Mums of Many it's May

[baltic_ballet]

Welcome

Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's May already!

[Mama~Love]

It won't be May here for another 11 hours and 17 minutes .

Can't wait for warm weather! It's still chilly now.

[wendybird]

I love May.
Pip turns 1 in a couple days...my mind is numb trying to think through the last year. It just doesn't seem right. She is my darling beauty though.
I am loving all these pregnancy updates! What a fun time Nov,Dec,January is going to be again this year(last years was fun to check on baby status too). Now if I could just quit wishing I were in the club...
Anyone doing anything fun and exciting this month? I live vicariously it seems lol.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

Not quite May here yet another 28 minuites to go lol, were having a long weekend kiddies are off school monday for the may day bank holiday so an extra lie in, maybe if the kiddies wake up too early. Not really any plans as yet other than to get my room decorated and house sorted, might try getting out somewhere nice if the weather stays nice sometime but will probably wait for the half term holidays for that.
hows all the mom ? i don't really feel like i belong here quite yet, is 4 really classed as many lol, i'm currently ttc number 5 by ai so will be a bit closer to many hopefullly soon.

[annettemarie]

OMGosh, I was so freaking confused. I missed May! The babies are eating my brains!!!

To be fair, I didn't realize it was May tomorrow either.

[annettemarie]

Oh, and my serious discussion.

We've always been Waldorf-inspired in our homeschooling. Now that I am pregnant with twins, I'm just really wondering if it can truly work with larger families. Usually, when you see it, it's families with one or two or even three kids, but I'm going to have an 11, 9, 7, 3, and twin babies. I just don't see how to make it work. Elizabeth Foss seems to make it work, but I'm just really at a loss here. DH is pushing me to put the kids in school-- no-- and another homeschool mom said I might just have to suck it up and be a "workbook mom" for a year,

[Kidzaplenty]

[MyFullHouse]

Yay for May!
We have two kiddie birthdays this month (3 today and 8 on the 30th), so that's always fun.

Annette,
I'm having similar hs concerns with "just" one baby on the way. We're more Classical than Waldorf, but it still seems overwhelming.

I do think I'm going to have to encourage a LOT more independence (specifically with my future 7 and 8yos) than I've expected before. I typically hate schedules, but I do think I'm going to have to get the big kids on one if I'm going to survive the unscheduled needs of a 3yo and infant! At least for a little while.

[ChildoftheMoon]

subbing

[PreggieUBA2C]

Happy May, mamas!

I'm 32 weeks pg today and in 9 days having a birthday... I have to figure out how old I am. Got it. Thirty-three.

We're still renovating and after last week, we are a full week behind.

The baby shifted rather drastically last night and I had to assume the hands and knees position to alleviate pressure, which helped and I feel better today, except that with every step I take I feel like my pelvis is clunking as my feet hit the floor. I'm measuring 40 weeks, which is a bit bigger than I usually do at this point; at 32 weeks' I would usually be at 36cm because my babies don't nestle into my body at all. I look like I have a beach ball under my shirt and I can press my hands in behind the baby, to give you an idea.

Anyway, I am feeling like the last week or two of pg and I have lots of weeks to go and lots of work to do, so I am hoping that my body didn't trick me with a period in the first month (my lmp was 2 days long and then suddeny gone, so I am now wondering...). I have had periods in the first trimester before.

So, I am feeling a lot more urgency to complete the room we're working on and also to stay home; I dont want to go annnyywhere. I am usually a homebody but do enjoy going into town about once/week. Right now that seems like too much too far away from home.

I guess we'll see.

How are all the other pg mamas feeling?

[tifpaul]

Don't you wish there was a search function for just the Moms of Many threads?

Anyone have any good advice for Google calendar? I finally got with the program and it's so helpful for a couple of things:
1. It allows me to put recurring events on the calendar. So if we sign up for a session of soccer or whatever, I can easily input 8 weeks worth of practices.
2. I can overlay my spouse's work calendar so I can see when he has an evening event.

My questions are:
How do you put kids' events on there in a separate color?
What are the ways that you can put events on there remotely? Do I need an iPhone?
Any other great ideas for on-line organization? I'm finally ready to move away from little scraps of paper!

Congratulations to all you pregnant mommies. It's so great to have someone (or sometwo!) new coming!

[peaceful_mama]

Still here. Pregnant. I don't know if I posted about seeing my "bellybean' on the last thread, but I did....about 10 days ago now. And the bellybean measures for an 11/28 EDD with a 167 heartbeat....which has me *hoping* the kids are getting the sister they want because my boys heartrates were always 140-150, a little higher in labor. (I don't remember DD's)

Dug out my box of baby clothes the other day looking for onesies to tie-dye, I didn't have a single still-white onesie, but I had *tons* of fun looking at some still-new basically baby girl clothes that haven't been touched in 3 years........

