using my maiden name for baby #5's last

[lotusma]

there's 6 of us all using dh's last name, but the only way i can see using a girl name i absolutely adore is if i give "her" *my* last (maiden) name. i mentioned this in a previous name thread (the names you love but can't use); i want to use Anouk and it simply won't work w/ our last name, Hunt (hardee har). but i can't let go of this name, at least not w/o knowing i brainstormed every possibe option/solution.

is it a ridiculous idea? it came to me in my sleep so i need perspective.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Just a for instance, my boss used her maiden name for both her younger two childrens middle names. It actually sounds really cool.

[Galatea]

I say go for it. There are families where the girls get mom's last name and the boys get dad's.

[lotusma]

barbie, yeah i see that lots. my concern is w/ one of my children having a different last name than everyone else in the family. i'm having a hard time fully comprehending and foreseeing the type of complications it may pose.

i should mention too that part of my reasoning is that, likely, she'll be dropping it for a married name at some point anyway.

[VillageMom6]

I think what you're saying is that there are six of you who have your dh's last name. So you are the Hunt family: DH Hunt, Lotusma Hunt, Jude Hunt, Jason Hunt, Joseph Hunt and John Hunt.

Now you would like to name a daughter Anouk Hunt but can't because it would be pronounced Anewkunt. (Very wise of you to notice that, I might add!)

So instead you would like baby Anouk to bear your maiden name... let's call it Smith. She'd be the only family member with a different surname, only because you very much want to use Anouk, is that right?

I would have to say no to that idea.

I suspect it would make her feel like the odd one out in your Hunt family. Her brothers and parents are all united with one common name... and then there is Miss Smith.

There are lots of blended families out there with different names but they are not all biologically related. I'm afraid that people will forever be thinking that little Anouk Smith is not your dh's daughter.

I understand the disappointment in not being able to use a beloved name. I sooo wanted a baby Violet this time. Twas not to be.

[matey]

I think it would work if you also used your maiden name as a your last name, then it would be a boy/girl thing. But, if she's the only one, I think it seems weird.

[MaerynPearl]

Its one thing if she doesnt share a father, but I agree if she is 100% biologically sister to the boys, she should share the same last name.

Maybe you can get a dog and name it Anouk? I really dont see it as a good idea to change her last name from the rest of the family just so you can name her that.

[voicegrrl]

We have 3 last names in our family and it's a nightmare. My 3 older girls are from my ex, I went back to my maiden name after my divorce and never changed it to my husband's when we wed. My husband and our baby have the same last name. I'm constantly being called by everyone's last name except for mine. I say save yourself the confusion, it really is a pain.

I'll also second what others have said that I think it would make your daughter feel left out and confused. One of the main reasons I didn't change my name to my husband's is that I didn't want my older girls to think I loved them any less because I had the same last name as my husband and our baby but not them so I decided to stay neutral for everyone. I know my situation is a little different because we're a blended family but maybe it will give some insight. Good luck deciding. I've decided that if this baby isn't a boy I'm using my boy name on my future horse ;-)

[lotusma]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

I think what you're saying is that there are six of you who have your dh's last name. So you are the Hunt family: DH Hunt, Lotusma Hunt, Jude Hunt, Jason Hunt, Joseph Hunt and John Hunt.

Now you would like to name a daughter Anouk Hunt but can't because it would be pronounced Anewkunt. (Very wise of you to notice that, I might add!)

So instead you would like baby Anouk to bear your maiden name... let's call it Smith. She'd be the only family member with a different surname, only because you very much want to use Anouk, is that right?

I would have to say no to that idea.

I suspect it would make her feel like the odd one out in your Hunt family. Her brothers and parents are all united with one common name... and then there is Miss Smith.

There are lots of blended families out there with different names but they are not all biologically related. I'm afraid that people will forever be thinking that little Anouk Smith is not your dh's daughter.

I understand the disappointment in not being able to use a beloved name. I sooo wanted a baby Violet this time. Twas not to be.

haha, i appreciate the time you took in breaking down our family's names. and you very much speak reason, i'm afraid. you all do. thx for the input. i'm gonna scrap Anouk, which is so very sad, but there's worse things, right?

[aloneinid]

I can see you are really struggling with this, but I have to say let it go. Of all of the names in the universe, surely there is another that is a suitable replacement for Anouk. It seems that you are letting your pregnancy hormones get in the way of how this child will be affected by her name for the rest of her life.

I will likely be giving birth to another boy, my last child, and won't even use any of my beloved girl names and that is just how it is. The same for many boy names that don't work with our last name, or my husband won't agree with, or my SIL wasted on her dog, etc.

