toddler has got to leave bed for baby

[mizznicole]

My son's bedtime manners are HORRIBLE. He starts out in his own bed, and lately has been coming into ours around 12pm. If he could just calmly situate himself in the middle and sleep, I would have 98% less of a problem. However, he kicks us in the gut, headbutts, whines, complains, and sometimes has a full-on tantrum (mostly because he's so TIRED). Now lately he wants to plaster himself to me, sleep on my head, dig his head into my shoulder blades, etc. It's just awful. I get really angry and sometimes I snap at him. It's so IRRITATING!

I tell him, "Here's your pillow. Sleep on your pillow." After a bunch of protest he calms down, then worms his way over to me, then we start over. I've also been telling him that he has to have good manners in mommy's bed, or he has to go to his own bed. I don't like making his bed a "punishment," but it seems like the only thing that registers. Ugh.

Okay, the real issue is that we have a baby coming, and there is NO WAY I want DS still in our bed with the newborn. It's just NOT safe.

So, I'd like to hear how you transitioned your toddler to make way for the newborn. Any tips or advice are welcome.

[fancyoats]

i would really love to hear some advice too. we are cosleeping with our 2.5 year old and expecting in the fall, so in the same boat (although dd seems a little more polite)

[K1329]

You might try putting a toddler mattress next to your bed for awhile. That way, he's in the same room, close to you, but, you have the space in the bed for the baby.

For us, there was no smooth transition. Dd felt very far away and alone in her room after bunking with us. The transition never happened! Eventually, near her FIFTH birthday she moved to her room on her own! Hope you have better luck!

[AutumnAir]

We're in almost exactly the same boat here too! No advice, sorry, but will be taking if anyone else has BTDT!

[Peony]

We spilt off into different beds or rooms at that point. One parent takes the toddler, and then the other one gets the baby.

[prancie]

in our house daddy handles toddler at night, including sleeping wit him unless toddler specifically wants me

[JudiAU]

My husband had to take over toddler duties once the new baby came along. No room. Not safe. I grieved a bit for our several hour snuggle but it just wasn't possible. Part of the new baby plan was another bed that DH could have to get extra sleep and/or snuggle with toddler. DH hasn't slept with me and the baby in a long time. I miss him but we all really, really get more sleep this way. Much better than when DS was a babe. The toddler will adjust although I would try and get the transition done BEFORE the babe is born.

For me, I need a king bed to co-sleep with anyone. Three was just a miserable experience. DH always resented it. I resented him.

[physmom]

Can you side car a crib and put some sort of divide in between like a pillow or stuff animal or something? We've been transitioning DD over from sleeping in between us to sleeping in a side-car crib for basically the exact same reasons you mentioned. We make a big deal about how it's HER bed and since she likes that something is all hers it has gone pretty well. She'll still be in our room until we end up moving (and then will try for #2) so I have no clue how that whole moving to other room transition will go (if at all!).

[alegna]

When dd was in her own room she was like that when she came in at night. When she moved back to our bed full-time, she got her manners back.

If that doesn't work, the separate space in the same room or splitting parents would be what I would try. I would not put a toddler alone at night, especially if they're being "replaced" in the family bed.

-Angela

[spmamma]

DD started STTN at age 2, but started waking up again at around 2.5 after DS arrived on the scene. We tried unsuccessfully to get her to stay in her bed for a few nights. We very quickly realized that it was a security issue for her and that we needed to find a way to meet her needs.

In the end, we dragged her hardly-used crib mattress out of the garage and laid it on the floor of our bedroom. She's allowed to come it at any point in the night and sleep in her little bed. She was actually rather excited about it when we first got it out - it was her "new bed".

I figure she'll stay in her bed again when she's ready. For now, we're back to being the Waltons with DD on the floor and the rest of us in the big bed. "Night, Ma. Night, Pa. Night, John Boy."

[welsh]

This was DS only in October when he was 26 mths.
He would happily go to sleep in his own room once we bought him a bed (always hated the crib, so before this transition we co-slept in my queen and DH was in the guest room ).
He'd wake crying for me by 12am and would spend the whole night kicking me and lying east to west, leaving me no room. I'm a light sleeper anyway and would spend the night squashed against the bedrail.
Suddenly, quite recently, he stopped waking. I remember getting so excited telling DH that DS hadn't come into my bed until 5am!
Now he wakes between 6.30 and 7.30am and comes in for snuggles which I love! I never thought we'd get to this point with no CIO or anything horrible.
I have 8 wks before my EDD to enjoy my bed with my Husband!!!!