Military Moms: May - June - Page 4

[appifanie]

Originally Posted by gagin37

In case any of the other Ft.Bragg mamas are interested in coming, there is a NEW MEETING LOCATION this month at the Throckmorton Library- which is on Randolph behind the Watters Family Life Center, near the corner of Knox and Randolph. 10-11:30, Tuesday the 9th.

aww! after weeks of hassles, i finally got the kid some time at hourly day care, and she's there 8-10 on tues.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by sarahb918

Though I do believe I read somewhere that there are civilians living on Quantico because the base was built around the town.....

Hm...I did not know that.

There's a road that goes through Camp Lejeune that connects Jacksonville with Snead's Ferry (I think). Civilians used to be able to use that road because it's a major short cut. They can't anymore so they have to drive around, which doubles the time. I can understand allowing that to a certain extent. That road doesn't go near any housing or the commissary but I think it goes past a few restricted military buildings.

[madis81]

Thanks for taking the time to respond to my questions. Now, I think my biggest thing will be learning to cope with him gone! I know I can help my kids cope, but helping myself is sometimes a problem. Maybe I should pick up a few hobbies to help pass time.

One more question: Is there anything that you wish someone would have told about military life?

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by madis81

Thanks for taking the time to respond to my questions. Now, I think my biggest thing will be learning to cope with him gone! I know I can help my kids cope, but helping myself is sometimes a problem. Maybe I should pick up a few hobbies to help pass time.

One more question: Is there anything that you wish someone would have told about military life?

Nope. I haven't been hit with anything I wasn't aware of.

Hobbies are good. Friends can be helpful. If you are a people person, you can get involved in the various spouse's groups. They do everything from volunteer work to kids activities/playgroups to just social get-togethers. I don't know the names of the Army and Navy programs (if they have them) but it can be helpful to take the seminars set up to help introduce dependents to military life. The Marine Corps has L.I.N.K.S. Everyone I know who's taken that one said it was very helpful and they usually take a refresher every few years. There's also Key Volunteers (again Marine Corps). That's training for dependents who want to be more involved in unit activity. They are usually the liaisons between the unit command and the families unless that's changed.

[grcelizabeth]

Possible newbie here

YAY! I finally found the military forum here, by chance actually. DH is enlisting, hopefully depending on passing ASVAB, and we're pretty excited about it. We've been toying with the idea for 1 1/2-2yrs., doing tons and tons of research and talking with people. We have 3 little kids, I'm a Student Midwife, and stay at home mom. It will be interesting to know where he'll be stationed and whether I'll be able to find a preceptor there or if the state is legal. Dh is shooting for correctional specialist, or maybe MP, so we're limited to where we can go if he gets CS.

P.S. Katie, I think I've seen you on Diaperswappers.

[~Katie~]

Welcome, Grace! My screen name is similar on there, I haven't been on in a million years but used to post often, mostly in the breastfeeding forum.

Coping - I think the best advice I can give is use it as an opportunity to learn about yourself and all your wonderful strengths, it's not a matter of getting over it but learning to cope with it. Definitely find some hobbies and even getting into fitness can be a big boost. It can be somewhat easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry about your situation and getting depressed and blaming your spouse and everything else, so if you can find other things to focus on that will help a lot. We have the FRG in the Army, and while some people have found it helpful I haven't really utilized mine or felt it was very helpful to me. Still, I've found the biggest support amongst my neighbors. Military families know better than anyone else what you're going through.

[grcelizabeth]

I don't remember a screen name, but your avatar picture is of you breastfeeding and I love your tattoo. I just recognized the similarity because your siggy says Katie and you have posted quite a bit in military forum for homebirth and not vaccinating stuff. I have been looking at all the AP/homebirthing/no vaccinating/extended BF stuff involving military and have had a hard time coming across anyone in this same parenting style. Can you tell I've done all kinds of research?! lol.

What kind of activities are there for families? Are there just playgroups or other organized events, ect? We are very friendly/social people and I want the kids to be able to make friends and not be stuck at home, and we do not want drama in our lives. We get enough drama from the kids. lol

Originally Posted by KatieJD

Welcome, Grace! My screen name is similar on there, I haven't been on in a million years but used to post often, mostly in the breastfeeding forum.

