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May Pagan Circle - Page 19

post #361 of 638
Quote:
Originally Posted by unschoolinmom View Post
All in all, they don't want me to have this baby. And dh's mother told him in a letter (that was in a birthday card for our son) that we needed to get rid of this one because two grandchildren were enough for her.
Seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY? Wow. I am so sorry. That just makes my heart hurt.

Could you maybe write a letter from the two of you, kindly laying it out that if their cannot be some love and respect there, you won't be able to have a relationship? I mean, in terms that really are non confrontational, full of grace, etc, which I am not really able to think up right now, because I am reeling that a parent would say that. geez.

And yes, you can adopt parents, my parents have been adopted by many of my friends.
post #362 of 638
I think he ended up having a long conversation with her. I sometimes don't understand families who are THAT into controlling their children, as I could not do it to my own. But that's just how we were raised.
post #363 of 638
Thread Starter 
DeShanna- Holy cow! What a horrible woman!
post #364 of 638
DeShauna - Oh my word! What a horrible thing to say, write or even intend.

s to you!

DOK - Saw the RE teacher's statement and that is not cool in my book. gah my kids would have taken it seriously and geez the emotions would have run high then. As Jack now says - well why did you say it? if we say something and didn't mean it or swear or whatever. Kids take statements quite seriously. I'm sure he would have questioned this too.
post #365 of 638
DeShanna: that is just horrible. that makes me angry. why do people say things like that. ugh!

h
post #366 of 638
Thread Starter 
p.s.- ds's father (D) and D's mother both wanted me to get an abortion.
Some people really stink.
post #367 of 638
Yes they do suck. People don't think before they talk most times.

But to another interesting issue. I want a pram stroller, like badly and the cheapest ones are not under $200. I feel weird having dh and dp get it for me because they are going to be doing so much more. Also, dp is gone away to his native country of France because his grandmother is very ill and it's the oldest boy's responsibility to care for the elderly. We really miss him.

He'll be back in time for the baby and a few weeks after, but then has to go back to continue with family stuff. We'll probably be joining him sometime next year if he's still there so the kids could see Paris and have a fun time there. HIS mother is awesome, open to our very odd relationship and absolutely loves the kids as though they were her own grandchildren.

Any idea where to find a pram?
post #368 of 638
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeress View Post
Cari- we have had to "remind" the kids very firmly, that rough housing on the playstructure is a mega no-no, cause someone hurt their nose badly. One family left the group and never came back. We had to make the rule that rough and tumble play happened on the ground or not at all. It was infuriating cause a few people were like, "they are having fun, i don't want to be involved." I was ready to stop taking the girls due to a few people.
I emailed the organizer about what happened this morning.. I wanted to have a talk to her yesterday but she was tied up most of the day. She'll probably get in touch with me today and we'll discuss it. I just think the older kids need to be reminded that they are BIG and that is a SMALL space (it's about 8feet square.. and 4 levels UP) and that they need to be aware of the level of excitement) It's not like they aren't getting to burn off energy.. they have gymnastics and sports classes on either sides of the breaks

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
She said "What if your parents never pick you up and you have to stay here forever?"
what a STUPID thing to say to young children!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Millie Ivy View Post
What really set me off at the beginning is that the mom ran out immediately and said "Riley was taunting him!" I kind of ignored her to tend to my howling crying boy and ice his face. Another mom (really soft spoken and sweet) said "well, I think he could have controlled his fist..."

OK, I am not really being helpful, just bitching.
hehe bitching is allowed I would have gone OFF at that mother.. I don't care if he WAS taunting him, the kid had zero right to punch anyone! GOod on the other mom for saying something.