I want to do an ocean-colored/looking tie-dye and then later this summer screen-print "born in water" with ideally (but might not happen, might be too hard) a seal on it like the ones I saw on etsy.
I probably will also do a "born at home" something.

For whoever asked---yes, I think 4 is where we begin to qualify as "many"...3 is still pretty average, 4 is when people start to question your sanity, IME. (I've already gotten "Well that COULDN"T have been planned...." the truth is I *wanted* a 4th, but the timing wasn't exactly planned, . And one friend who says she is totally happy for me but at the same time hopes we won't be too stressed by 4 kids 6 and under....)

I need to know how you all cope if you still have to provide pretty much constant outdoor supervision and yet still maintain a home you're not embarrassed to have people see.

We *desperately* need out of our living situation, but until that happens, I've got to find a way to have this work. We have no fenced-in yard. (rental, so I can't just fence.) And the children who live right next door to me are the same age as my kids, but are completely unsupervised and undisciplined. (To the extreme that my mom watched these kids' teenage sibling do NOTHING when the kid pushed my dd off her bike, for the 'crime' of riding it on the sidewalk past their yard. )

So, even though my older 2 are capable of following a rule like "yes you can go ride your bikes up and down this sidewalk in front of the house while I finish dinner" I can't let them do that because I have to supervise and make sure these two kids aren't going to do anything to them. (injury wise or just stupid stuff like they've already been out with squirt guns and it's *maybe* been 60 degrees at the most. Not to mention we have no trees or anything blocking the wind. So I don't want my kids getting wet, it's too cold.)

(and even though my mom lives here, I found out last summer, the hard way, I really can't have her supervise them much...and our ideas of "clean house" are different.)

So, since it seems like I'm constantly out supervising kids lately, and I'm dinner-cook, that's all I've gotten done. So....by this weekend, our place was in *desperate* need of a good team-deep-clean. Which did happen, but not without much crabbing from DH...
So....how do I either A) keep it from getting that way again, while still supervising the kids or B) get DH to understand that since he lives here and he agrees that our children should not be playing while those kids in question are out without direct supervision....he should just accept that he will need to help me with an hour or so of team-clean-up on Sunday?

[rajahkat]

Does your dh like playing outside with the kids? So, yeah, you don't get to play, and you end up having to clean/cook while everyone else has fun, but it works for us in that situation.

[PreggieUBA2C]

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

I need to know how you all cope if you still have to provide pretty much constant outdoor supervision and yet still maintain a home you're not embarrassed to have people see.

Hi!

We have four children 6 and under (#5 on the way in 4 or so weeks) and the reason I do watch them outside is because we have a 29 month old and lots of predators here (grizzlies that frequent the property, 3' tall eagles- bald and golden, wolves- average male is 200lbs, etc...) and they are efficient and generally enormous. Our boys look tasty and while the three older ones can roam around together with periodic check-ins, the 29 month old doesn't consider proximity as important as they do for safety; he checks in when it's been a certain amount of time rather than when he's a certain distance away. Sooo, I'm out a lot with him moreso than the others.

We're also renovating, so I waive my otherwise likely embarrassment for now, but when we're not renovating, I keep the home clean(ish- we live on a farm with lots of clay and sand and wind, so there's only so much we can do) by having ample built-in furniture that houses everything we own and having very little in our home.

I decluttered about four years ago now and then we moved across country and came with only what would fit into a 4'x8' trailer hooked to our van. From there, we've increased our holdings, but we have very little stuff still. My rule is that if I cannot maintain it without undue stress (what I am willing to exert to have it), then it cannot be in our home. If someone else is willing to take up the charge of keeping it in its place and well-maintained, then that is fine. But nothing comes in that puts us over the limit of what we can reasonably and willingly take care of, keep tidy, have a place for, etc....

Four years ago when I decluttered and until this past December, we were also renting and couldn't do built-ins, so I built shelving that could be removed and leave only two screw-holes to fill for each full height shelving-case. My hard-core strategy for a tidy (if rather empty) house was to get rid of furniture too. Our living room was one open space with floor cushions that I made and we had no dressers or decorative tables or anything like that anymore. The boys share a big bed and I built shelving for their toys that were kept tidy in rectangular baskets. We kept all of our clothing, diapers, towels, sheets, etc... on shelves over the sorting/folding table in the laundry room. Kitchen cloths and towels were kept in a cupboard in the kitchen.

We reduced our dishes to only enough for one meal for all of us so that dishes were done after every meal and never piled up; I was usually finished washing at the same time as the dc were finished eating. That worked before, but now we haul water and I would prefer to wash dishes once per day because it is energy consuming to boil water that many times for washing. I've always been conservative with water use, but adding boiling to the task makes it impractical and less energy efficient, unless we only do it once/day, and then it's much better than keeping a water heater hot.

