Anyone have a crowd at their homebirth?

[laughymama]

Hi! I'm wanting to hear some stories/experiences from Mamas who had a group of friends/family at the birth.

So far I've really only seen one or two accounts of homebirths where there was more than the midwife and partner there.

With my first (hospital birth) there were 6 people there not counting my husband, nurses..etc. I loved having a group of people there to be a part of the experience even if things did not go quite as well as I'd hoped.

This time around we're planning for quite a few people to be there again. Sooo now I'm wanting to hear some stories of others who had a 'party' at their homebirth.

[LiLStar]

I'm a party birther. I had 2 midwives + apprentice and 2 doulas at my home birth. Plus dh. and dd sleeping upstairs. I think next time I want to have someone at the birth whose only job is to make sure I have something amazingly delicious to eat immediately after the birth. And fresh, warm, made from scratch cookies. That sounds like a good job for mom

[sanguine_speed]

[Belle]

I guess I had a party, because 6 people were there, but they were all involved.
Dh
MIL (she was Dd1's support person)
Dd1
2 Midwives
1 Apprentice.

I was not distracted or anything by the amount of people in our small apartment. I spent most of my four hour labor on the toilet. Not more than one other person could be in with me in our tiny bathroom so it was nice. I got into the tub while pushing and was not distracted by the spectators.

[Burnindinner]

I did! Me, DH, mw, mw assistant, my mom and my 3 sisters. Everyone was super helpful and respectful, and they all got to witness the birth and the moments after. It was lovely, and I would do it again in a heartbeat!

[cocoanib]

I had DH, MIL, sister, midwife and widwife assistant. During pushing SIL was there as well. I had a long labor and some of these people left and came back a couple of times.
We live in a 500sq ft condo, so i guess it was kinda a party.

[JorgieGirl]

I'm another birthing mama who needs her clan. At my DD's birth I had DH, 2 midwives, 2 sisters and mom. This time, the same people plus 2 friends and DD. I love the support and energy that my family and friends offer. I wouldn't do it any other way.

[jorona]

I'm having what I consider a lot of people there but it wasn't exactly intentional or what I expected. It will be my midwife, her assistant, my doula, DH, my grandparents (who will actually be staying with us starting 2 weeks before my EDD to help with DS) and possibly a birth photographer. DS might be in the room depending on the time and how he is taking things. My grandfather, while he will be in the vicinity, won't be present in my birthing area but my grandmother may.

I had envisioned a much more intimate birth but as I started getting more people involved I kind of lost count!

[triana1326]

With DD's birth I had two midwives, a midwifery student, my mom, DH and me. this time around, it'll be me, DH, DD, mom, my friend/doula, two midwives, a midwifery student, and a birth photographer. All of them know not to take it personally if I decide to tell them to clear out. I'm not a shy person, so I'm not anticipating any problems. Besides, my mom and my doula are primarily there to make sure that DD is taken care of. So I'm sure they'll just be running around the house, completely ignoring me...

[Meredith&Alexander]

I had a good-sized group both times.

DS1 there was:
MW
2 assistants
DH
My mom
MIL
(were there more? I thought there were more)

DS2 there was:
MW
assistant
DH
DS1
My mom
My dad
MIL
My sister
Photographer
DS1

So I added several people for the second go-round. I was happy for every person who was there, both times.

DS1's birth is the only one of my dad's grandchildren he hasn't been there for the birth, and he would have been if there hadn't been scheduling issues.

[HappyHappyMommy]

I have not had a homebirth, but saw this thread title on the main page...

At her homebirth, one woman I know had:
her DH
her mom and dad
her mil and fil
her brother and sil
2 MWs
1 apprentice MW
birth photographer

And another woman I know was part of a group of 12 women friends (she was not the birthing mom) at the birth.

[shishkeberry]

Not me! I don't even want my DP there! I want to go off in the woods and do it like a cat. I know that's not going to happen, but that's what I want

[kavamamakava]

Oh I sure did! Surrounding me at the exact time of my daughter's birth were my mother, my two sisters, my midwife, two of my nieces, my son and my partner. In the living room were my brother in law, two of my nephews, my stepdad and my mom's pet baby mongoose she found on the side of the road (because she didn't want to leave it at home alone). I didn't mean to separate the men from the women, but that's how it ended up. The guys entertained the kids and the women supported me during the labor. I had a tub set up on the screened in back porch and my nieces picked armfuls of flowers and decorated.

[Amynf1]

Originally Posted by shishkeberry

Not me! I don't even want my DP there! I want to go off in the woods and do it like a cat. I know that's not going to happen, but that's what I want

haha, you and me both! But I'm having my OB and his nurse, mw, doula, hubs and son. Thankfully the place where I am birthing (my doula/friends place) is really big and I will have a lot of privacy. The nurse and mw will only be seen if there is an emergency situation.

