I'm 18 weeks pregnant with DC2, and DS is nursing (he just turned two a month ago). He's nursing a lot less than he was even a month ago, is great with accepting some new limits, etc etc etc.
I've expressed no desire to wean, have not complained at all about DS's continued nursing, and when people ask what I think about tandem nursing I say that there are parts of it that are daunting, parts of it that I'm excited about, and that I reserve the right to hasten DS's weaning at any stage of pregnancy or tandem nursing that seems like the right time.
And then they launch into all the reasons it might be easier to wean him now, rather than end up weaning him after the new baby arrives.
Well....I mean...if it becomes in some way necessary or seems like the right thing to wean him after the baby is here, then there will be some reason (even if it's just how I feel) and it will be better to wean him than keep nursing him...how is that "worse" than weaning him when I have absolutely no need or desire to do so?
I'm just annoyed at all the opinions. I am in a community that is very supportive of extended nursing - to two years and beyond - and I personally have a few friends who have tandem nursing experience. I'm reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing, I'm talking to my friends, I'm checking in with my own gut feelings about what is best for our entire family. Nursing isn't a freaking problem. It's actually less of a "problem" for me now than before I was pregnant, because DS is much more willing to accept limits!
Anyway, none of them is expressing any sort of "yuck" factor, just saying it'd be "easier" to wean him now. I realize that I could well be one of the moms who suddenly finds nursing her older child repulsive (like I said, I've talked to people, I'm reading the book, I know that I have no knowledge nor full control over how I will feel about nursing DS once DC2 is born). I realize that that could mean I wean DS rather suddenly and during a difficult time for him. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, and evaluate whether it would be less traumatic for our family to wean, or to keep nursing. Right now it would be more traumatic to wean than to continue, and who's to say I won't be fine nursing two once the baby arrives????
So annoyed. So so so annoyed. As if we don't have enough stress working out sleeping arrangements (DS will sleep alone, but he is much more wakeful, so we're considering moving him back into our bed), anticipating bedrest with a toddler, and simply having a toddler and being pregnant!
Sorry for the long rant. I'm really just annoyed. Like I said, no one is saying it's icky or that tandem nursing is bad or anything - it's more about the parenting aspect because everyone seems to expect I'll be desperate to wean as soon as the new baby is born. Hey, maybe. But if I've learned anything over the last two years of being a mom, it's that you might as well go with the flow and figure out how to make the CURRENT situation work, because you can't predict how you or your child will feel in several weeks - let alone several months! I mean, so I wean him now and in 5 months he watches his sibling nurse...that's not going to cause drama??? I'd probably end up nursing him again anyway, and then what's the point of going through the trauma of weaning him now????
I've expressed no desire to wean, have not complained at all about DS's continued nursing, and when people ask what I think about tandem nursing I say that there are parts of it that are daunting, parts of it that I'm excited about, and that I reserve the right to hasten DS's weaning at any stage of pregnancy or tandem nursing that seems like the right time.
And then they launch into all the reasons it might be easier to wean him now, rather than end up weaning him after the new baby arrives.
Well....I mean...if it becomes in some way necessary or seems like the right thing to wean him after the baby is here, then there will be some reason (even if it's just how I feel) and it will be better to wean him than keep nursing him...how is that "worse" than weaning him when I have absolutely no need or desire to do so?
I'm just annoyed at all the opinions. I am in a community that is very supportive of extended nursing - to two years and beyond - and I personally have a few friends who have tandem nursing experience. I'm reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing, I'm talking to my friends, I'm checking in with my own gut feelings about what is best for our entire family. Nursing isn't a freaking problem. It's actually less of a "problem" for me now than before I was pregnant, because DS is much more willing to accept limits!
Anyway, none of them is expressing any sort of "yuck" factor, just saying it'd be "easier" to wean him now. I realize that I could well be one of the moms who suddenly finds nursing her older child repulsive (like I said, I've talked to people, I'm reading the book, I know that I have no knowledge nor full control over how I will feel about nursing DS once DC2 is born). I realize that that could mean I wean DS rather suddenly and during a difficult time for him. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, and evaluate whether it would be less traumatic for our family to wean, or to keep nursing. Right now it would be more traumatic to wean than to continue, and who's to say I won't be fine nursing two once the baby arrives????
So annoyed. So so so annoyed. As if we don't have enough stress working out sleeping arrangements (DS will sleep alone, but he is much more wakeful, so we're considering moving him back into our bed), anticipating bedrest with a toddler, and simply having a toddler and being pregnant!
Sorry for the long rant. I'm really just annoyed. Like I said, no one is saying it's icky or that tandem nursing is bad or anything - it's more about the parenting aspect because everyone seems to expect I'll be desperate to wean as soon as the new baby is born. Hey, maybe. But if I've learned anything over the last two years of being a mom, it's that you might as well go with the flow and figure out how to make the CURRENT situation work, because you can't predict how you or your child will feel in several weeks - let alone several months! I mean, so I wean him now and in 5 months he watches his sibling nurse...that's not going to cause drama??? I'd probably end up nursing him again anyway, and then what's the point of going through the trauma of weaning him now????