This is the first term with so many older kids... the group has grown a LOT. I think a big part of the problem was that Kylie arranged with the PCYC (sorta like the Y) to have the pool table/game area available for the older kids as a place to hang out sans parents and little kids. Well.. yesterday that whole section of the building was blcoked off as they were stripping/waxing the floor or something So the teens really had nowhere to go.. and what happens when teens have nowhere to go? They usually end up finding trouble

Quote:
Originally Posted by unschoolinmom View Post
Cari-We don't talk. But my family is persistent and when you're the youngest of 8 children, 7 of us girls, it's hard to get away from "her" through them. She called, left messages, we deleted them. My sisters called, and when they started telling me what she was saying I'd hang up. Finally they showed up at the house.
You could adopt my IL's .. they rock I would seriously be telling them that what they were doing was harassment and to cease & desist or you would seek legal advice. There may not be a legal thing you can do unless they threaten you.. but THEY might not know that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
p.s.- ds's father (D) and D's mother both wanted me to get an abortion.
Some people suck.
Wow.. do these horrible people actually get to spend time with your son now???? I think all bets would be off after that crap.
post #369 of 638
OT: do your kids play without you around? like at parks or around the neighborhood (if they are old enough or capable of that?). are you afraid of them getting kidnapped or hurt? do you hover?

i am part of a discussion on something else, and there is so much fear. i am like the only one who allows my kids to just go out and do stuff. i do have limits and certain kids can do certain things, but they get alot of time to just sort of exploring and doing their own thing. some of the people even talked about their kids not knowing how to play?! how is that possible? all my kids do is play (ok and they fight at times. lol). my kids do what i did as a kid, what my mom did and alot of what my MIL did (she is 80), they play tag, climb really tall trees, roll down hills, make believe, jump rope, hide and seek, knights and bad guys, all sort of weird fun stuff. when the HS group meets at the park the kids are gone. the parents are there, but we may not see the kids for hours as they run around. they swing in occasionally for food and water. they all look after each other, if someone gets hurt someone will walk them to the moms, big kids hang with little guys. i guess i have been doing this for so long it seems totally normal to me. we did it back in AZ and the hs group we are with in ME does it the same way. some of the comments made me feel weird, like i was neglectful. but i love giving them that freedom, they are with me so so much of the time. i don't know. ah well. lol just thinking out loud i guess.

h
post #370 of 638
DD is teething - hard. She's been having a hard time nursing b/c of it. She's even skipped most of her evening "cluster." We'll probably be at it all night. She got her first tooth in last Monday - her bottom left incisor. Now her upper left is breaking through. My pumpkin moon baby is going to have a pumpkin smile.

Regarding rough-housing: DS has really gotten into it at daycare. There is a group of boys that apparently tussle a lot. They're all 2. One of his teacher's think it is actually rather funny - but I don't think she encourages them, but out of the classroom when the kids are outside, she has described it with some glee. She's an older Russian woman and likes it when little boys are "manly." her English is fairly broken though so it is difficult to tell exactly what she means. DS loves her - she sings all the time, is teaching them some Russian, and does the morning craft with them. I just hope she isn't actually encouraging them. ??????

Deshanna - I am so sorry you have to deal with such toxic family members. But very cool about DP's mom. I'm glad your kids get to have one good grandma. Love is so much more than genetics.
post #371 of 638
Liza- At 2, children are just beginning to move away from the me stage, sure they are and can be empathetic, but in general their needs/desires are so at the top of the list, which means rough housing can get out of control very easy. I would talk to the director about your concerns- cause I can say, while I let kids rough house, I also didn't encourage it. I found it necessary for some children but not funny. Maybe it is a cultural difference but still, finding it silly concerns me. Young children have trouble expressing when they have had enough, they need adults to intervene when necessary.
Did that come off as a lecture on child development? I hope not, just expressing why I don't encourage rough and tumble with 2's.
post #372 of 638
Thread Starter 
Starting physical therapy for my shoulder this morning. I hope my shoulder and elbow are better by my Barefoot Conference this august. It's not just a conference, it's a party! I don't want to be in pain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by unschoolinmom View Post
Any idea where to find a pram?
Kids consignment store? Craigslist? Floor model at a store?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post

Wow.. do these horrible people actually get to spend time with your son now???? I think all bets would be off after that crap.
Unfortunately, the court system doesn't give a flying fig how ds's father treated me.
(I'll write details about this in a more private setting.)
post #373 of 638
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
OT: do your kids play without you around? like at parks or around the neighborhood (if they are old enough or capable of that?). are you afraid of them getting kidnapped or hurt? do you hover?

