Help! 2-yr-old head banging so hard I had to call 911!

[malayasmommy]

My DD (30 months) bangs her head when she's mad. For the most part she'll just get down on her hands and knees, do a little "bonk", cry, and it's done. However today she purposefully hit her head on her crib so hard I had to call 911 because she had a HUGE black and blue mark on her head and she seemed disoriented.
Just a background on what happened--she went poop in the potty chair and then started running around, refusing a diaper (she does this a lot). So we have started to calmly say "OK, if you're not going to put on a diaper we are going to leave you in your crib until you tell me you're ready to put on a diaper. We don't want you to get poopy over everything."
(Now as I'm typing this, I'm thinking I don't agree with my own actions. But honestly, it's either manhandle her into getting a diaper on, get poop everywhere and spend 45 min cleaning it up, or...what? I'm not even sure the answer. Hard to know how to appropriately respond "in the moment". Anyway...)
I heard a HUGE bang, and go in there and find her gasping for air, looking disoriented, and within a few minutes the HUGE mark.
Have others dealt with this, and if so, how did you do it appropriately--setting limits, but doing so in a way that still shows you love them? I'm really lost, and I want to figure out a new way to deal with this...
Thank you so much. :-)

[AbbieB]

Oh mama! How terrifying!

I would take a deep breath and remember that your child just pooped. Chances of it happening again in the next 5 minutes are pretty slim (in most circumstances anyway.) Let your child run around for a minute all nakey. Don't turn it into a battle. After a minute or two try again.

If you are talking about a needs to be wiped butt than just scoop her up and put her in the tub and rinse. A hand held attachment is great for this.

I am currently dealing with my 2.5 year old son that thinks sitting in a poopy diaper is bad but getting wiped is even worse. I have gotten pretty good at wiping him quickly while holding one leg (so he can move a little but not get poop everywhere.) Than I give him that much wanted minute of bare bottom run around time before tackling him to put is diaper back on.

[blessedwithboys]

at 30 mos it may be time to lose the dipe altogether in the AM. if she can use the potty, let her. i doubt anyone has ever potty trained a child without a single drop of pee or poop getting on something somewhere in the house. LOL

[Drummer's Wife]

So, is she refusing to get cleaned up after pooping in the potty? Otherwise, I don't see how she will get poop all over. My 3 yr old often runs around naked, and if he just pooped then chances are he isn't going to go again any time soon, yk?

What did the paramedics say when they came? Honestly, 30 months seems way too old to be in a crib, to me, so I would take it down... and then it can't be used as a place for her to be put when refusing a diaper. It sounds like she was so frustrated and couldn't get out, so she banged her head. Now, surely she could still find hard things to bang her head on w/o a crib, but it might be the whole caged in thing that has her feeling punished for not wanting a diaper. And really, if she refuses a diaper, I would go with it.

I wouldn't, however, be okay with a toddler running around with poop all over them. Which it sounds like maybe that was the alternative to being poopy in a crib. It does sometimes mean I have to hold them down and clean them up, or put them in a shower (what usually happens with my youngest - and he may protest at first, but then he enjoys the shower once he is in). There's nothing wrong with that, IMO. It's not very hygienic to run around the house with poop on the bum...

[malayasmommy]

Apparently math is not my best trait, as my daughter is 27 months...and we are currently transitioning from diapers to pull ups AND were actually planning to move her to a toddler bed this weekend, LOL. But I digress...

It is an issue in that she won't let us wipe her and then runs around. The other issue is that she's doing this ONLY right before naptime, and bedtime. She's the master of distraction during those times.

Regardless, she bangs her head all the time. This just happened to be in response to the diaper change. I read through some old posts, one suggested offering a pillow for her to use to bang her head and then discuss her emotions afterwards. We've tried suggesting other options to express frustration such as stomp her feet but she always reverts to the headbanging.

We shall see...where is that handbook when you need it?!?!

I was also going to mention I am noticing how much sleep and diet are affecting this...ANY sleep deprivation, and a day of not eating as healthy as we normally do, have a significant affect on her. While it's challenging to always adhere to those standards, I now have new motivation to do so.

[carrie a.]

was reading your post for a friend whose child bangs his head and just wanted to let you know that we go diaper free quite often at my house. it's not the greatest thing to clean up poop but it really doesn't take that long and at 20 months, my dd goes poop on her potty 90% of the time. i know it has nothing to do with the head banging but i wanted to give you some encouragement about the pottying anyway!

[prancie]

my sister's son did the head banging thing, he grew out of it eventually. the key i think is prevention. make sure she gets enough sleep and is not overstimulated.

[lisavark]

My daughter went through a headbanging stage. She would drop on the floor and bang her head on the (hardwood) floor when she was frustrated. I managed to prevent them by watching closely and noticing her body language when they were happening. When she went all limp and collapsed, I would scoop her up and rock her, breastfeed her, do whatever I could to comfort her. Lately she's in a "I'm a tiny little baby" stage (no idea why, I'm not pregnant or anything!), and she loves to be rocked just like a baby and sung to. So I do that a lot.

With the diaper, yeah, let her go without! Maybe she's telling you she's ready for pottying. The easiest way to potty train is just to go diaper-free and let them pee on the floor for a while, I think. You could let her run around outside if you have a yard.

[malayasmommy]

I think prevention IS the best medicine in this case...I've been really paying attention, and also doing some heavy thinking, and as long as we are able to keep her pretty consistent w/ bedtimes, naptimes, etc. she does well. If she misses one...look out. Not so easy to do, but maybe ok to know in advance that it might happen when/if she is lacking in sleep.
On another note, I'd LOVE for her to go diaper-free (in hopes of quicker potty training!) but she actually FIGHTS me when I agree with her and say "OK, you don't have to wear a diaper. Let me know when you're ready." Kind of the "I want it both ways even though they are totally contradictory" toddler-speak. Just further evidence that it's not so much about diapers or potty training as much as an expression of frustration on her part.

[pbjmama]

Yeah, sounds like the head banging is a sensory overload response. My ds used to do it when he got too tired too. It is a skill to learn how they work!

[karika]

straight from potty to tub where you use a large cup to pour warm water over the backside and clean with your hand. No paper needed. Then wash your hands. Dry em off and let them run naked. (I do EC, so my baby is naked most of the time... so much easier than diapers I think). When she says she doesn't want a diaper, don't even bother saying anything. Just watch her run round and giggle and play. Struggles are too much of a PITA. Enjoy each moment. As for the head thing, that would be scary. I am not so sure from what you said that she did it on purpose however. It sounds more like she did it on accident. I agree with no cribs. I would not have one in my home. You can make a safe room if you think you need a place to put her for a few minutes (like if a parent needs a minute or two to get themselves together). Make sure the furniture is nailed to the wall so it can't fall over on her and nothing she can hurt herself with.