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Looking ahead, when to talk to kids about sex - Page 2

post #21 of 23
Originally Posted by laila2 View Post
I hope I can salvage.
You can salvage by going back on what you said, starting with "I know I told you I would tell you when you're older, but I realize now that I was just unprepared for the question. Since you asked then..."
post #22 of 23
Yeah, that's the great thing about these early years, there's always another chance to clarify

I've had a moment or two when I've needed to take a deep breath, and have said, "This can be a tricky thing to talk about. People can get shy, but everybody needs to know about this stuff, so I'll try my best not to be shy with you." It's honest and it buys some time to choose the best words.

I read a book years ago that had a great tip:
when a kids asks a question and it's hard to figure out how much information and detail to offer, ask them, "What do you think about that?" so their answer can give a hint about what aspect interests them and what level they're coming from.
The answer to "Where do babies come from?" might be "from love!" for a tiny kid,
(get back to details later) or... not from a man peeing in a woman's mouth and her swallowing it, but actually [...]

I try to bring up aspects of puberty, sex, menstruation, and such periodically as they fit into conversation, as if they were as natural topics as anything else around the house. I'm not 100% as casual on everything as I try to sound, but the more I do it, the better it gets. My goal is to have the kids feel like I am willing to speak openly and honestly about anything, anything under the sun. Tricky stuff!!
post #23 of 23
I agree with several posters that you give as much information as they are ready for when they are ready for it. It just becomes a natural process over the years. When they are old enough to find out the mechanics of everything you will know if you have kept an open dialog with them over the years because they will ask you. My mom NEVER talked about anything like this with us and when she found out I do she was major creeped out by it. My response was to inform her that it was much better for the kids to get accurate sensible information from home than to get fed a bunch of garbage from their peers. I remember around the second grade all the girls saying that you get pregnant from touching a boys pee pee. Sorry, no, I would rather my kids be armed with facts.

As far as anatomy questions go most of those questions are answered for my girls just by being around a pregnant and nursing mom on a regular basis. But I have made sure over the years to teach the kids proper medical terms and show them pictures and such of what all is inside and going on. I remember in highschool getting into a HUGE argument with two of my friends who said you could not wear a tampon while peeing because you couldn't because you block "the hole" when you wear a tampon. I seriously could not get these two girls to believe me that we do NOT pee out of our vagina. And one of these girls had been sexually active for over a year! It is so important to know how and why our bodies work the way they do. Same goes for our boys. Our oldest son is old enough now to start asking about his body to. Sad thing is that he probably understands the importance of the foreskin more than most adult men!

All that being said I also have taken care to explain that although you can physically get pregnant once you start your cycles that does not mean your body or your mind is actually ready for it. My oldest told me that after she thought of it she looks at her periods now as her body practising for when she is old enough to start trying for a baby. That although she could definitely get pregnant if she had sex it would be very hard on her body and her mind
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