Coping - I think the best advice I can give is use it as an opportunity to learn about yourself and all your wonderful strengths, it's not a matter of getting over it but learning to cope with it. Definitely find some hobbies and even getting into fitness can be a big boost. It can be somewhat easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry about your situation and getting depressed and blaming your spouse and everything else, so if you can find other things to focus on that will help a lot. We have the FRG in the Army, and while some people have found it helpful I haven't really utilized mine or felt it was very helpful to me. Still, I've found the biggest support amongst my neighbors. Military families know better than anyone else what you're going through.

[~Katie~]

I don't think that's me, my avatar is of my DS in a hooded dinosaur towel

It's good to do research MDC is a really great resource for finding families in your area, and through our military group there are lots of ladies all over the place that I'm sure would be happy to meet up should you end up in their location. FYT is also a good resource. If you live in military housing, there will be a lot of resources nearby most likely. For us, we have a pool and a community center with different things. They're always hosting different events every month. There are lots of playgrounds for kids and parents to interact. You can usually find museums and libraries with different events.

[Alohamelly]

Does anyone know where I can find or know of a midwife in the New Orleans area that's covered by Tricare?

[~Katie~]

You can either do a search for providers on the tricare website, or try calling local midwives and ask them if they take tricare. Also try calling hospitals and asking for contact info.

[grcelizabeth]

Oh, that's funny. Nevermind. I guess it's a different Katie. Thanks for the input. We'll have to find ways of interacting once everything passes thru. It will be quite some time, so I'm not worried.

Originally Posted by KatieJD

I don't think that's me, my avatar is of my DS in a hooded dinosaur towel

It's good to do research MDC is a really great resource for finding families in your area, and through our military group there are lots of ladies all over the place that I'm sure would be happy to meet up should you end up in their location. FYT is also a good resource. If you live in military housing, there will be a lot of resources nearby most likely. For us, we have a pool and a community center with different things. They're always hosting different events every month. There are lots of playgrounds for kids and parents to interact. You can usually find museums and libraries with different events.

[Katsmamajama]

Originally Posted by KatieJD

You can either do a search for providers on the tricare website, or try calling local midwives and ask them if they take tricare. Also try calling hospitals and asking for contact info.

I would honestly call local midwives first. The website doesn't always have accurate info. Perfect example, I though I would need to change ob/gyn's when DH went active duty and we switched to Tricare-- bummed me out, because I loved the one I had! She wasn't listed on the website in any form, but her practice took Tricare all the time!

[Maluhia]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

In HI all the beaches are supposed to be public so, technically, anyone is supposed to have access to the beaches on K Bay even without a military sponsor. Going to the beach at K Bay to surf is a valid reason for a civilian to want access, though. I'm not sure if they actually followed that law, though. I remember discussing it with some people while we were there and there was disagreement about whether or not you could get on the base without a sponsor.

They've changed the rules about 10 times in the last twenty years so most civilians I know don't know anymore that they can go to the front gate and get surf passes. That being said people also have to have a "legal" car which is not always the case in this economy...

Originally Posted by MarineWife

Yeah, that's why I was wondering why a civilian without military business would even be going on base. Seems they really should do something about that. What's the point in having a military base with a gate and all if it's not restricted?
Food delivery people come on post all the time, too. I guess it's a bit safer since you at least have to give your name/vehicle info, but that stuff could be fairly easily faked, I'd imagine.

Food Delivery People have their car checked out when they get the job and have a special pass for that though the company, although I do think that that is a weakness in the system. Often it's a military guy's 2nd job delivering Pizza, shows how well we pay some days

The point is that the American people "own" that base and restricting access to large swaths of land that include a whole lot more than the buildings, etc. is discriminatory. Why wouldn't we allow people who are 1. Americans and 2. live HERE access to hiking trails, roads, etc. that their tax dollars paid for? Not shopping at the commissary as that's a job benefit, but driving on a road that cuts off 50% of driving time - I'd be pissed if I could not go through a base as an American. Most bases have secondary gated ares for high-risk areas with ammo, ts, etc. so I don't see the big deal of drive-through access.

