Any other parents have a hard time adjusting to DC sleeping in own room?

[Hokulele]

DD is going to be five this summer. Just recently she has started sleeping in her own room. There is so much about this is good! Our bed was getting really small with four of us in it (plus 2 cats). No one was getting good sleep. Any time someone woke, everyone was up. etc etc etc.

However, *I* am the one having a hard time with DD sleeping in her own room. Of course I miss her. But I also worry. I had post-partum anxiety with her pretty badly. That seems to be mostly gone, but I have lingering worries. At night I close up meticulously - checking doors (what if someone came in and took her?!!?) and checking the stovetop (what if there was a fire and I couldn't get to her?!??!) and basically turning myself into a nervous wreck. Meanwhile, she is sleeping peacefully away...

Has anyone else had a hard time with this transition? How did you get to a point of ok-ness about it?

[alegna]

I am not philosophically okay with a kid sleeping in a room without adults until they can get out of the house in an emergency. Personal issue- we had a fire in our house when I was a kid and if we'd been home (we weren't) and asleep my sister and I would have been the first to have to get up and out if we were to survive. An infant or toddler in that room (the fire started in our bedroom with a window unit a/c) would have died before an adult could have gotten to them (from my parents' room directly across the hall)

That said- dd did briefly move to her own room around 4.5yrs old. She woke up more and kept coming into our room anyway and waking me up (turned out the toilet noise woke her....) and we all slept better when she moved back to our room. I think she's going to want to try again soon and I think this time she may be more ready.

-Angela

[akind1]

Not where you are- yet - but I can sympathize! DS at 5 months actually pretty much STTN so he *could* sleep in his own room and it wouldn't be a hassle - no more middle of the night feeds - but neither DH or I am ready to have him in a separate room.

is there room to have a bed for your DD in your room - mattress on the floor or something? - so there is more space for everyone to rest?

[SweetPotato]

My dd (4.5yo) usually starts the night in her own room and then joins us at some point. I still worry, and I still check on her repeatedly-- but I really do sleep SO much better with the extra space in the bed, and it still feels quite luxurious to snuggle up with dh (dd insists on being in the middle). If there's a bad storm coming or I hear a strange noise or she's been sick then she's in bed with us. We switched from full-time cosleeping (which dh was never thrilled about, but tolerated) to this arrangement when she was 2.5yo-- so after 2 years I'm still more nervous about it some nights and less on others. But those naggy thoughts definitely do still cross my mind, and I think it would be easier if she were somehow closer without being right on top of us.

[beebalmmama]

My ds was much younger than yours. But we had a relatively easy transition because the second bedroom was so close to ours. It was a small house and the rooms were tiny and so he wasn't that far away. Then we moved into another house where the only place to have him was a walk in closet in the master bedroom. The closet actually had a full size window and was the size of a small room. (Funky old house). Anyway I could see him from my bed and so that worked great.
Do you have enough room to fit another bed or a mattress so she can still be close? Otherwise if she seems happy with her new bed I would try to give it a little more time. How long has it been?

[sept15lija]

We moved DS to his own room at a much younger age, 18 months. I did miss him a lot and still do, although we still co sleep part time (either when he crawls in with us or one of us crawls in with him) so I still get lots of snuggles. Most mornings I get in with him while DD is having her usual sleep from 6am until 7:30 am in my bed after her last nurse of the night. We just wouldn't have close to enough room with both of them in bed (plus safety issues with a toddler and a newborn), but this is a nice compromise.

[Hokulele]

I guess over time I'll get better about this.

I don't think putting her in our room in a second bed is in the cards. DH is VERY ready for her to be in her own room. She wakes very easily and will go to sleep quickly on her own but if she was in the room with us, every time her younger sister wakes she'll be up too. And if she was in our room she'd end up in our bed after only an hour or two.

DD has been in her own room for a few months now, but for quite a while DH was sleeping in with her. So really only in the last month or so has she been on her own in there.

I think I just need to get more used to the idea. Thanks for all the responses!