i am part of a discussion on something else, and there is so much fear. i am like the only one who allows my kids to just go out and do stuff. i do have limits and certain kids can do certain things, but they get alot of time to just sort of exploring and doing their own thing. some of the people even talked about their kids not knowing how to play?! how is that possible? all my kids do is play (ok and they fight at times. lol). my kids do what i did as a kid, what my mom did and alot of what my MIL did (she is 80), they play tag, climb really tall trees, roll down hills, make believe, jump rope, hide and seek, knights and bad guys, all sort of weird fun stuff. when the HS group meets at the park the kids are gone. the parents are there, but we may not see the kids for hours as they run around. they swing in occasionally for food and water. they all look after each other, if someone gets hurt someone will walk them to the moms, big kids hang with little guys. i guess i have been doing this for so long it seems totally normal to me. we did it back in AZ and the hs group we are with in ME does it the same way. some of the comments made me feel weird, like i was neglectful. but i love giving them that freedom, they are with me so so much of the time. i don't know. ah well. lol just thinking out loud i guess.

h
We just started letting DS1 do this with his friend next door, mostly its going outside in our backyard and running around. DH was so nervous the first couple of times because we hung in the house to let them have a bit of freedom (windows open so we could hear them and yell if we heard fighting, etc..) Rules are simple - stay in our backyards (they're next door to us) and no hitting.

Its been fun to watch Jack blossom with this bit of freedom and independence and just have fun with his friend. Hovering doesn't let them have that feeling of being able to explore I think. DH is more a hover-er, but I think its because he's around the boys so much, and I like to give them more freedom.
post #374 of 638
Deshanna and DoK

Up to the day before DD1's birth, my own father told me I should have abort. Then my baby stole his heart. To a point where I had to remind him that he was not her father.


I'm feeling better. No more pain and a clear mind! Yay!

I have lots of work to do... Making my own planner cause I can't find one I like in French or that include homeschooling without a serious religious slant in English.
post #375 of 638
Morning ladies - just popping in to share an amazing dream I had last night.

I took a wonderful epsom salts bath (just with 2C for a full jacuzzi bath), candlelights, (kiddos in bed, DH gaming downstairs), and just relaxed.

Then I crawled into bed to meditate a bit, snoozed and had this wonderful dream. She was there - BIG, snuggly, round and full of love, light. Honestly it was like looking at rainbows and stars flooding into the dark. In front of her was a series of goddesses and gods - like little statues, you know those saint statues. I saw - Hera/Juno, Demeter, Athena, Venus, Artemis, and I think Hestia then Apollo, Mars/Aries, and Neptune. Finally I was walking around my house and seeing where I needed to make little areas for each. I need water by my front door with some peacock feathers. Venus is upstairs in my bedroom & bathroom - I have a picture of 2 hearts she wants moved ASAP. Demeter is cool with my kitchen garden currently, Athena wants an owl and more books by my office/study, Apollo would like some homeopathy books along with a guitar. Mars/Aries - something fiery I'm just not sure what he wants yet.

The others - Hestia, Artemis and even a bit of Mars/Aries were not exactly loud about their demands and I think once the others have settled in getting their wants, I will be able to hear what they are looking for.

It was cool to have this moment - and wake up a bit and realize I just got a message. The divine is amazing and is helping me make sense a bit more of how I see all of this interacting together.
post #376 of 638
ktg- Cool dream! My first thought was- did ya write it down so you won't forget any of it?- LOL I haven't had enough coffee yet this a.m. I guess

letting kids run and play- My girls are getting older ( 8 and almost 11) and we live in a neighborhood with tons of kids and it's a secluded neighborhood- no thru streets. I let the kids play outside, but I keep a door or window open so I can hear them or see them. When my oldest wants to go out of sight range she takes a walkie talkie so I can still contact her. I am comfortable with all that, but I def have areas I don't feel good about- they don't go inside homes of families we don't know well, and in parks and stores they have to stay in line of sight. We don't live in a huge metro area, but it's still large enough that I think this is what's called for, for my level of safe secure feelings. I would love it if I felt we lived in an area where kids could have more freedom- I think that's good for them.

I hope everyone is feeling good today

I haven't caught up yet- I still can't believe it's mid May.
post #377 of 638
I think I saw my baby! In a dream last night. This is the sixth time I've seen this baby. And she's a little girl. Oh and remember the "little girl spirit" that the kids kept speaking of? She's gone. Could it be? Did I see her?
post #378 of 638
wow! what amazing spirit dreams!
post #379 of 638
pm'd you, aweyn.