Originally Posted by sarahb918

Honestly, I think that's the way it should be. I hate sounding like a snob, but there is no reason that non-military dependent civilians need to be on military bases unless they are employees of the base. What's the point of having bases and base security if just anybody is allowed to walk on and off of them?

Though I do believe I read somewhere that there are civilians living on Quantico because the base was built around the town.....

Base security is just like the cops, they provide security. Excluding access to base for non-military families rejects the point that every tax-paying voting American is "our" boss there. I think holing away on base behind gates creates the sense of "other" that causes many communities to have difficulty with military families and if we stopped the exclusionary behavior as an institution we'd have much more positive community relations.

Originally Posted by grcelizabeth

I'm a Student Midwife

Do you have good childcare help? Because the military is notorious for making your husband's availability unreliable, and the military will always insist that his job comes first. There is no him going in late to work because you are at a birth sort of thing with military jobs, flexibility is not their strong suit.



As you can probably tell from my sour attitude, DH left on his 7 month deployment. Ah, joy, DD started it off with two deeply skinned knees. Poor thing, it seems we always have a cold or owie to start deployment times

[madis81]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

Nope. I haven't been hit with anything I wasn't aware of.

Hobbies are good. Friends can be helpful. If you are a people person, you can get involved in the various spouse's groups. They do everything from volunteer work to kids activities/playgroups to just social get-togethers. I don't know the names of the Army and Navy programs (if they have them) but it can be helpful to take the seminars set up to help introduce dependents to military life. The Marine Corps has L.I.N.K.S. Everyone I know who's taken that one said it was very helpful and they usually take a refresher every few years. There's also Key Volunteers (again Marine Corps). That's training for dependents who want to be more involved in unit activity. They are usually the liaisons between the unit command and the families unless that's changed.

Thanks for the helpful insight!

YAY! I finally found the military forum here, by chance actually. DH is enlisting, hopefully depending on passing ASVAB, and we're pretty excited about it. We've been toying with the idea for 1 1/2-2yrs., doing tons and tons of research and talking with people. We have 3 little kids, I'm a Student Midwife, and stay at home mom. It will be interesting to know where he'll be stationed and whether I'll be able to find a preceptor there or if the state is legal. Dh is shooting for correctional specialist, or maybe MP, so we're limited to where we can go if he gets CS.

grceliabeth, we're also getting reading to embark on this journey! What branch are you looking at? My DH wants to go in the Army. He has a four-year degree, so he is trying to decide whether to enlist, or put in a packet to attent OCS and hope he gets approved. We're looking at enlisting with an OCS rider (program 9d). Still learning more. Research is good! It's one of the reasons I came to this forum!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Maluhia

They've changed the rules about 10 times in the last twenty years so most civilians I know don't know anymore that they can go to the front gate and get surf passes. That being said people also have to have a "legal" car which is not always the case in this economy...

Food Delivery People have their car checked out when they get the job and have a special pass for that though the company, although I do think that that is a weakness in the system. Often it's a military guy's 2nd job delivering Pizza, shows how well we pay some days

The point is that the American people "own" that base and restricting access to large swaths of land that include a whole lot more than the buildings, etc. is discriminatory. Why wouldn't we allow people who are 1. Americans and 2. live HERE access to hiking trails, roads, etc. that their tax dollars paid for? Not shopping at the commissary as that's a job benefit, but driving on a road that cuts off 50% of driving time - I'd be pissed if I could not go through a base as an American. Most bases have secondary gated ares for high-risk areas with ammo, ts, etc. so I don't see the big deal of drive-through access.

I understand your point but I think there does need to be more security for military bases. There are all kinds of weapons (obviously) and secret military/defense info that needs to be carefully safeguarded. Giving open access to all Americans would be undoable, I think. How would you determine who's an American and who's not? You don't have to be a citizen to get a driver's license or picture ID. Would everyone have to start carrying around "papers"? And, even if someone is American doesn't mean they aren't hostile to the military or the government.

