or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › May Queer Conceptions 2010
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

May Queer Conceptions 2010 - Page 7

post #121 of 402
lauren: Sorry things are funky, hope they'll get better soon!

korey: I debated the crazy lady with baby stuff idea, but I decided I didn't care. If I don't have one, someone else will get some really great stuff!

coco: Not over until it's over!!!

escher: Glad you're in a good place with it.

library: My temps are crazy this cycle--maybe yours are too? Keep peeing on sticks...

Lost fans: Ugh. I was sobbing. I agree, who are they to mess with us at this emotional time in our lives?!?!

AFM: Planning to head to KD's house Monday through Wednesday as of right now, waiting for OVWatch confirmation. Tentatively have found a house--rental application has been sent and waiting to hear. Now, I just need a job.


1. Do you plan to find out the sex of the baby?

Nope. Not a big fan of ultrasounds...so I guess we'll wait to see what my intended midwife (who I haven't haven't actually met) thinks about them. I have an intense girl feeling, but I wouldn't be disappointed or upset with a boy. Ex-DW and I both had dreams about our girl, and I feel like she's still waiting for me.

2. Do you have names picked out?

I have two definite girl names and one tentative boy name. I have a much harder time with boy names for some reason. E and I had one of each, and they were perfect, but...yeah.

3. Do you already have baby items and/or do you have any superstitions about that?

I do in fact have baby stuff--the first purchase was entirely impulsive and actually on the way home from my first insem, some clothes from Oshkosh, 'cause every kid needs Oshkosh overalls. Since then I just randomly add to the pile (which is really a dedicated drawer). It's mostly clothes, but my mom has bought a doll and a stuffed giraffe, and I have a moby wrap and a diaper bag that I carry as my regular bag. And I have a skein of yarn and a sweater pattern but I won't start knitting until a BFP. Superstition-wise, I won't buy anything that's not unisex even though I find girl clothes nearly irresistable. But I don't think that's superstition, really. Just the thought that if I buy obvious girl clothes that I'll never have one.
post #122 of 402
Originally Posted by korey View Post

2. Do you have names picked out?
We have our girl name, but DP would murder me in my sleep if I told a soul!

Originally Posted by korey View Post
3. Do you already have baby items and/or do you have any superstitions about that?
I'm more buying things for other people. When I see something cute, I buy it for other people's babies!

I did buy a few baby stuffed animals for my "fertility alter" (which is just our bedroom dresser). I'm reluctant to buy a lot of baby stuff for our baby, because I'm afraid of becoming a crazy lady who collects tons of stuff for a nonexistant baby! There's a Lifetime movie where a woman has an imaginary daughter. In true Lifetime fashion, that movie is unintentionally hysterical and I would hate to go down that road myself!
@ the crazy Lifetime lady! You're funny I too have a fertility altar with real baby dust on it.
post #123 of 402
Originally Posted by seraf View Post
Library - I agree with Newbian, Ivy isn't necessarily out. I mean, do you spend several days a week with the cousin (because there isn't a chance she could be in class 5 days a week with another kid who shares a name)? And with all the blended families today, you could easily get a cousin married into the family with an unfortunately named baby anyway. I have a step-cousin with my same name, then 2 cousins have daughters called Sydney. My dad and my (adopted) brother had/have the same name. Heck, I have a partner and a soon to be SIL with my first name. It is occasionally confusing, but it's always fun. I say don't settle for something you don't like just because someone beat you to it.

That's exactly what I was trying to convey.

Originally Posted by chiquitayy View Post

1. Do you plan to find out the sex of the baby?

Nope. Not a big fan of ultrasounds...so I guess we'll wait to see what my intended midwife (who I haven't haven't actually met) thinks about them. I have an intense girl feeling, but I wouldn't be disappointed or upset with a boy. Ex-DW and I both had dreams about our girl, and I feel like she's still waiting for me.
This is so sweet, made me cry
post #124 of 402
Originally Posted by chiquitayy View Post
lauren: 'cause every kid needs Oshkosh overalls.
I could not agree more! We bought both our nieces' first pairs I especially love the conductor ones!

