Violence

[kittywitty]

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Edited by kittywitty - 7/27/11 at 6:20pm

[WindyCityMom]

Not sure about the gun thing... hopefully somoene else can help with that.

As for them killing eachother.... well, would they pretend to slay a dragon instead?

[kittywitty]

Originally Posted by WindyCityMom

Not sure about the gun thing... hopefully somoene else can help with that.

As for them killing eachother.... well, would they pretend to slay a dragon instead?

They would never do that. Killing or hurting an animal (especially a dragon!) would be super uncool. But people? That's hilarious. Apparently.

[meemee]

i hope someone will post that article on gun play from mothering as i dont have the link or article.

please remember all of violence is NOT bad.

they need some 'violence' in their play to get their inner stuff out.

it is normal to be violent and play dead games.

they dont even have to be exposed to it, they can create it in their imagination. at 3 while trying to figure out what happened with our cats miscarriage my dd made up these unbelievable violent stories - lots of blood and gore and she was sheltered.

you dont have to stop their play to get them to realise IRL guns kill. they get that. just coz they are playing violently doesnt mean they will be doing that for the rest of their lives.

while i never bought my dd a gun she made imaginary ones with her blocks or fingers. same with swords. i have joined her in her game and taught her safety. like for instance you never ever ever point a real gun at anybody ever. we loved playing the shooting dying game and made it as dramatic as possible. i noticed however as she took part int eh caring of her dying gparents the killing game came down quite a bit.

i remember playing that with my nieces and nephews when they were little and always killing me.

i think violent play and horsing around - a lot of body contact physical games are essential for children in their play.

so honestly i would not try to stop them. i think you make it a big deal when you try to stop something that comes v. natural to them.

[kittywitty]

It's not so much the violence in and of itself-I played spies and armies a lot as a kid and I let them watch LOTR, etc. However, it's turned into actual violence against each other with punching matches. That's extreme even for me having been raised with 20+ male cousins and 3 brothers who were exceptionally cruel to each other.

[meemee]

aha so its not really the killing that's concerning you - but the body contact right? if i understand you alright?

i dont know where you are? what is the weather like?

are you guys able to go out a lot?

to me it sounds more of 4 children needing to find a better outlet for their physical 'madness'. i notice the moment spring comes i have to do more outdoor stuff or else dd starts 'acting' up. after being cooped up for winter. could this be happening to you?

so are your kids breaking down due to the punching match, lots of crying? i think you can guide your 2 year old on this but the others you can draw boundaries. however if your 5 year old is going thru what i call the 'angst' phase where they act 'hormonal' then that child may be the worst hitter. it is a stage they are going thru.

oooh i also see you are pregnant. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

[kittywitty]

Thanks!

It's nice out here, and we've been outside a lot. You'd figure they'd hurt each other more when we're cooped up in the winter, but with spring it's gotten worse! I'm hoping it's just a phase. We're going to get pool passes next month and I was thinking about trying aikido classes. I want martial arts or sports where they'll not learn to hurt people. Their last karate class was chaotic with a new teacher, waaay too many kids of all ages, and no real supervision. There were bullies and all they did was teach them to spar and hit each other without defense moves or anything. I have heard aikido is a bit more defense-oriented. Maybe that would help them get some agression and energy out without having to maim their siblings?

My ds also has sensory issues-he has gross motor delay and is the kid who will spin and throw himself and is clumsy and has a really hard time stopping these things so things do tend to escalate because of that. It's just gotten so much worse lately!

[meemee]

no no they wont hurt while in winter.

i really think something happens to us - our moods, how our body behaves. i think in winter everyone naturally goes into a 'meditative' stage (for lack of a better word) but the moment spring hits, the weather gets better - thats when all the acting out starts. i noticed dd's teacher understands that too as he started comign out during recess and playing iwth the kids making them chase bubble and other running games.