So, the way I do it is to have little so there's little to maintain/keep tidy/cean.

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

So, since it seems like I'm constantly out supervising kids lately, and I'm dinner-cook, that's all I've gotten done. So....by this weekend, our place was in *desperate* need of a good team-deep-clean. Which did happen, but not without much crabbing from DH...
So....how do I either A) keep it from getting that way again, while still supervising the kids or B) get DH to understand that since he lives here and he agrees that our children should not be playing while those kids in question are out without direct supervision....he should just accept that he will need to help me with an hour or so of team-clean-up on Sunday?

I would minimize possessions firstly, unless you've already done this.

Can you put up a winter fence or a fence that doesn't even go into the ground like a really big dog-run fence? Those are really expensive, but if you could ram four rods of rebar into the corners of your yard area, you could put up that not-so-pretty-but-effective (and relatively cheap, if that matters for you) rolled netting and while you'd still have to check dc a lot, you'd be able to move around a bit more, if it would suit your space to do that.

I would also be appalled if dp were not willing to work at keeping the home clean. I was appalled when that was the case for us, but after 7 yrs, we are finally at a point in our life wherein dp notices and doesn't gripe about cleaning! Living out of the city and him seeing that the cleaning we do is not just for cosmetic reasons- but reeeaaally needed- has given him a full understanding of why we do it. For years he thought that whatever cleaning I was doing couldn't possibly have been necessary, but of course, he was unaware of the dirt and didn't see me doing it, whereas now, there's just no denying the need, so he contributes of his own initiative.

BTW, if it only takes an hour of team-cleaning on Sundays to get your home clean, I think you must have this issue amazingly under control!!! And there's no way I would accept complaining from dp about that either; it's an hour. Seriously.

How many weeks are you pg now?

[Mizelenius]

Sorry to pop in here, but I was hoping for some advice!

We have 4 girls . . .not so "many" though you'd think I had 16 by some comments. A woman the other day kept saying, "Bless you! Four girls? Bless you!" But I digress!

My 2nd (newly 5) has been difficult since about the time #3 was born. Her main thing is teasing. She appears to enjoy teasing, and since she seems happy doing it, it just frustrates me all the more. Things have been very trying with her for the last 3 years.

Today, my baby was sleeping on me in the wrap and my other children were inside the house. So, it was just my 2nd DD with me outside. She was just sitting on the swing, so peaceful, so playful, so happy, so beautifully 5. I sat with her and we had the best moment. I feel like I got to see "her" today--- who she is, in all of her glory, without the distraction of her siblings. Very, very, very different than what I normally see.

I want to have that kind of time with her regularly, but how? She wants to go to Kindergarten this fall (oldest DD is homeschooled) so that will be even less time. Our weekends are so busy . . .not with classes, but just things we do together. I work (at home) so that is another factor in trying to carve out that time.

How do you do it? How do you make that time to see your children as themselves, independently? Normally we try taking them on errands alone (they take turns) but I realize now that this does not cut it. They are still tagging along, and we're not just hanging out.

As happy as that moment was, it was also sad. My poor baby! I wish I could rewind the past!

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

DH is pushing me to put the kids in school-- no-- and another homeschool mom said I might just have to suck it up and be a "workbook mom" for a year,

And then there is unschooling! I had to help my oldest with a rare project and wow, it was DRAINING. So hard to do with one little one squirming, grabbing everything, not happy in the carrier, etc. With twins?

I think the benefit of HSing is that you can just "be" when there is a major shift in your life like new babies! And school won't solve it all! You probably just can't complain to DH about HSing, though!

[gardenmommy]

jumping in... we've made it to almost 6 weeks pp here. finally feel like the fog is beginning to lift a little. baby is growing like mad, filling out.

annette, we hs too, but are going to put ds1 in school this fall, for several reasons. i am coming to terms with the idea that this does not mean that 1. i am less of a mom, or 2. i am somehow a failure in any way. the important thing is to do what is best for each child.

[peaceful_mama]

Originally Posted by PreggieUBA2C

Hi!

We have four children 6 and under (#5 on the way in 4 or so weeks) and the reason I do watch them outside is because we have a 29 month old and lots of predators here (grizzlies that frequent the property, 3' tall eagles- bald and golden, wolves- average male is 200lbs, etc...) and they are efficient and generally enormous. Our boys look tasty and while the three older ones can roam around together with periodic check-ins, the 29 month old doesn't consider proximity as important as they do for safety; he checks in when it's been a certain amount of time rather than when he's a certain distance away. Sooo, I'm out a lot with him moreso than the others.