Originally Posted by korey View Post
You know how they estimate your due date by the first day of your last period? Well, that makes me 11 days pregnant.
Right on! I really like the way you think!

chiquitayy- good luck with the job hunt!

lauren- I am sorry that you're unhappy with your job, that is incredibly hard! I hope you can find something that makes you happy or at least other outlets to balance it out!
post #125 of 402
Originally Posted by Newbian Mama View Post
AmandaHope - I didn't realize you were using PRS as well. Are you in SF or LA (I understand if you don't want to say). I'm in SF and I like that PRS is so close to me but I loathe the parking

Best of luck with this cycle!
Hi, Newbian. I'm actually in the midwest, now, but I used to live in Berkeley and used PRS when conceiving my DD. We're using them again, because my KD lives in the Mission in SF. I'll be in SF next week. I'd love to meet over coffee if you are comfortable with that! PM me if you'd like.
post #126 of 402
Newbian Mama - I found a video clip of that Lifetime movie for you! http://www.mylifetime.com/movies/flick It's called "Invisible Child." You might have to click on the image for it. I wish I could have found a better clip, but this is good enough. The movie actually stars Rita Wilson, even though you don't see her here.

The only reason I even know about this movie is that DP loves Lifetime movies. This one is her all time favorite. She considers it a comedy.

I also like names like Blue and January. And if you have a common last name, then they really work nicely!

burg - Thanks! How many days pregnant are you?

Library - Have to say I agree with the rest of the girls. Ivy is still on the table! (And no offense to your cousin, but Iphigenia is the real "Punch Me in the Face" name!)

Chiqiutayy - I totally understand! I think I'm just prone to getting carried away and thus could easily cross the line into crazy Lifetime movie.

seraf - Have fun tonight! Don't get DP drunk and take advantage of her. Or do.

lauren - Sorry to hear that it's been difficult. Good luck with the procedure. Let us know how it goes!

escher - We're doing ICIs, so there's more flexibility on the first insem. And yeah, most people say to test OPKs multiple times a day and don't do FMU. But the new good doc and the other doc said FMU only. Beats me!
post #127 of 402
Sorry I've been MIA, I work a lot and also trying to finish up a dissertation! Tomorrow is One week post ovulation and I am having my progesterone levels checked because of my inconsistent temperatures this cycle. Still keeping my fingers crossed that I'm preggers and none of that will matter next week.
post #128 of 402
Thank you Newbian Mama, I was inspired by yours I have been enjoying reading everyones responses- so varied!

I am 9 days pregnant in that case, Korey! Thanks for asking!

Crossing my fingers for you, Maxk!
post #129 of 402
Hey all...

Well we dont really know what is going on with our cycle... Its 14 DPO today, we never made it to 14 DPO in all the time we have been charting DP's cycle (close to a year), average LP is 11 days and the longest have been 12 days... Now, still no sign of AF, temp is still up somewhat even if its a bit lower than it was... but the tests all come back very obviously negative.... Does anyone know if clomid can lenghten your LP ? This is our first clomid cycle after all...

Other than that, here is our answers to the QOTD ! (Good ones btw !)

1. Do you plan to find out the sex of the baby? Yes !!

2. Do you have names picked out? Yes we do, For boys we have two, one that she likes better (Étienne) and one that I like better (William). We decided that if she gives birth to our boy, then we will gove it "my" favourite name and vice versa ! For girls, we like the name Charlie. We also had a much harder time finding girl names.

3. Do you already have baby items and/or do you have any superstitions about that?
I have a few things, like blankets that my grandma knitted.... but we are waiting to know that we are pregnant before really buying things.
post #130 of 402
MaxK : I hope with you that you are pregnant ! What is your dissertation about ? Is it the end of your studies, like a masters' thesis ?

chiquitayy : Good luck for the house and the insems ! And the job will come soon too I bet !!! How about a 3 in 3 this month ?? hehehe. I love OshKosh overalls too !!! I remember overalls from my own toddler years.... aperantly, that was my first word LOL.

Everyone else... Best of luck for insems or the infamous TWW...

My turn for a QOTD ! What do you do for work ??? (I dont remember if we ever had that one ???)

