The Weekly Edition!! May 1-6 - Page 5

[~Demeter~]

My husband has been unemployed for almost 2 years now... there's not much in the way of jobs right now. I think that's part of why I don't want to say anything as well... but I'm not asking anyone for help. We're managing all on our own. So it's really not their concern, I guess, right?! This is also #5. No one is excited about big families anymore. Imagine what the Duggar family hears all the time. pfft.

[birthdancedoula]

JSMa. You can get through this. We're here for you, mama.

So sorry, Nic. Any other hb mw options in your area??

[~Demeter~]

A friend passed along a couple names for me so did my doctor's office. The atmosphere in IL is pretty sad for HBs. Hopefully things will work out for me... otherwise I'm seriously considering UP and UC. I can't do a hospital again.

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by ~Demeter~

My husband has been unemployed for almost 2 years now... there's not much in the way of jobs right now. I think that's part of why I don't want to say anything as well... but I'm not asking anyone for help. We're managing all on our own. So it's really not their concern, I guess, right?! This is also #5. No one is excited about big families anymore. Imagine what the Duggar family hears all the time. pfft.

We're on #5, too. The only congrats I got that didn't sound weirded out & forced was from my mom (my maternal side of the family is HUGE and big families are the norm). We're also in IN and I have a homebirth mw from IN that we are seeing. According to the IL friends of midwives group, the bill got named and *hopefully* will finally go through this year. Got to cross our fingers!!! We lived in Rockford when #4 was born and the birth climate was terrible. We had medicaid and only the drug addiction/HIV clinic was giving prenatal care. The waitlists for prenatal care with medicaid were soooo long and dh's insurance wouldn't kicked in at his new job until I was 9 mos pg or so. I was treated terribly and they kept talking to me about my "options" and all the people who would love to care for my baby, etc. I never would have left NC if I knew how atrocious the "care" was. And we couldn't afford a midwife out of pocket after moving cross country...we ended up UCing which was great, but I want a mw this time.

honey-lilac- What a lunatic! That's really quite hilarious that she said that. OMG, who would buy that? For nursing bras, with #3, I just converted my regular ones to nursing bras with Jan Andrea's instructions. I used a cheap snap press instead of the swimsuit connectors because they were available to me. It was easy and I had nice bras.

[~Demeter~]

I had my oldest son when I was 15 years old. I was on state insurance because my grandma (my guardian) could not afford to insure me. I wrote up my very traumatic experience and posted it in the healing birth trauma forum. I think it has colored ALL of my birth experiences, coincidentally ALL inductions. I have never (aside from my miscarriage) gone into labor naturally. I will UC if I have to because I think the hospital seriously hinders my body from doing what it needs to do.

[quelindo]

So, almost everyone has been happy for us -- except for DH's sisters and grown niece, who we're sort of on the outs with. It's a long story, but suffice it to say that we have pretty much nothing in common with them and they are incredibly self-absorbed and self-entitled. Anyway, I left telling them up to DH, and he said he wasn't going to. (And up until now he's been the one trying to keep in touch with them.)

He did, of course, tell his two grown sons and his teenage daughter who has Down syndrome, who of course told her mother. Somehow one of them must have told DH's sisters (they are friends with the ex, another part of the long story) because when the oldest saw my in-laws almost two weeks ago she said, abruptly, "So I see we're having another baby." My FIL (who is a sweet man, but who avoids conflict at all costs) said, "Yep." My SIL said, "Yep," and my FIL said, "These things happen."

My wonderful MIL (she's actually DH's stepmom, his mom passed away eight years ago and FIL remarried this wonderful woman who adores me and despises my SIL's) told me this. Nice. What's up with "I see we're having a baby"? They take absolutely NO interest in our older son (at his birthday party they brought him no gifts, just cards, and ignored him the whole time) -- now they want to lay claim to our next baby?

And DH's sisters have not called DH to congratulate him, even though things were sort of left on good terms.

Man, they suck as human beings.

[my kidlets and me]

Originally Posted by ~Demeter~

No one is excited about big families anymore.

I hear you. Our next door neighbour is a urologist and dh gets jabs about "going in and getting done". We're not interested in a vasectomy, thank you very much.

Ever since #3 was born, I have been putting out the word that we want another (not to family, who has all been supportive, but mostly to acquaintances), so I have only been receiving positive feedback about this pregnancy. Dh gets a lot of ribbing at work...man, if they said some of the things to me that they say to him, I would give them an earful.