Once you let it go your heart will be more open to finding another name that is just right for this baby.

[lotusma]

Originally Posted by aloneinid

It seems that you are letting your pregnancy hormones get in the way of how this child will be affected by her name for the rest of her life.

What?! lol. not only does that comment not make a whole lot of sense, but i find it hysterically presumptuous and balls-y! it *may* apply to somebody who just absolutely refuses to see reason (if it made better sense, that is) but even then.... it's balls-y. i appreciate the laugh.

[philomom]

No. I can't see a last baby of a large family getting a different last name than the other children. She'll feel left out of something or that her father isn't her father. Kids have strange fantasies sometimes. It might also give any other daughters the green eye because you didn't share your maiden name with THEM... thus giving the new baby "favorite" status that no family dynamic needs.

Sorry and good luck.

[JaysMama]

Could you play with the name Anouk some? Anoukly, Anouki, Anouka, Anoukla...something that would change the sound slightly so it doesn't sound the same with the name Hunt? Maybe Anouk plus a middle name said all together as in Anouk Lee, sort of like naming someone Rose Mary Blank and saying it all together when introducing yourself. You know what I mean...she could go by her first and middle name. Could save her grief on the playground and in life while still allowing you to use the name you love.

[JessieBird]

I think you've made the right decision to let Anouk go, though it is a really lovely name.

What about Anik? Pronounced Aneek or Anick, as you prefer. I don't know how common it is in the US but it's a not rare (though not overly popular either) French name around here. Anouk sounds northern Quebec / Inuit to me so maybe they'd be similar in your mind?

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by JessieBird

I think you've made the right decision to let Anouk go, though it is a really lovely name.

What about Anik? Pronounced Aneek or Anick, as you prefer. I don't know how common it is in the US but it's a not rare (though not overly popular either) French name around here. Anouk sounds northern Quebec / Inuit to me so maybe they'd be similar in your mind?

The biggest problem, I think, is that any name ending in the K sound will make her first + last name together sounds quite inappropriate.

I was thinking maybe Anoul or something like that might work... keep the basic sound but without the harsh K sound.

[aloneinid]

Originally Posted by lotusma

What?! lol. not only does that comment not make a whole lot of sense, but i find it hysterically presumptuous and balls-y! it *may* apply to somebody who just absolutely refuses to see reason (if it made better sense, that is) but even then.... it's balls-y. i appreciate the laugh.

Most definitely pregnancy hormones. I am the least "balls-y" person on the planet and was sincerely trying to be helpful- you did ask for our perspectives. I won't be so quick to be helpful next time since I will apparently get flamed for it.

[CherryBomb]

I think you're making the right decision in not giving her a different last name, for all the reasons stated above. I understand it sucks, though! I'll always be a little heartbroken that I can't name one of my girls Aoife (and I can't tolerate it as a middle name. It's first name or nothing!)

[Plummeting]

Edit: Whoops! Sorry, hadn't read the whole thread before posting. I think you're right to scrap the name, unfortunately. Hopefully you are able to come up with something just as beautiful or meaningful to you.

[Headmeister]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

I think what you're saying is that there are six of you who have your dh's last name. So you are the Hunt family: DH Hunt, Lotusma Hunt, Jude Hunt, Jason Hunt, Joseph Hunt and John Hunt.

Now you would like to name a daughter Anouk Hunt but can't because it would be pronounced Anewkunt. (Very wise of you to notice that, I might add!)

So instead you would like baby Anouk to bear your maiden name... let's call it Smith. She'd be the only family member with a different surname, only because you very much want to use Anouk, is that right?

I would have to say no to that idea.

I suspect it would make her feel like the odd one out in your Hunt family. Her brothers and parents are all united with one common name... and then there is Miss Smith.

There are lots of blended families out there with different names but they are not all biologically related. I'm afraid that people will forever be thinking that little Anouk Smith is not your dh's daughter.

I understand the disappointment in not being able to use a beloved name. I sooo wanted a baby Violet this time. Twas not to be.

I'd have to say this, exactly.

[lotusma]

Originally Posted by aloneinid

Most definitely pregnancy hormones. I am the least "balls-y" person on the planet and was sincerely trying to be helpful- you did ask for our perspectives. I won't be so quick to be helpful next time since I will apparently get flamed for it.

aloneinid, i meant my comment to be as objective as possible, no judgement or flaming intended, just observation. and it's still comical that you still insist that my dilemma is "most definitely" the result of pregnancy hormones, but i can appreciate that that's how you know how to be helpful.

(and actually, i found all your other insights to be quite helpful. fyi.)

thanks all for indulging me!