I am a social worker. I am specialized in domestic and family violence issues and I do clinical supervision and training throughout Quebec for people working in different fields that may come in contact with victims of violence or children exposed to conjugal violence (social workers, shelter workers, women's centers, hospitals, police(WO)men, nurses, doctors, lawyers, etc.). Because of this, I am very often on the road for many days at the time. I am also the coordinator of an organization called the "Cran des femmes" that offers psychological and physical self-defense classes for women and teenagers.

post #131 of 402
QOTD: I'm a hospital nurse on a general medical-surgical floor. It's a tiny (25-bed) hospital with very little specialization, so if they're not in the ICU, the ER, or having a baby, they're mine! Unless, of course, it's a slow night on my floor and I'm in the ICU or back in Labor and Delivery (obviously my favorite). I don't help much in the ER, and I've only been to the OR for C-sections, but I do pretty much everything else in the hospital when they need it. I love the job, and they offered me an L&D position in January, but I had already decided to move and had to turn it down. It's also not a fun commute. Hopefully I'll have a fun job in Asheville, right now I'm being considered for a clinical research coordinator position, where I'd be in charge of running all the clinical trials in the hospital. I also do a lot with Girl Scouts, so that's kind of my secondary job!
post #132 of 402
korey - Hahahahaahahah!! That clip was hilarious with the phony dramatic movie. I do love that guy though although I can never remember his name. I agree with your DP that Lifetime movies are pure comedy. I love the one with the cheerleader murder. Ok, that didn't sound right but you know what I mean

Speaking of movies, have you all seen "But I'm a Cheerleader" starring Natasha Lyonne? Whenever I'm having a bad day I can pop that movie in and crack up! And it doesn't hurt that Natasha's really cute

Thanks for the name love. I know I'll be the talk of my family if I use an unusual name but I'm already a bi, natural-parent-wanna-be, frozen donor sperm using solo mom-to-be. Might as well add crazy-baby-naming-chick to the mix

maxK - At one week dpo, are your progesterone levels different enough to be measured? That's awesome if you can, because you won't even have to suffer the 2ww.

Coco99 - Sorry I don't know anything about Clomid although I thought it only affected the first part of your cycle. Maybe DP doesn't have enough progesterone built up yet. Are you using FMU? Which test are you using?

BTW, I love Etienne for a boy and Charlie for a girl. I think there is an MDC member who's DD's name is Charlotte and they call her Charlie. Too cute! Do you all like other French names? How about Fleur for a girl? It means "flower" in French (like Fleur de Lis).

QOTD! What do you do for work ???

I do nothing at all! LOL! I was laid off in 2008 and spent 2009 looking for a job along with the other 400,000 people. I decided to switch gears and become a real estate agent. I finish my last required class in a couple of weeks and I'll take the state exam in June. I love the whole real estate process, and I want to specialize in helping first time home buyers.
post #133 of 402
coco, yes my dp's cycle was lengthened the first time she took clomid - by several days as i recall and then she had the af from hell. i hope that's not the case for you and those hpts will turn positive soon!!

qotd - i'm in IT. have been since i graduated college back in, <gulp>, 1990!! yup, i have been living the geek dream for 20 years! i'm a unix/middleware admin.

post #134 of 402
QOTD: I work for the Girl Scouts. I have had people tell me how 'cute' that is. I'm an executive. I write grants, work with statistics, deal with HR issues,...it's wicked adorable! I am also a specialized (therapeutic) foster parent and am lisiting that as well because it is a lot of work but very worthwhile.

I used to be the director of a residential program for adults with mental illness and then the assistant director of a treatment center for adolescents. I loved the work but it was heartbreaking dealing with kids in crisis while trying to deal with 'systems'. Supervising direct care staff was also like banging my head against the wall at times. I miss that field a lot though and plan to go back to it at some point.

Can I ask a follow up question? Are you doing what you planned to be doing/thought you would be doing?
post #135 of 402
Hi, all!

QOTD (with follow-up):
I'm a professor of Women's Studies and U.S. History. I'm working on a book about women, girls, and American sexual culture in the 1940s and 50s. I love, love, love my job and feel incredibly fortunate to have it. Although I never thought that I'd be a professor when I was growing up (for a long time, I wanted to work in a travel-oriented field, such as development or NGO work), this is what I've been working toward since late college, and I'm thrilled that it is working out. However, I only get to keep my job (ie, get tenure) if I publish my book, and that is a very daunting task. I'm plugging away at it, though. I'll be working on it all summer.