I've always wanted 4 - probably because I'm one of 4 myself. This baby is probably the most planned we've had.

OK, gotta make dinner - dh is running the kids ragged at the park right now - it's been a frustrating day, and they all need to have the energy run out of them, for ALL our sakes.

[new york momma]

What is SAHM?

[~Demeter~]

Originally Posted by new york momma

What is SAHM?

stay at home mom

[MamaFern]

bobbi, this is the same for us, though im the youngest of 3 but my mom is adopting a boy now, so i guess i am one of 4.

i like the number 4.. and like you, this is def. the most planned, though it seems like no one really gets that..

im over my freaking out how are we going to do it all.. im getting my energy back now that i have so much to do at the new house. i have torn out all of the trim around all of the doors and windows inside, taken down the cupboard doors and washed the insides and walls in the kitchen in prep. for painting starting tomorrow i have my heart set on matt black tiles for the kitchen counters..now i just have to find them.. and i know the colour im going to paint the walls in there and the dining room.. kitchen colour similar to this (scroll down to the green) with white cupboards and a black countertop. i think it will look great.

[Stitches]

This is number 2 for us but I would like to have more, despite our fertility troubles....I've been trying for years to get my husband used to the idea that people can and do have *gasp* more than 2 kids. I think it's terrible that anybody would judge anyone else on their family size, I'm sorry that so many mama's are going though this right now.


So we're midway through getting our basement developed and I'm getting irritated. Did you know that drywall installation is very, very noisy? Sounds like an angry elephant is cavorting in my basement, and it scares DD. I had planned on being out of the house most days but the weather here has been horrible (think 2 blizzards in a week) and I have no where to go and nothing to do. At least we had gymnastics class today and were able to escape and then hide out at my mom's house. We're doing this now because we need the space but I'm adding home renovations to my list of things NOT to do while pregnant.

On the plus side I had a delicious supper of sushi. Yum yum. I have no qualms about eating raw fish while pg.

[HeatherB]

Thanks for the support, mamas. I'm trying to relax tonight after a decent nap with the toddler. Indulging in cane sugar Dr. Pepper (from Dublin, TX, perhaps the only place that never switched to HFCS ), and DH just pulled Italian sausages off the grill.

Demeter, I hope your leads work out! My sister got married last August and moved to Chicago. They're not ready for children, yet, but I am hopeful it will not be too hard for her to find someone supportive of normal birth when it's time. We're in TX where the laws are (currently) great, so it's hard to think about being somewhere that's not supportive. I did just see two or three HBs in Chicago on Baby Story, though. I hope there's someone great near you!

I can't believe how many people are doing major house work! Yikes! I wish we had some experience... but my DH is NOT handy and I have never done anything, either. Oh, well. We are glad we have friends to call when we need to paint and do fixing up stuff!

Okay, dinner's ready!

[Joe'sMama]

Originally Posted by MamaFern

i have my heart set on matt black tiles for the kitchen counters...with white cupboards and a black countertop. i think it will look great.

I love black and white kitchens! A friend of mine reused the slate tops of dicarded pool tables for her kitchen countertops. I never asked her where she found all of those pool tables.

I think I got three jabs from my baby today, I've been feeling a kind of swooshing movement for weeks but these felt like true kicks!

I feel for all of you not getting enough love when you've made your big announcements. What is it about pregnancy and parenting that invites so much judgement from other people?

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by ~Demeter~

I had my oldest son when I was 15 years old. I was on state insurance because my grandma (my guardian) could not afford to insure me. I wrote up my very traumatic experience and posted it in the healing birth trauma forum. I think it has colored ALL of my birth experiences, coincidentally ALL inductions. I have never (aside from my miscarriage) gone into labor naturally. I will UC if I have to because I think the hospital seriously hinders my body from doing what it needs to do.

I had #1 when I was 17 after being told at 16 I would never have kids. I had a myomectomy and have had to fight a c-section every step of every pregnancy. Not to mention the terrible condescending attitude that many hospital employees give young parents. After I UC'd #4, I transferred for a piece of retained placenta and you would have imagined I was a kindergartener to many of them. Hello? I worked in healthcare for years and I'm a responsible mother of 4 now, give me a break! I can't blame you at all for wanting to UC. I think there are 1-2 homebirth midwives still up in Northern IL, maybe one close to IN, and one in/near WI if I'm recalling correctly. Have you found either of them?