Wow, you guys don't make keeping up easy! I tried to start responding last night, but I was too impaired with sleep deprivation to drive, and much to impaired to post on the internet. Feeling better today, though.

Totally understand and agree with the outraged responses to the horrible things family have said to you, unschoolin and DoK. And that UU teacher is a UAV for what she said to Roo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
:
Actually, I realized something a bit wacky. I put a lot of stuff on my TM about being happy. "I AM HAPPY" is actually the quote right at the center of the map! And I think about this a lot... so today I realized that while I "want" to be happy, I'm also leery of happiness. It's like, I feel as if I'm not getting a lot of attention or support in the day to day life stuff. So I'm depressed or down and this gets noticed and then people offer to help out or offer a hug or something like that. But if I'm happy, what then? Will I lose the little support I do have because people assume I'm ok with the situation?
You know, Clay, I think of you as maybe the most sanguine personality I have encountered -- able to deal with whatever absurdity of stress that life throws at you with that intelligent, wry humor of yours.... happiness is something slightly different, though? You deserve happiness too!

You do have a lot on your plate-- I'd be whining about the food allergy issues, let alone the renos, freaky accidents, general craziness of parenting 3 very little ones, etc. etc. You do it with such style, you make it look easy. But if it is ok for the rest of us to complain when life sucks and say out loud here that things are not ok (and I *insist* that it be ok, because I've got lots of complainin' to do myself) then it is ok for you to do it whenever you need to, you hear? What a confusing sentence I just typed. But my life has no time for revision lately, so on I go...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeress View Post
Clay- I totally hear what you are saying. Though, isn't that what we pride ourselves on as a people? We come and help and be a good friend to a friend in need and then silently fade away as soon as the person is well. Maybe that is why I like being at MDC, because we support each other in all ways, in all settings. We revel in each others joy and cry in our sadness.
*hugs*
I had to quote this, because it is very wise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mindfulmama03 View Post
Hi, I'm new to the group but I just wanted to say hello!

Alicia
Hello, Alicia, and welcome to the group. The activity ebbs and flows and when it flows, it flows very fast. Please just jump in and share what you are moved to!

femme rouge, glad your ds is ok with his dad. Hope you find your witchy self, because witchy self is a lot of fun!

Quote:
Originally Posted by femme_rouge View Post
I'm working on focusing on being in the moment what ever it is. This is such a struggle for me. I'm really more in the noticing stage-noticing when I'm anxious and restless and not just being. I'm trying to honor the value of this stage. Sometimes I'm just so rebellious about doing this though.... Oh well, I'm a work in progress.
Good for you. A lot of people never notice themselves properly, ever.
I think I do sometimes, but I'm a work in progress too. (How boring it would be to be "finished", though!")

Millie, I don't think 14 weeks is that early -- I had 3 first tri losses, and they all affected me deeply. 2 were over a decade ago, and I still notice and think about their due dates and the dates of loss. I'm glad you are feeling better -- know what you mean about it creeping up without warning. Sounds like you and your dh are handling the situation well and working together on your plans for the future. Good for you both!

Liza, I love your life. Sending vibes for Joe of the Green Goo.

[QUOTE=liza-s;15413892]A busy weekend for us: guiding birds walk.

Unschoolin, didn't realize your dp was away. That's hard. It rocks though, that his mom is so supportive of your family!


Ok, all I can do now, but there's going to be part two later on.
post #380 of 638
s to all.

Things have been insane here the past couple of days. My EX-DH (I don't think he popped up yet when I left last time, well he's back and begging me back) just got out of his month long stay for treatment of PTSD yesterday. He came to see me @ work. Its very confusing to have him somewhat back in my life. All he does is apologize to me for what he considers "the biggest mistake of his life, that he will pay for every. single. day."

DBF and I got into a pretty big argument that we still have not discussed. Apparently we are going to discuss it tonight when he gets home from work *nervous*

Had my counseling appointment today and I need to write a blog starting with the sentence "I have lost myself" and somehow turn that into a letter to myself as well. I just can't seem to think clearly enough to pour everything out.

I need a vacation. Anybody want to come kidnap me?
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