and arrived Jan 11th so our babies have more in common than my original DDC.

I found it fascinating to read all your posts. Every baby is so unique, and each mama has found a special way of dealing with their baby's needs. It is just awesome.

Tellen, my DD, is 4 months on Monday, and I like all of you cannot believe how quickly she has grown up! My DH and I decided that I would stay home with Tellie, and in order to do this we moved from Boston to Cincinnati where my family lives. A move, a baby, a dog, and DH is away from home more than he is home has us living in boxes still. DD doesn't want to be put down, ever.

We too co-sleep, and I was relieved to read that all my aches, pains, frustrations are NORMAL!!!! Many nights I've thought of posting saying that co-sleeping has ruined my life. Ha. Really. Tellie also was using me as a pacifier, and if I moved, or breathed wrong, she was up. Now, I wait for her actual nursing to slow down, and once that happens I unlatch my nipple, and TURN MY BACK TO HER! It has worked wonders! She still doesn't sleep more than 3 hours at a time, but at least she isn't sucking the ENTIRE night!

Reading through your posts it seems like everybody's baby naps. Is there anyone's that doesn't? My mom had 3 kids, and this is her 6th grand baby, and she said she's never seen a baby sleep less. Tellie does not nap. . .not on her own. If I lay down with her, she'll nap. If she's in her Bjorn, she'll nap after 30 minutes of checking things out. I do a lot of walking, a lot.

Thanks for letting me talk. Being new to this area I don't know any moms, and have no sounding board. My family didn't breast feed, I do. My family didn't co-sleep, I do. My family thinks I'm weird, but I love them anyway!

Thanks mamas!

[Happiestever]

Glad to hear babies and mamas are on the mend. Physically and emotionally this is a hard time for most people I think. At least I feel that way. Aziz is still awesome, I have come to think of him as my little surfer dude. He is so chill and easy going, I love him to pieces. He is the quietest one in the house. Thankfully he and my older two have been healthy. We haven't been going to preschool so I attribute part of their health to that.
I was taking pics of the kids together and had them all on their bellies, which made the baby decide to roll over for the first time. I can't believe my lucky stars to catch it on camera. Anyone else totally slacking in taking pics? This is my third so I can feel guilty that I have so many for the others, but only a few of him. Now that I am a mom of three it can be challenging to say the least. When one acts up I have to remove all from the situation. I will not yield to temper tantrums and as a result we never stay very long anywhere = no friends for anyone. I feel pretty lonely right now, and I am sure my kids feel the same. Oh well. Aziz is talking up a storm and hates tummy time so he pushes off and scoots with his feet until he rolls over.

Everyone loves him, and he loves just as fierce.

[AfricanQueen99]

Lellian - I ask this with great empathy and no judgment, but do you think there's a need of Tellie's that's not being addressed? Her lack of sleep sounds exhausting for you *and* her. I only ask because I have a friend that had a girl (she's six now) that *never* slept and she ended up going on Melatonin. It was a dark period for my friend dealing with the complete exhaustion of her days...and then nursing all night. Just a thought. Oh, and welcome!

Andraea - yeah, second kid here and I think I've taken out the camera once. BAD mama!

Sunshadow - god, that sounds horrifying! Did he get the vax for rota?

[Gray's Mommy]

it's official--Liam is 12 weeks & my 4th trimester is over. I have PPD & my midwife wants me to see a counselor. I had a great 2 hour visit with her the other day & let it all out. I love that he was born but hate how he was born. Understand why we had a cesarean birth, but so very sad that I had one. Conflicting emotions makes for a sad mommy

Thank goodness he is thriving!! We are bedsharing & breastfeeding, so that helps. I have to call a few places to see if I can find someone that works with PPD. I haven't had it with my other babies, so this is a whole new feeling for me.

[PoetryLover]

Gray's Mommy, I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time, but am so happy to hear you're beginning counseling. Hang in there.

[Catubodua]

hello all!

we're doing well. we survived his first cold (and the first cold he gave to me!). it was rather mild, but i still hated to hear him so stuffed up. i figured we wouldn't have a cold until he started daycare, and still can't figure out who he caught it from.

his sleeping is ok. there are nights of 10:30 to 5:30 and nights where he's up two or three times. it's fine for now since i'm still home and i just nap during the day, but i worry about next month when i head back to work.

i continue to have almost no milk, although i still pump all the time and he gets whatever i can get out. but, i am sick to death of pumping. i hate the time involved and the uncomfortable nipples. i am trying *really* hard to pump as long as i can before i dry up completely, but there are times i'd love to ditch it. and, yes, i have been taking fenugreek - no real changes. the only time i notice an increase is after i have a beer.

he's not crazy about tummy time, and i think he's a bit behind on it, but he holds his head up like a champ. just the last few days he's starting to get one hip up, but he's still a far bit away from rolling over.

he's 12W6D and weighs 14 pounds and is 25(ish) inches long. he's in the 3 to 6 month sized clothes and regularly gets mistaken as being older than he is. "wow. he's a big boy" is something i hear multiple times each day.

i don't want to head back to work, but i'm going anyway. and, i am so worried about how i'll get anything done once i am back to work. i mean, i barely keep everything together now. how am i supposed to get it all done once i lose 8 hours of home time each day?

[Mawood]

Just wrote a long post and lost it

Anyways, I did have a mastitis and had a fever for the past two days. Today is the first good day again. It was really bad with swollen breasts and red streaks on my skin, very painful nursing plus husband who couldn't take off work plus it was my birthday but we made it. Now it is weekend thank god!!!!

@ smokeylo: Tried the ibuprofen last night and it helped a lot! I will hopefully take a bath this weekend and do my yoga dvd

@ GraysMommy: Hope you find someone nice you can click with. I am still thinking about my birth as well. I might post some other time.

I am to frustrated that I just lost my previous post where I had written a lot more details and don't have it in me to do it again. Good Night Mamas