using my maiden name for baby #5's last - Page 2

[zinemama]

I don't see why you shouldn't give her your last name. One of our sons has dh's last name and the other has mine (both are ours). There's never been an issue

[Beltane]

I think giving her your last name is a great idea! Reading this thread also gave ME an idea! If I have a girl in August I will give her my last name, and if it's a boy I'll give him my husband's last name. I didn't change my name when I got married - I'm proud of my name and everything I've accomplished under it...and besides....it was the first gift my parents gave me.

[HappyMommy2]

I would keep her last name the same as the rest of the family, and not ostrasize her. Sorry!

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I don't see why you shouldn't give her your last name. One of our sons has dh's last name and the other has mine (both are ours). There's never been an issue

Originally Posted by Beltane

I think giving her your last name is a great idea! Reading this thread also gave ME an idea! If I have a girl in August I will give her my last name, and if it's a boy I'll give him my husband's last name. I didn't change my name when I got married - I'm proud of my name and everything I've accomplished under it...and besides....it was the first gift my parents gave me.

The biggest problem is that the OP has her DHs last name

if she had kept her own (as I am assuming zinemama has and Beltane said she has) that is different... but because the child would be the ONLY one with that last name, that would make her feel a bit too different and not necessarily in a good way.

[lotusma]

ack! now i'm torn again. lol.

(maerynpearl, maybe i should change mine back to my maiden, then she won't be alone. kidding, kind of. )

one thing i'd hate to have to do is explain to her one day why she didn't get everybody else's last name. :/

damn.

is this where i get to point fingers at dh and tell him he has a blasted pita last name?!

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

The biggest problem is that the OP has her DHs last name

if she had kept her own (as I am assuming zinemama has and Beltane said she has) that is different... but because the child would be the ONLY one with that last name, that would make her feel a bit too different and not necessarily in a good way.

Ah, yeah I missed that. I was assuming the OP kept her name. That does make it a little different. Well, OP, if you've ever regretted giving up your last name, this might be an ideal time to revert!

[MaerynPearl]

I dont see reverting to be a bad idea totally BUT that is definitely something to discuss with your spouse first.

I would sort of wonder if doing it like this might make the boys all wonder why though...

[Drummer's Wife]

I would find another first name, personally.

[SumnerRain]

Sorry you are having to scrap a beloved name. But I totally think you are doing the right thing. And I have friends with the last name Hunt, it IS a PITA name.

My oldest son had a different last name than his father and I and he HATED it. Begged us to change his name (we finally did). He was born to another mother and she used her name, not DH's, since they were never married and she would not allow DH into the picture.

When she gave custody to his father he had her last name, DH & I also had a child together and he was the odd man out in our little family of 4. When his teachers would talk to me, they would call me "Mrs. [BM's last name]" and it would infuriate him no end. He also felt like he was less special for not sharing our last name.

When he was 6 BM & DH legally changed his last name, and a few years back I adopted him, so it is a non-issue now. He has no ill feelings towards his birth mom, it was just frustrating to him to have to tell people his last name was [BM's maiden] instead of ours in any situation where they would assume his was the same as ours... school, doc's offices, airlines, etc.

I have several names I love and had to scrap, it sucks.

[MacKinnon]

FWIW, I'm also squarely in the "scrap the name" camp. I can see giving her your maiden name, if you had kept yours or reverted to it, but being the "odd one out," well, I can see how that could make her feel left out, etc.

One thing to consider on that point... you were worried about her name sounding inappropriate, well... She is growing up in the Hunt family, like the last name or not, many people will assume that is her name if they know you, your DH and her brothers. She'll end up with the inappropriate sound moniker by default, when it's assumed that is her last name. This might change as an adult, but could make those middle and high school years, when she's the little sister of the Hunt brothers, difficult!

So, I don't think there is a good way to use this name. Sorry mama! It's awful to loose names you love! I've lost some too!

[lotusma]

sumnerrain, that was very helpful.

and, ilovemyavery--what you said makes so. much. sense. really good point.

[RedOakMomma]

Would you consider changing back to your maiden name? If so, then I think it's a great solution. Girls get the female line name, boys get the masculine line name. Totally works.

Go for it, mama!

[VillageMom6]

Originally Posted by lotusma

is this where i get to point fingers at dh and tell him he has a blasted pita last name?!

Oh honey... I would trade my hubby's ethnic, no-one-gets-it last name for Hunt any day! I bet everyone you meet can pronounce and spell your surname.

I have fantasies of having married a Mr. Carter or a Mr. Baker or someone.

[japonica]

Originally Posted by ilovemyavery

FWIW, I'm also squarely in the "scrap the name" camp. I can see giving her your maiden name, if you had kept yours or reverted to it, but being the "odd one out," well, I can see how that could make her feel left out, etc.

One thing to consider on that point... you were worried about her name sounding inappropriate, well... She is growing up in the Hunt family, like the last name or not, many people will assume that is her name if they know you, your DH and her brothers. She'll end up with the inappropriate sound moniker by default, when it's assumed that is her last name. This might change as an adult, but could make those middle and high school years, when she's the little sister of the Hunt brothers, difficult!

So, I don't think there is a good way to use this name. Sorry mama! It's awful to loose names you love! I've lost some too!

Yes, we get a lot of "you'll get the name by default" here but it's me who gets it. I kept my maiden name. DH and our two kids all have the same name. So, whenever teachers, doctors, dentists, other parents address me, they always call me Mrs. [DH's last name] since that is the kids' name and they assume everyone is the same.

Just pointing out that this does happen all the time and even if you're avoiding Hunt legally, she may end up with it by default.

[Bubblette]

I *personally* wouldn't want to have a child with a different last name to the whole family, or to be that child. Names are pretty powerful things and they tell people who we "belong" to. This is not to criticize of judge it's my honest experience in this world.

Thank being said if it were me and this were such a really big deal for me and my family I would ask my husband and children to consider changing their last names. Anouk-Hunt is obviously a no go but Hunt-Anouk will not have the same problems. If your husband cannot do this for legal or professional reasons you children still could.

As I understand it that's exactly what happens in mexican tradition everyone put the mom's maiden name on the end.

[Pinoikoi]

I wouldn't do it for many of the reasons mentioned... Ontop of that, it is common knowledge (around here and maybe some in northern Canada, I'm not sure on them so much) that anuk means poop. It can be spelled in one of several ways depending on the specific linguistic background of the speaker (sometimes I see it with a q for instance), but for example, Anuktuvak Pass (this is a small town) means Moose Poop pass.

Anouk seems awfully close to Anuk to me. So regardless of the last name, I wouldn't saddle my child with that.