Choice of homes

[marispel]

We may be moving (again) and we could have an option to move...well, really anywhere. However, I have a couple places in mind. The 1st place would be in the same subdivision as my MIL & FIL. In fact, it would be just 4 houses down. It's a nice home and a nice subdivision. My DH isn't sure about living that close to his parents. I, on the otherhand, think that the benefits of DS being that close to his grandparents would be awesome for him. PLUS we would have a babysitter at our disposal..very convenient and good for everyone!

However, our 2nd place would be to move back into our old subdivision. Our BFFs live there and we made so many friends. The subdivision is a bit out in the country..but we were so comfortable there. Just the ease of knowing everybody is very inviting. We love the area, we love our friends...but the grandparents would be about 15 miles away. Not far, but not close enough where DS could ride his bike to grandmas. YK?

So..my DH is not a "family" kind of guy. Whereas, I grew up with tons of family and it is the center of my being. I would love for DS to have the type of childhood, but DH can't understand it.

IDK - so much to think about, I just thought I would see if anyone else had a similar situation.

[LCBMAX]

Is your dh just not into family and can't see the benefits re childcare, or is he actually wary of his specific family? In other words, is this a personality thing or a warning sign?

I'm not referring to anything actually ominous, just the possibility of the usual family dysfunctions that can make your day to day life kinda rough (and I'm speaking from experience here!)

[marispel]

A little of both. He just isn't into family (exept ours and even sometimes I have to rope him in to think of family first...just the way he grew up). His dad is a bit rough around the edges, but his mom is really nice. She tries really hard to re-connect with her children...sometimes she is a bit overwhelming, but she is trying. she is a slow, long talker (drives DH batty...me too). She loves DS and is fantastic to babysit for us. She likes to stop by and bring him things...she really wants to be part of his life. To be honest, I love it. Even though she is a talker - I think it is so important for DS to be close to his relatives.

[welsh]

Your in-laws sound a bit like mine. As adults, they're odd and can be irritating!
However, there's no denying that they adore my DS and want to be hands-on Grandparents to him.
We live overseas but if I were in your situation, I would be encouraging the grandparent/child relationship and taking advantage (well, you know what I mean!) of the babysitting.
I grew up very close to my maternal grandparents and I think it's a wonderful thing.

[swd12422]

If it were me, I'd choose #2. I love my parents and would love to have them live in the same neighborhood as us, but it didn't happen. They are 25-30 miles away, and it's AWESOME. We don't have the "ride on down to Grandma's" thing that we'd like to have later on, but we also don't have the uncomfortable "they're right there -- do I need to bring him over AGAIN or can I just get on with my day?" If your MIL is a talker and can drive you batty at times, it doesn't matter how nice she is. She'll drive you batty. 15 miles is great in my book -- close enough to see them once or twice every week (or more, if you're inclined to drive) -- but not enough to lose your personal space. Besides, I'd give my right arm to live that close to my BFF and a swarm of other friends who may or may not have kids for DS to play with!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by swd12422

If it were me, I'd choose #2. I love my parents and would love to have them live in the same neighborhood as us, but it didn't happen. They are 25-30 miles away, and it's AWESOME. We don't have the "ride on down to Grandma's" thing that we'd like to have later on, but we also don't have the uncomfortable "they're right there -- do I need to bring him over AGAIN or can I just get on with my day?" If your MIL is a talker and can drive you batty at times, it doesn't matter how nice she is. She'll drive you batty. 15 miles is great in my book -- close enough to see them once or twice every week (or more, if you're inclined to drive) -- but not enough to lose your personal space. Besides, I'd give my right arm to live that close to my BFF and a swarm of other friends who may or may not have kids for DS to play with!

Grandparents are great for visiting, but for day to day playing you need kids.