Granting drive-thru access isn't necessary if there are other routes. The problem with granting drive-through access is that once someone is on base they can theoretically go anywhere. It's not like each and every car and person is escorted by a MP. We are all limited in how we get from one place to another, whether it's by blocked access to certain routes or just because of the way roads are laid out. With the argument that every American should have access to government facilities because we pay for them with taxes would mean any American should be to just roam around the White House or the FBI building or the Pentagon whenever. That's not practical.

I also think it's important to check the safety and legality of cars going on the base. Showing proof of current registration and insurance isn't that difficult. If someone doesn't have those, they shouldn't be driving the car, anyway. People can walk or ride bicycles onto base. I know that would be a bit of a pain with surfboard but I've seen people riding bikes with their surfboards a lot.

[appifanie]

Ft. Bragg moms - we went to the library but there were a lot of groups it seemed like, so I didn't know who to talk to

Anyone know what's up with the huge group of kids that was in the library? Older and they swarmed the playground after.

[LeslieB]

Originally Posted by appifanie

Ft. Bragg moms - we went to the library but there were a lot of groups it seemed like, so I didn't know who to talk to

Anyone know what's up with the huge group of kids that was in the library? Older and they swarmed the playground after.

There's a pretty large homeschool group that typically meets there on Tuesdays. I haven't seen them in awhile, but maybe they took a hiatus for winter.

[gagin37]

Originally Posted by appifanie

Ft. Bragg moms - we went to the library but there were a lot of groups it seemed like, so I didn't know who to talk to

Anyone know what's up with the huge group of kids that was in the library? Older and they swarmed the playground after.

we ended up meeting in a corner of the kids section. Sorry you missed us. I missed half the meeting because i was chasing my kid trying to keep him from running a muck. He's nearly impossible to control indoors in that sort of setting right now. I'm not sure if we'll keep meeting there or if we'll move back to Womack. There are like, 4 other meetings throughout the month though if you still want to make it to one. here's the schedule http://www.lllofnc.org/groups/Fayetteville.html
the only other meeting i go to sometimes is the toddler meeting and its usually really good, or at least really pertinent to my kido.

[grcelizabeth]

We were looking at Air Force, but now it's the Army. Dh has never attended college, but would like to take some classes to help his reading and spelling improve. He would be starting on the bottom of the totem pole (e-1) but if he gets the MOS he wants (Corrections Specialist) then he would probably move up rank quickly. Oh man, research! I have researched and read thru soooo many forums, websites, threads, posts of all branches, the pros/cons of MOS's, deployments, family comes 2nd, military life, moving, refunded or making money on moves, insurance, different locations, benefits for all of us, why, what, and how each branch is enlisting and not enlisting. OMG, my head was about to explode until I slowed it down a few months ago. Anyhow, good luck on your endevour.

Originally Posted by madis81

Thanks for the helpful insight!
grceliabeth, we're also getting reading to embark on this journey! What branch are you looking at? My DH wants to go in the Army. He has a four-year degree, so he is trying to decide whether to enlist, or put in a packet to attent OCS and hope he gets approved. We're looking at enlisting with an OCS rider (program 9d). Still learning more. Research is good! It's one of the reasons I came to this forum!

Well, I really have no idea where they would send DH so I won't have childcare until I know what's available. I understand he wouldn't be able to go in to work late or come home early because I need to attend a birth, I just know that I can't rely on him at all. We would be paying for childcare someway and my preceptors business would also depend on how many births per month. Or I may end up having to put my apprenticeship on hold if there's not midwife around, who knows. I'm willing to make sacrifices for DH.

Originally Posted by Maluhia

Do you have good childcare help? Because the military is notorious for making your husband's availability unreliable, and the military will always insist that his job comes first. There is no him going in late to work because you are at a birth sort of thing with military jobs, flexibility is not their strong suit. As you can probably tell from my sour attitude, DH left on his 7 month deployment. Ah, joy, DD started it off with two deeply skinned knees. Poor thing, it seems we always have a cold or owie to start deployment times

[appifanie]

oh it's a breastfeeding group! i'm slow i don't need that - toddler groups i'm good with. thanks!

and the homeschoolers!! there were like 15-20 of them with one adult and they scared my kid off the playground. sigh.