parents sharing childcare

[Carita]

I'll be teaching FT in the fall, and DH will be starting a PhD program in a research science (few courses, mostly research). When the roles were reversed, and I was the PhD student and he worked FT, I utilized DC 2x/week and managed my TA and course load, but got no research done, then had to utilize DC 5 days/week.

Child care options near my work are extremely limited - no DC facilities, only 2 DCPs I can find & because DH is going back to school, finances are very tough. I am seriously considering asking DH if he would be open to child care sharing - watching the kids 3 days a week, and I watch them 2 days a week. But I wonder if this will just totally stress us out and make our work sub-par. I am not the type to be able to stay up til 2 am doing work when the kids are sleeping, but he is. I value our family time, and really don't want to give it up.

Can anyone who shares child care with their partner share their stories/opinions? TIA!

[crunchy_mommy]

We did this for the last year (until DH got a new job a month or two ago with stricter hours). I would work (from home) for 4-5 hours in the morning while watching DS, and then DH would get home at noon & watch him the entire afternoon while I worked.

On the plus side, DS loved spending time with each of us. He got very upset when DH had to stop taking care of him in the afternoons!! We didn't have to pay for daycare and we both were able to maintain full-time jobs.

On the negative side, WAH with a baby is really tough. Also, DH had to get up sooo early (4am or so) to be able to fit in enough hours AND watch DS. DH's job often wanted him to stay later and he'd have to turn him down because I needed him home to watch DS. We were both very stressed & tired because we were DS's sole childcare providers AND both working 40+ hours a week. And DS was is high needs so that made it all the more stressful.

That being said, I'd do it again in a heartbeat!! It definitely was the best choice for our family at the time.

Now, I am WAH part-time (20hrs/week) so I work while DS sleeps... and DH is WOH full-time at his new job. It's definitely less tiring but DS really misses his daddy & seems to have trouble with "daddy time" in the evenings, he only wants me (which might just be a stage that happened to coincide with the transition).

[akind1]

I WAH 3 days and WOH 2 days. DH is home all day, every day - he does freelance work. On the days I WAH I work and do the baby stuff (DS is 5 months old, so this really is nursing, laying down for naps - when he doesn't drift off himself - and switching activities as needed - floor, excersaucer, etc) DH usually gets up around noon and takes over most things except, obv. the nursing part. (he usually stays up late working)

when I am in the office DH does the baby stuff all day. This works really well for us. If he ever got an OH job, we would need it to work out so one of us is home all the time to avoid daycare. (not opposed exactly, but like saving the $$$)

Whenever we have more kids, not sure if this arrangement would still work, but for now, no complaints

[alicia622]

DH and I have made it a priority to work opposite schedules so we don't need to use childcare. I work M-F during the day and he works a live in shift at an adult group home on the weekends. It has been hard because we have very limited family time but I wouldn't change it because it has always been more important to me/us to not have DS in daycare. This past year or so, DH has started taking classes and so a couple afternoons a week his mother comes by to watch DS for an hour before I get home from work.