Looking forward to reading others' answers...
post #136 of 402
escher - So sorry about your BFN. You have an awesome attitude about it, and I only hope I have your strength should the need arise.

Newbian - I still plan to test on the 12th. Hopefully I can wait that long. How are you feeling? I agree that Blue, January, and Thursday are fantastic names. Go with your gut! It reminds me of that book/movie "The Secret Life Of Bees" where there are sisters named April, May, June, and August. Awesome book, btw. I love "But I'm a Cheerleader"! I just watched it a couple of weeks ago, in fact.

Korey - I'm so glad you like your RE. He sounds like he knows what he is talking about! Sometimes it's just easier to put your trust in a professional, though I'm not sure I could obsess any more if I were doing this on my own! Hearing about your fertility altar made me wonder if we should start one. OH, and I absolutely LOVE Lifetime movies. We moved here a year ago and never got cable, so it's been a while since I've had my fix. DP is not so much of a fan. I'll have to see if I can get my hands on the movie you were talking about!

Burg - Libby, Reed, and Sebastian are awesome names.

Max - Fingers crossed for you!

Coco - I love "Charlie" for a girl. Very cute! Your work sounds very rewarding. I've still got my fingers crossed and hopes up for you and DP.

Chiquitayy - Your work sounds rewarding as well! I'm sure you'll have no problem finding a job you like in Asheville.

AFM, no more symptoms to obsess over. I couldn't feel less pregnant.
I wanted to say how much I love meeting you all on facebook! To those who aren't comfortable with it, I totally understand. Some people just feel more comfortable on here being anonymous, especially when talking about cervical mucous! I, on the other hand, would probably bring up that subject if we met in person! I feel a very strong connection to this group, seeing as how we're all queer and riding the TTC roller coaster... Don't worry, I won't post on your wall questions about your vagina. I love you guys!

1. Do you plan to find out the sex of the baby?

I don't know if I can wait until the birth, but DP wants to be surprised.
2. Do you have names picked out?

Funny, this question reminded of the names I had picked out at age 14. I wanted twin girls, and I wanted to name them Denym and Layce. Yeah. Good thing I grew out of that. For this baby DP and I wanted to choose a name that was original yet easy to spell and pronounce. We have chosen... drum roll... Trulie for a girl and Tru for a boy. My sister snickered when I told her. I think she was just mad we're not naming a girl after her, but DP says Tiffany is a stripper name.
3. Do you already have baby items and/or do you have any superstitions about that?
We have not purchased anything for the baby yet. There may be underlying superstitions about that in our house, but we really haven't talked about it. We did visit a natural children's store a couple of months ago and found several things we wanted, but we just said, "It's too soon." I'm sure we'll go crazy and spend a fortune once that BFP comes along. On second thought, I'm of the mind that "if you believe it will happen, then it will happen", so maybe I should go shopping now!
What do you do for work ???
I don't! I haven't worked since leaving Arizona last year, and I LOVE IT. Luckily DP makes enough money for the both of us as a CIO. She also works from home, which is great. We'll both be stay-at-home moms! And yes, that is what I always imagined I'd be doing.
post #137 of 402

15 DPO bfn again....

Hey everyone !

I like the conversations we are having !

QOTD followup ! : I wish I was a stay at home mom For a while anyway ! But yes, I am doing exactly what I envisioned doing ever since I became involved with the women's movement when I was 18. I want to change the little bit of the world that I can reach... and so far, I know that I am succeding in supporting workers who, in turn, are better equipped to help women and children who are victims of violence. I also do have a few women and children that we directly support through my organization but because we are not funded, I dont have alot of time for that part of my work... but I have 4 women and 4 teenagers that I do my best to support through terrible experiences related to conjugal violence. I do my best... I know I help them... for sure, they help and inspire me in my trainings ! But unfortunately, my little bit of help is not enough when faced with abusers who just wont let go... Thats the hard part of my work.

Ok so for our news....... I am chalking it all up to clomid (Thanks to those who answered with your experiences... Indigo, I think our situation may be like yours). Its 15 DPO today (???!!!???) and temp is stable near the top of the chart but every test we have done have been negative (Dollar tree ones sensitive at 25 with FMU). So we are expecting AF and are really beginning to wish that this cycle was over now.

