Question about the book 'Positive Discipline'

[Adallae]

* Mods - This might fit better in Nighttime Parenting, I wasn't sure, please move if necessary!*

I'm halfway through this book, and so far I think it's wonderful. Lots of great ideas, and great ways to see the world through a young child's eyes.

However, the section on sleep really took me by surprise. Is teaching my child to sleep part of discipline? I thought this was a developmental thing, that she would do when she was ready. For example, I wouldn't discipline her if she walked later than other babies, I guess I was approaching sleep the same way.

DD is 11 months, and still needs to be rocked to sleep and wakes frequently (every 2 -3 hours). Have I failed to 'discipline' her at night? Are her nighttime demands inappropriate for her age?

If you've read this book, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

[One_Girl]

I read that book when dd was about three and I thought they were way to harsh. I think that you should go with what you feel is right. I view sleep as a developmental thing that happens when at its own pace. You might find the book Sleepless in America more engaging on this issue. The author did a study of the rate at which children wake at night that was very reassuring.

[LynnS6]

I think she's just plain wrong about nighttime parenting. I like her approach to discipline and she's got some good practical advice. But, I ignore the stuff on sleep. (And I'm not a hard-core co-sleeper at all costs. But it's what dd needed. There was no discipline issue there at all.)

[ssh]

You are right sleep is not a discipline issue. Sleeping through the night, nursing to sleep, night nursing, sleeping alone are all developmental issues. Children do things when they are ready and the less stress associated with sleep the better. When my DD was your DDs age she was still waking often too. We didn't have long periods (7 to 9 hours) of sleep until after all her teeth were in at about 2.5. At 3.5 she was still nursing to sleep and sleeping with us. Now at 4.5 she goes to bed in her room by herself with her nightlite and usually tells her babies and bears a story or two before going to sleep. Then she sleeps a solid 10 hours. Moving into her own bed and weaning were all her own ideas.

The author of the book Sleepless In America, Mary Kurcinka, also wrote a couple of discipline books. Parents, Kids and Power Struggles is really good.

[Adallae]

Thanks for the book suggestions! I will pick up Sleepless in America for sure.

We're going to visit some family next week, including my cousin, whose son (1 month older than DD) has been sleeping 12 hours a night in his crib in his own room since he was a month old. So I'm overly sensitive on the sleep issue because I know the questions/criticisms etc. will be coming full force. I'm trying to make sure I am feeling 100% confident in our choices so I don't have a meltdown (pregnancy hormones + lack of sleep are making me weepy).

ssh - My DD struggles with teething, and I have a gut feeling she won't sleep long stretches until it's over either. It really helps to know it's normal, and will end one day!

[One_Girl]

I found lying about my dd's sleep habits worked very well when I visited family. I did what I felt was right while not having to hear any child development beliefs that originated at least 60 years ago when kids were suppossed to be seen rather than heard. It is easy to blame sleepless nights on having the routine disrupted (which it will be on vacation), on teething, or on maybe coming down with something. You don't have to tell them that this is how she always is, just pick an excuse and stick with it. Sleeping through the night is generally described as a 5 hour stretch so if she has one longer stretch you can always say with a lot of truth that she sleeps through the night.