We're also renovating, so I waive my otherwise likely embarrassment for now, but when we're not renovating, I keep the home clean(ish- we live on a farm with lots of clay and sand and wind, so there's only so much we can do) by having ample built-in furniture that houses everything we own and having very little in our home.

I decluttered about four years ago now and then we moved across country and came with only what would fit into a 4'x8' trailer hooked to our van. From there, we've increased our holdings, but we have very little stuff still. My rule is that if I cannot maintain it without undue stress (what I am willing to exert to have it), then it cannot be in our home. If someone else is willing to take up the charge of keeping it in its place and well-maintained, then that is fine. But nothing comes in that puts us over the limit of what we can reasonably and willingly take care of, keep tidy, have a place for, etc....

Four years ago when I decluttered and until this past December, we were also renting and couldn't do built-ins, so I built shelving that could be removed and leave only two screw-holes to fill for each full height shelving-case. My hard-core strategy for a tidy (if rather empty) house was to get rid of furniture too. Our living room was one open space with floor cushions that I made and we had no dressers or decorative tables or anything like that anymore. The boys share a big bed and I built shelving for their toys that were kept tidy in rectangular baskets. We kept all of our clothing, diapers, towels, sheets, etc... on shelves over the sorting/folding table in the laundry room. Kitchen cloths and towels were kept in a cupboard in the kitchen.

We reduced our dishes to only enough for one meal for all of us so that dishes were done after every meal and never piled up; I was usually finished washing at the same time as the dc were finished eating. That worked before, but now we haul water and I would prefer to wash dishes once per day because it is energy consuming to boil water that many times for washing. I've always been conservative with water use, but adding boiling to the task makes it impractical and less energy efficient, unless we only do it once/day, and then it's much better than keeping a water heater hot.

So, the way I do it is to have little so there's little to maintain/keep tidy/cean.




I would minimize possessions firstly, unless you've already done this.

Can you put up a winter fence or a fence that doesn't even go into the ground like a really big dog-run fence? Those are really expensive, but if you could ram four rods of rebar into the corners of your yard area, you could put up that not-so-pretty-but-effective (and relatively cheap, if that matters for you) rolled netting and while you'd still have to check dc a lot, you'd be able to move around a bit more, if it would suit your space to do that.

I would also be appalled if dp were not willing to work at keeping the home clean. I was appalled when that was the case for us, but after 7 yrs, we are finally at a point in our life wherein dp notices and doesn't gripe about cleaning! Living out of the city and him seeing that the cleaning we do is not just for cosmetic reasons- but reeeaaally needed- has given him a full understanding of why we do it. For years he thought that whatever cleaning I was doing couldn't possibly have been necessary, but of course, he was unaware of the dirt and didn't see me doing it, whereas now, there's just no denying the need, so he contributes of his own initiative.

BTW, if it only takes an hour of team-cleaning on Sundays to get your home clean, I think you must have this issue amazingly under control!!! And there's no way I would accept complaining from dp about that either; it's an hour. Seriously.

How many weeks are you pg now?

Well, we live in a fairly small space for all of us, so if I were to say, run the vaccuum in the entire place, that would probably be done in 30-40 mins? Including sticking the hose on and running it where i want to, corners and stuff.

And I think we've minimized as much as I have control on. Meaning DH still has what I consider a lot of clothes. My mom lives with us and I don't have control on what she wants or does in her room. But as far as the kids' stuff and mine, I've minimized about as much as I'm willing to. *maybe* a few 'extra' baking pans and such but we *do* use them all for different things.

Oh and I am about 11-12 weeks pg. (saw MW close to 3 weeks ago now and saw the bean? That was 8 weeks 4/5 days.)

[peaceful_mama]

So...what's your favorite part of having a larger-than-average family?

I came up with this the other day as I was cooking dinner. I had the sudden thought that I like cooking for 6 because I *can* make two smaller main dishes and it works without wasting food.

So I *can* make the stuff I know DH and I will love and the kids *might* try, and my mom won't eat....because I can make a second dish I *know* they will like, using similar ingredients so it's not really more work. (like on that particular day, it was two pans of fajitas--one chicken, for my non-seafood eating mom and a 'safe' kiddie option, and shrimp for me, DH and anybody else who might want to try it. I do it all the time with Chinese too--a spicy dish for us and any kids who might want to try it, a sweet-and-sour chicken usually as the other option.)

it's just all on the table as options, no real emphasis on anything being 'special' for anyone.

But back when it was cooking for just me and DH and one child, or even inviting my mom and dad over, I really couldn't do that.
Now I can, and I like it because it means I *can* make some things DH and I like without worrying about the kids not eating.

I can also do crunchy and soft tacos and not have a ton of leftover hardshells...

[baltic_ballet]

Yesterday was Mother's day here in Australia and got spoilt with breakfast in bed and lots of lovely pressies.