[~Demeter~]

Originally Posted by kittywitty

I had #1 when I was 17 after being told at 16 I would never have kids. I had a myomectomy and have had to fight a c-section every step of every pregnancy. Not to mention the terrible condescending attitude that many hospital employees give young parents. After I UC'd #4, I transferred for a piece of retained placenta and you would have imagined I was a kindergartener to many of them. Hello? I worked in healthcare for years and I'm a responsible mother of 4 now, give me a break! I can't blame you at all for wanting to UC. I think there are 1-2 homebirth midwives still up in Northern IL, maybe one close to IN, and one in/near WI if I'm recalling correctly. Have you found either of them?

There are a handful in the area... a friend passed along a name and I emailed her yesterday. Last night she said she would call me today, so I'm awaiting the call! I'm actually quite excited about it.

I'm sorry for your experiences, sweetie. Women are strong and go through so much and yet are still able to come out on top. I had condescension from medical people... just because I didn't go to med school doesn't mean I don't know as much as you, lol. I've done a lot of educating myself.

[MamaFern]

joe'smama, that's a great idea~! the pool table counter tops i mean.

Demeter, i really hope that you find a midwife that suits you..if that is what you want. It is really nice to be able to have a choice in the matter, either way.

heatherB: i have been getting the odd blue sky natural cane sugar cola..for some reason i have a strong craving for caffeine this time around


my morning started out with a messy kitchen, spilt smoothie all over a nice linen tablecloth, my two year old, a white chair (cloth) and the floor
and me feeling very pissed off at my messy house..
so instead of going to my new house and painting im going to put on some loud indie rock music, kick my dp and children out of the house and try to clean up around here. i have been pretty apathetic, but when i cant find anything and there is sh%t all over the floor and clean laundry mixed with dirty and piles of it on my bedroom floor and bathroom too i have had enough. im still feeling exhausted, but me feeling irritated about the state of my house might just overpower that exhaustion until i get it under control again.. and im going to pack some more things up while i go..especially kitchen stuff.. my new kitchen has about 2 x as much cupboard space and counter space..im really going to love having somewhere to put things down without covering the entire surface.

so wish me luck. my house may eat me alive.

[GeekyGreenie]

Demeter, before we decided on a midwife group at a hospital due to a few health concerns about me, I'd found a few homebirth midwives in the northern IL area. It looks like I shouldn't be posting the information publicly here, but is there a way I could pass you the information? You might well already have it, but it seems worth a try...

[~Demeter~]

Originally Posted by GeekyGreenie

Demeter, before we decided on a midwife group at a hospital due to a few health concerns about me, I'd found a few homebirth midwives in the northern IL area. It looks like I shouldn't be posting the information publicly here, but is there a way I could pass you the information? You might well already have it, but it seems worth a try...

If you want pm me with the info. I found a pretty awesome website that had a lot more information than most for the area.

[Ellen Griswold]

Originally Posted by MamaFern

my morning started out with a messy kitchen, spilt smoothie all over a nice linen tablecloth, my two year old, a white chair (cloth) and the floor
and me feeling very pissed off at my messy house..
so instead of going to my new house and painting im going to put on some loud indie rock music, kick my dp and children out of the house and try to clean up around here. i have been pretty apathetic, but when i cant find anything and there is sh%t all over the floor and clean laundry mixed with dirty and piles of it on my bedroom floor and bathroom too i have had enough. im still feeling exhausted, but me feeling irritated about the state of my house might just overpower that exhaustion until i get it under control again.. and im going to pack some more things up while i go..especially kitchen stuff.. my new kitchen has about 2 x as much cupboard space and counter space..im really going to love having somewhere to put things down without covering the entire surface.

so wish me luck. my house may eat me alive.

I'm cleaning house today too. My mother-in-law is coming for a visit (she's awesome and will take me out to eat ) and I feel compelled to shovel out of the clutter for her. I officially switched all my clothes to maternity clothes and that required cleaning my closet - gag!

[karen1968]

My in-laws just left (yesterday) and I should be cleaning house, but I just can't muster the energy. Might have something to do with being 11 weeks pregnant and having a toddler who woke me up at 5:30! I think I'm going to lay on the couch and read for a bit, while DS is at preschool. Maybe after a bit I'll be able to get the floor swept and the toilet cleaned :/

BTW, I hate this stage of pregnancy. I've gotten over the excitement of getting pregnant, but I'm not showing and I can't feel the baby. For some reason I feel like I'm lying or playing a game when I mention being pregnant