[yogamonkeyjo]

Oh heavens! I thought I was the norm with my first, but apparently I'm the biggest party birther of all!
At the actual time of his birth, there were only 9 people there, but that was just because it was fast compared to the drive from out of town for some family, who made it within an hour of his birth and brought the total up to 17. And I thought I was keeping it to a minimum. It was wonderful. I had spent plenty of time thinking about who I would want there AND who my son may want there. Now that I'm pregnant again, and this baby seems so very different personality-wise, I think it will be a true minimum of maybe the midwife, my son and my partner. It really felt right to me for that child and, knowing him now, it was right. He likes a party. We even had champagne, birthday cake (with a big "0" candle) and sang him happy birthday. It was like Christmas morning and we loved it.
I think that, like everything else in birth, the answer is to be flexible and know that you won't know what you need until you're there. I told everyone both times that I may or may not want them there and there were no hurt feelings either way. My out of town family had a backup location if I decided to send them away, so they would have somewhere to go and hang out with friends until it was time to come back and meet the baby.

in fact, here you go, like i said, i love a party!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p...edium=text_url

[smeep]

I had my midwife, her assistant, my mother, father, two sisters and niece (who was 6 at the time) so seven people in total (DS's bio dad was never involved). Next time I'll probably have at least one extra (DS), if not more.

[cileag]

I had:
2 Midwives
1 Apprentice
Mom
Sister in law
Husband

It was perfect---for most of my labor, my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and so it was great to have the distraction of that many people. I stayed upstairs and people rotated through. Occasionally I asked for specific person but usually it just natually evolved. They were all present for the actual birth though and cheered when I announced "It's a girl!".

The we all had cake and pizza and champagne---so wonderful.

[Comtessa]

We had:

DH
2 MW's
Mom + Dad
SIL
MIL

... but I suspect it was too many people. My MW thinks that the stress of having so many people around was part of the reason my labor went so slowly and I ended up having to transfer. Or maybe it was just mom's angry/scared energy in the house.

MIL and dad weren't invited but came anyway, and I'm glad they did -- dad was a good support person for mom, who wasn't handling the whole HB thing well, and MIL brought enough chili to feed four hundred people. She and SIL stayed home to drain the birth pool after I transferred. (Someone on this thread last year had to transfer for an emergency C-section and while she was gone, the tub sprang a leak and destroyed a LOT of stuff. I wasn't taking any chances.)

[cocoanib]

Originally Posted by Comtessa

We had:

DH
2 MW's
Mom + Dad
SIL
MIL

... but I suspect it was too many people. My MW thinks that the stress of having so many people around was part of the reason my labor went so slowly and I ended up having to transfer. Or maybe it was just mom's angry/scared energy in the house.
MIL and dad weren't invited but came anyway, and I'm glad they did -- dad was a good support person for mom, who wasn't handling the whole HB thing well, and MIL brought enough chili to feed four hundred people. She and SIL stayed home to drain the birth pool after I transferred. (Someone on this thread last year had to transfer for an emergency C-section and while she was gone, the tub sprang a leak and destroyed a LOT of stuff. I wasn't taking any chances.)

My MW suspected that I was feeling pressured to get the baby out because evryone was there and waiting. Even though nobody made me feel that way. Twice during labor she suggested everyone clear out adn give DH and I some alone time. That really helped and I was able to recharge during those times.

[jljeppson]

I've had some births where there was a crowd.
1st HB- Just DH, midwife, and apprentice. Total-3
2nd- DH, my mom, 1st child (2nd child was asleep upstairs), midwife, assistant. Total- 6
3rd- DH, all 3 boys (though #3 was asleep). One of my brothers and one of my sisters showed up within 10min and my birth support (2 women) showed up maybe another 10 min or so after that. My two other brothers and 1 more of my sisters also showed up later so at any given time I had 6 or more people there after the birth. Total- 6 or more
4th- This one was a doozy. DH, my mother, all 4 of my boys (youngest stayed upstairs during pushing), my same sister that arrived just after my last birth, her 4 kids (who stayed upstairs for the whole labor and until after cleanup), midwife, and assistant. Total-13
5th- DH, all 5 kids (though daughter slept until one of her brothers got her up right after baby delivered) same sister, and a friend. Total- 8

If we have more (after 6 kids, probably not) than it will probably just be us and the kids since I will no longer live near that sister and that friend, though I suppose I might make new friends that i felt comfortable enough with to have there. We loved our two UC's so will probably do any other potential births that way.