Military Moms: May - June - Page 19

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by ~Katie~

I just wish Tricare would have covered it if they were supposed to

Yeah, that just doesn't seem right. Someone must have messed up somewhere. Was your u/s ordered by a CNM, NP or MD? I know TC wouldn't cover an u/s for me without an order from one of those. My CPM could not order one for me. That's one reason I decided on having dual care with an OB, which I now think was a big mistake. After my experience with the OB practice, I would've much preferred to either have paid for the u/s out of pocket or just not had one.

When I was pg with ds1, I only had one u/s at around 18w and that was because I didn't know how far along I was. They didn't do anatomy scans or routine u/ses back then. Personally, I think u/ses are overrated. I've read articles that say they have more negative aspects vs. benefits.

[~Katie~]

That didn't even occur to me but her CPM status may be why. That was not the reason I was giving for denial of coverage, though. The radiology clinic is independent but the ultrasound techs are hospital employees, they had no problem doing my ultrasound with my midwife's script and had worked with her a lot in the past. I was shocked when I got the letter and actually showed my pregnant neighbor and she was just as shocked because she had already had 3 ultrasounds by that point and was expecting at least one more, and Tricare had covered all of them.

My 20 week ultrasound actually happened at 26 weeks because I wasn't in a hurry to get it done, but my midwife just wanted to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. That could be why they wouldn't cover it as well, but online is clearly states that they will cover ultrasounds for certain criteria regardless of stage of pregnancy.

This is was Tricare says about it: http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/jsp...re&topic=Women

I would think evaluating fetal growth would meet criteria for the anatomy scan.

[MommaKitten21]

Hey ladies! I'm just popping in to give an update on some *hopefully* good news!

DH ships out in 36 days, and I had a midwife appointment yesterday. 1 cm dilated all ready of course, since I am only 33 weeks, this little one needs to bake for three more weeks... BUT there is a huge chance DH will be here for the birth!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by ~Katie~

My 20 week ultrasound actually happened at 26 weeks because I wasn't in a hurry to get it done, but my midwife just wanted to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. That could be why they wouldn't cover it as well, but online is clearly states that they will cover ultrasounds for certain criteria regardless of stage of pregnancy.

This is was Tricare says about it: http://www.tricare.mil/mybenefit/jsp...re&topic=Women

I would think evaluating fetal growth would meet criteria for the anatomy scan.

Yes, I think that would qualify. Another thing that occurred to me last night is that the radiology clinic may have inadvertently used the wrong billing code. That happened to me when I had an u/s at the ER with ds3 when I was around 7w pg. Everything from that ER visit was covered except the u/s. When I called TC the person told me it was because of the billing code used. I explained that everything else had been covered so she gave me the correct billing code. I called the radiologist's office. They resubmitted the bill with the new billing code and TC covered it. TC wasn't about to do anything about it themselves, though. It never would've been changed if I hadn't taken care of it.

Mommakitten ~ That would be wonderful!

[MommaKitten21]

This might be a stupid question but.....

If DH is not here for the birth, how will we get his name on the birth certificate? Doesn't he have to sign it? I cant remember all the steps we did to get the birth certificate when our son was born, and cant recall if DH had to be there to sign anything.

[~Adorkable~]

in most states it is presumed that the husband is the father, and really you can put down whoever, it is up to the m to argue (i know this because i had to get my own fixed, it had a stupid boyfriend that we didn't even know when i was born on it!!)

i would more focus on making sure you have all the paperwork set up so that you can enroll your child in DEERS without him there, that is important for any medical care
there is a form that he can get, probably from JAG to give you power POA specially for DEERS stuff, it is also super nice to have if you lose your ID card and need to get another one.

[MarineWife]

I didn't have any problem putting my dh's name on ds3's birth certificate even though he wasn't here. A general POA is all you need to take care of most things while your dh is gone. The only time I had to get a special POA was to apply for a mortgage for our house.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by MommaKitten21

This might be a stupid question but.....

If DH is not here for the birth, how will we get his name on the birth certificate? Doesn't he have to sign it? I cant remember all the steps we did to get the birth certificate when our son was born, and cant recall if DH had to be there to sign anything.

Dh wasn't here for DS's birth and his name is on the birth cert. The lady doing it just asked, "Father's name?" and I spelled it all out. No big deal.

[~Katie~]

There was a specific person with the health department that I had to deal with since I had a homebirth but it was pretty straight forward to file for it myself. I filled out my birth worksheet and put DH's information down and that was it, submitted all my required paperwork (including copy of POA) and it wasn't an issue.

[MarineWife]

Have you all seen this?

Colenel's Wife Accused of Harassing Soldiers

[~Adorkable~]

Wow, I wonder how amazingly bad that situation had to be for them to deal with it so officially and sworn statements and all? I'm glad to see they are. I'm sure most of us have dealt with unhealthily command wives, but wow.

The timing is kinda funny for me, I just finished most of a careful dance of getting away from our1st SGT's (who I adore) wife ( who is proving to be a unstable pain in the butt) I have the flexibility of that we are leaving the unit, and that I'm so close with the 1st SGT that he privately agrees with me, but it was still scary to tell her to butt out.