Newbian Mama : Yes we like other french names... the main reason being that we are french ;-). On our list is Samuel (pretty multilingual that one), I like Philippe, Alexandre also but its taken many times over around me...

Happy Mothers Day to everyone ! Hopefully, next year we will all be celebrated as mothers ! In the mean time, I celebrate us because we try really REALLY hard to be mothers ! So Happy Mothers-to-be-day !

post #138 of 402
Hi girls~

I feel like Ive been MIA for ages (aka 2 weeks) I got to start using my OvaCue saliva monitor this cycle and it has been SO NICE to not worry about sticks & peeing on time etc. It's super easy and less stress, HERE'S HOPING its as accurate as it is easy.

We still havent picked a new donor, so that is definitely on the agenda. Im still so attached to our old one, it's been a challenge to sit down and go through all the info again.

Good luck and Happy Mother's Day to all of us trying our damndest to be Mommies soon.
post #139 of 402
qotd follow-up - yes! i always wanted to be working with computers and even had one at 11 or 12 and was programming in basic! lol! my dad was in IT too and i thought he had the coolest job.

coco, i wanted to add that dp had THE most perfect chart on that cycle and was convinced she was pregnant. on our actual bfp cycle her chart was awful and she didn't think she was pregnant. go figure.

post #140 of 402
Hey ladies~ happy mother's day~ let's hope that next year we get to celebrate as actual mothers! My DP and I went grocery shopping today around noon and people were there buying Mother's Day cards and I just wanted to say "Wow, your mom must be important to you for you to be here, probably on your way to her house for lunch, scrounging up a card from the leftovers!" but maybe I'm just cranky (maybe?).

We totally missed our O. My temp's done nothing but go up, and the sticks are all blank, but the most telling thing of all is that my mucous has gone from eggy to nothing, which is the way it happens as soon as the O happens. I feel so let down! Not as let down as a neg after the 2ww, but let down, as I was already in the mindset for the cycle, wondering if this was going to be the time, etc. So it's been a bit of a sad weekend for me. Boo. It was the progesterone, I do believe. It lengthens my lp by a few days, but apparently just makes the next cycle slightly shorter, so it's probably for the best, but like I said, disappointing. Ah well~ onward and upward!

Coco~ how's it going? I'll bet you guys are completely frustrated, but I'm going to think about the bajillion stories on the internets of ladies who didn't get their BFPs for the longest time. As long as you got no AF, keep your chin up!!!

Escher~ sorry about your bfn. You and I shall go onwards and upwards together.

Newbian~ how you doing? I'm glad you're loving the book and I'm eager to talk to you about it. I've been reading some really great stuff lately (I love my giant pile of award books to dip into. Some of them are really really awful, but even that can be fun, since I didn't pay for any of them). I just read a book that's the story of Hamlet from the point of view of Horatio (as in "Alas, poor Yorrick. I knew him, Horaito.") who is a scholar and secret lover of the prince. Now I'm reading a book set in a Japanese prison camp in WWII. Grim, but interesting. MY QOTD answer I think everyone already knows: I'm a librarian. Elementary school at present, but with hopes to work in an academic library setting once my DP's done with her PhD and goes to be a prof somewhere. I'd love to work at a reference desk and just answer people's questions all day long. Fun! (nerd fun!)

To hearken back to our name discussion, thank you to the gals advising me to still use Ivy, since I do love it, but I just feel like it's been ruined now. It wouldn't be like naming her after a beloved aunt, it's just using that name that just recently got used, and my baby's going to be way too special to have a recycled name! I forget who asked me, but yes, she did know we liked it, and again, if it'd been a question of 'she got there first' I could be maybe okay with it, but to give your kid this pretentious punch-me-in-the-face name that apparently YOU don't even like enough to use day-to-day and then take my name as your nickname is just bitchery and makes me mad. So probably some stubbornness is included in this as well (yeah, just a bit...). I can't wait til her kid gets to middle school and comes home crying because people call her 'Itsavagina'. Maybe then she'll wise up to what she's done to her child.

I know I've missed people and haven't personally replied, but I have read all and think about you all. I'm always scattershot on the weekend and will be a better poster next week. xoxoxox
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Queer Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › May Queer Conceptions 2010