[gagin37]

http://www.fayobserver.com/articles/...03278?sac=Home here's the story from our local paper here in Fayetteville. It's all the buzz up here.

eta: it looks like it's the same article.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by •Adorkable•

I'm sure most of us have dealt with unhealthily command wives

I have never had a problem with any of my dh's command's spouses. I have had to deal with an unstable spouse, who just happened to be our FRO (same as a FRG leader), but not the wife of my dh's CO. The issues with her that I was involved with were personal and only affect the unit because she was the FRO not because she was doing anything to any of the other families. She did abuse her position for personal stuff that was not directly related to the other families. It was/is a really bizarre situation, ongoing because she is in jail awaiting trial, again not for things related to the unit but the entire unit was affected because she was the FRO. Gosh, all of that is confusing, huh? Sorry.

[~Adorkable~]

yeah i have nevr had a probelm with an actual comand spouse, just with some spouses of very high ranking hubbies or FRG realted things. the one i have been dealing with recently is that os the 1st SGT rather than the comander, she is very nice. and i used to have to tip toe around the FRG leader becasue she was bitchy and nt up for the job anymore, but her hubby was my hubbies direct superior in day to tday things.

of course im FRG leader know nd i bend over backwards to be as helpful and nice as i can, hopefully i broke the cycle in this unt for a while

[EdnaMarie]

Originally Posted by •Adorkable•

oh and that "Award of Fatherhood" that i gave my DH as a way to tell him i am preggo....
i need to go get a cluster for it or something.

http://www.adorkable.me/

+=

Okay, I haven't been at MDC as it is just SOOOO addicting, but here I am again, and I am so happy for you, Adorkable. Congratulations. I will be sending good thoughts to those babies in there.

Re: Drinkwine: How screwed up. Talk about drama! Our FRG seems pretty normal but I am clueless as regards drama so who knows. It might all be going over my head.

I'm supposed to become a POC sometimes soon. That should be fun. I am glad to take on a little bit of responsibility.

[~Katie~]

I haven't heard of that particular situation while here until now, that's really shocking. I have to agree with the article that the attitude of the commander's wife having some kind of power and influence is one held by a lot of older generations. I can't believe he didn't reign her in because now he's really damaged his own career and credibility pretty much beyond repair. When my DH first got in the Army I met a lot of LTC's and above wive's because they were family friends and such, and the sense of entitlement was pretty shocking to me. Their behavior at times was down-right horrific. It's not something I regularly observe among younger wives.

I've only had one run-in with psycho behavior in our FRG (some of you know the details). I never ended up finding out who she was but it was an eye-opener forcing me to make myself even more transparent. Some people thrive on drama and power over others, it's almost sociopath-like in a way.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by ~Katie~

When my DH first got in the Army I met a lot of LTC's and above wive's because they were family friends and such, and the sense of entitlement was pretty shocking to me. Their behavior at times was down-right horrific. It's not something I regularly observe among younger wives.

I haven't run into this at all but I stay pretty detached from my dh's units. I'm jut not into most of the military life stuff. I go to functions only with my dh when he wants to go and it's a family thing.

Originally Posted by ~Katie~

Some people thrive on drama and power over others, it's almost sociopath-like in a way.

Yeah, and that's so foreign to me that I'm always shocked by it. It's possible that many of the people who apply for jobs like FRG leader or FRO are the type who are like that. They want the job because they think it gives them more power and status over others. Present company excluded, of course.

[~Katie~]

I almost think it comes from boredom. The internet makes it even worse because you can find any information about anyone and one can use it to their advantage if they want to threaten or blackmail someone, as it appear's this woman did according to the article. I never thought I'd become a target like that online because I stupidly assumed I had more privacy and really only have this group to vent to since I don't have anybody in real life. I'm not involved in our FRG at all and don't regularly go to events, either. It's not worth it to put myself out there, because clearly if someone wants to do harm they will go to any length to do it so it's best to just remain anonymous. There doesn't even have to be a justifiable reason for it, it's just insanity.

[Soul-O]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

I didn't have any problem putting my dh's name on ds3's birth certificate even though he wasn't here. A general POA is all you need to take care of most things while your dh is gone. The only time I had to get a special POA was to apply for a mortgage for our house.

Out here (Ft. Lewis), the units are telling us that we need specific POAs for pretty much every transaction (i.e. DEERS, bank accounts, buying/renting a home etc.) because of rampant general POA abuse. When DH deployed, we ended up getting about 10 different specific POAs based on possible scenarios. I would suggest speaking with, or having your DH, speak with the JAG officer assigned to his unit regarding which POAs are required and/or if a general POA will suffice.

[Soul-O]

Originally Posted by ~Katie~

I haven't heard of that particular situation while here until now, that's really shocking. I have to agree with the article that the attitude of the commander's wife having some kind of power and influence is one held by a lot of older generations. I can't believe he didn't reign her in because now he's really damaged his own career and credibility pretty much beyond repair. When my DH first got in the Army I met a lot of LTC's and above wive's because they were family friends and such, and the sense of entitlement was pretty shocking to me. Their behavior at times was down-right horrific. It's not something I regularly observe among younger wives.

I've only had one run-in with psycho behavior in our FRG (some of you know the details). I never ended up finding out who she was but it was an eye-opener forcing me to make myself even more transparent. Some people thrive on drama and power over others, it's almost sociopath-like in a way.

Yep. I hate to say it, but many of us who want to help and be a resource for spouses get turned off to FRG and resign our positions, as I did, because of crazy and/or shocking behavior from others in the FRG. Our unit advisor decided to blacklist me for her own strange reasons, and has gone out of her way to be rude to me and my children in public because of it. She and her spouse have a multitude of issues, so I try to forgive and pray for her rather than be angry with her. It's just sad that she takes her frustrations out on innocent parties rather than dealing with them.